Grieving During The Holiday Season
Start writing a post

Grieving During The Holiday Season

When one goes through a traumatic event of some sort the holidays can be difficult. Remember it's OK to not be OK.

Grieving During The Holiday Season

When you loose someone close to you there are certain times of the year that you notice that loss more than others. Usually the holidays are an especially rough time of the year for people who have lost a close friend or family member, and I am no exception.

December,10th 2008 I lost my first ever childhood friend in a car accident where he was killed on impact; his name is Jeff and he died at the age of 17. Now let me tell you a little bit about Jeff. He was the smartest, but laziest people I knew. School came so easily to him; it's like he took a smart pill or something. I swear this kid new everything or tried to know everything. He had a knack for sports and was very talented in baseball and just overall a wonderful person. I remember Jeff and his brother would come over to the house and we would play tag and a made up game called ninjas; we would even try to find salamanders in our basement windows. I remember one new years eve Jeff and his brother came over and my brother and I plus the two boys had a sleep over and I got the futon to myself. Jeff and I had a bunch of fun times together. We may have grown apart a little bit in High School, but he will forever be my first friend and I miss him dearly.

This will be the second holiday season without my older brother being alive and that is extremely difficult. It just constantly feels like someone is missing, that I am forgetting someone to shop for, or when I want a family member's advice or opinion (other than my parents). And, it's very hard to realize I don't have that anymore. I don't have my older brother here for the holidays. He will never come home knocking on the door with a huge grin on his face to see my mom and I. Some days I don't remember the sound of his voice and other days it seems like I just saw him yesterday. So yes, the holidays are extremely hard for myself and everyone who has experienced something traumatic.

So, how can we make the holidays fun and exciting again? It's definately different for everyone, but I like to make a list of everything I am happy about. I do this to remind myself how fortunate and lucky I am to be me. To live the life of a working 25 year old woman that has loving parents, supportive boyfriend, and the best friends you could ask for. I also decorate for the holidays. I feel that if you look at things that are bright and happy, you have no choice but to be happy. Also, the most important one is to allow yourself to be sad when you need to be. Don't hide your grief; if you're sad be sad. Allow yourself that time to mourn the loss of not having that person around. Yes, the holidays are about cheer and spreading joy but, if you need to recharge and take a moment and find that happiness then allow yourself to do so.

Allow yourself to grieve if you need to this holiday season. It will help the transition to being happy and excited a little smoother. I will end this article with a quote that my best friend told me: "Remember, it's OK to not be OK."

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Ready or not, here come the holidays, friends, and if you're as obsessed with the spirit of the season as I am, you are much more ready than not. Thanks to Hallmark Channel's Monopoly game making it possible to celebrate all year long, you can be ready now, too!

Keep Reading... Show less
Stephanie Tango

The pandemic has been in our world for more than half of 2020 and people are still acting stupid. If anything, they're getting stupider. They think that the virus is gone. It's not. Stop going to frat parties. Stop trying to go places without a mask. I wish things were normal, too. They're not.

Keep Reading... Show less
Kai Parlett

In the summer of 2017, 20 type 1 diabetics completed a 10-week 4,000+ mile bike ride from New York to California. They biked against the advice of doctors, family, and friends. Many were skeptical that people with diabetes could complete such a physically challenging trip without putting themselves in danger due to their disease.

Keep Reading... Show less

That's right, you heard that correctly: Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich called off their engagement after the couple originally announced their engagement in July after beginning to date in March.

Keep Reading... Show less

Demi Lovato's Called-Off Engagement Reminds Us Of The Importance Of Taking Our Time In Relationships

While this may be another hardship she sadly has to endure, I know she will find a way to inspire and help others through it.


I am heartbroken.

Keep Reading... Show less

We all love a good ol' sappy Christmas movie and this year, the Hallmark Channel is finally giving us what we want: diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Seasonal Depression Is Real And It Deserves Our Attention

Check in on your friends throughout the winter season, it can be brutal.


As we transition seasons and enter the last few months of the year, some are feeling grand about this natural shift. But that doesn't mean everyone is thrilled that the weather is cooling down — it's important to extend your knowledge to the phenomenon that is seasonal depression.

The lack of sunlight during the later seasons of the year, beginning with autumn, triggers a state of depression for about 15% of the population. This results in the lack of serotonin provided by the sun, causing it to be hard for some to do a lot of the things that would normally be deemed simple tasks to do during the earlier times in the year like getting out of bed, showering, going to work/school, etc. A major difference is an intense need for sleep similar to a hibernation effect.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

September Is Suicide Awareness Month, But Mental H​ealth Is An Everyday Discussion

Mental illnesses deserve our attention 365 days a year.


September is Suicide Awareness Month, providing an opportunity to raise awareness, further educate yourself, and remember the reality that mental illnesses present. Yet it's critical to understand that suicide awareness is not an annual Instagram hashtag to use and forget. Actively advocating for mental health resources, progress in education, and a broken stigma is an everyday ask — an activity that we can each participate in.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments