For five years, I lived in a country that was not defined by their fear of terrorism.

On September 11, 2001, my innocent mind was unable to identify the sheer horror within the images of burning buildings. I was unable to understand why my father did not pick me up from school on that Tuesday afternoon because he was called into work for an “emergency.” And I definitely could not comprehend how “bad people” could willingly take the lives of 2,996 people in an act of terror.

My generation has been taught fear. From a young age, we were exposed to images of tragedy and great loss at the hands of terrorists. When we were just completing our first years of school, our country entered a war on terrorism that we are still struggling to fight today. Now, this generation is old enough to fight in that war. We have been conditioned to fear the unknown. Malls, concerts, public transportation, and big cities are all hazardous areas because of how many people are in the same area. What kind of world do we live in where someone has to be afraid of his or her own city? I didn’t understand just how serious this unconscious fear was until a few weeks ago.

My mom had been telling me for weeks to avoid the malls because they weren’t safe following the attacks on Paris. Everyone was a little shaken up after seeing news coverage of the horrific terrorist attacks within France, but I thought the warnings were just my mother worrying as she always does. I went Christmas shopping at Roosevelt Field mall, just as I had hundreds of times before, but this mall trip was different than anything I had experienced.

While shopping, I suddenly heard a very loud bang echo throughout the mall. People froze immediately. And then just as suddenly, everyone was running to the nearest exit or ducking for cover. Before I could even process what was happening, a worker within the store rushed me and a few other costumers through a storage room and into a back bathroom, where she locked the door and urged us to be quiet. I called my father who had been shopping across the mall and he yelled, “Get out of the mall! There’s a shooter! Get out of the mall.”

Millions of thoughts rushed through my head. I was locked in a bathroom with no way out, and we had just been fed information that the shooting had taken place directly below our location. Suddenly, I remembered all of my mother’s warnings. I remembered the attacks in a mall in Africa a few short years ago. After the Paris attacks, everyone has feared an attack in the U.S. After running out of the mall, I received word that the cause of the panic had been a failed armed robbery attempt.

This event made me realize that just like the rest of America, I also live in fear. I pictured the worst following the sound of gunshots. The mass hysteria that followed was an example of just how terrified people are.

We have been taught that it could happen to anyone, anywhere, and at anytime. And it is true. We could be walking our dog, taking a train home, going sightseeing in the city, or shopping for next Christmas. So why constantly live in fear? We are consumed by the fear of terrorism, and with that fear we have allowed them to win. Terrorists want us to be afraid to live our lives. We can’t be afraid any longer. We may not be able to stop terrorists from committing horrific acts, but we can deter them by not living in fear of what is to come next. Do not let the fear define you.