Spooky Season is upon us, and with it comes the anticipation of–drumroll–FREE CANDY.
Even if you're too cool to dress up on October 31st, you've probably enjoyed your share of sweet and sour goodies over the years. Just because it has sugar doesn't mean it's Halloween material.
If you're planning to buy candy for trick-or-treaters this year, thank you. You're doing a huge favor to a number of childhoods and ought to be commended for it. But, please, for the love of all things sugary and good, keep the following items out of your shopping cart.
2. Good & Plenty.
Here's a scary story: In 5th grade, I thought these bad boys were basically Mike and Ikes so I popped a handful of them into my mouth. This was before I knew what the word "licorice" meant and I immediately regretted my life choices.
3. Dots.
These are not gumdrops. These are plastic-y, flavorless posers that have no business in anyone's mouth.
5. Bit-O-Honey.
These strange concoctions are from a bygone era and that's exactly where they should stay.
6. Mellowcreme pumpkins.
Yeah, they're cute. But there is such a thing as too sweet and these push the limit.
8. Those strawberry thingies.
Nobody knows what these taste like or ever mustered the courage to find out.
9. Laffy Taffy–especially the banana flavor.
It's time we were honest with ourselves: these are a pain to chew and they don't even taste that good.
10. Pennies.
There is no worse crime than handing out candy corn–except handing out something inedible, of course. Just donate to a charity if you want to lose your change that bad.
13. Anything homemade.
The extra gesture is sweet, but if we're being honest nothing is more unappetizing to a kid than watching someone drop a sandwich baggie of healthy-looking, sticky granola into their candy bag.