Twas the night before the new semester, when all through the residence hall, not a creature was not having a panic attack, not even a mouse.

Winter break is over and unfortunately, it is that time again my fellow college students that we begin a new semester!

For the rare few of us that actually enjoy school, just stop reading this article now. For the other 99% of us who are DREADING starting yet another semester, please proceed.

I am writing this article in real time, the night before the beginning of my spring semester of my 2nd year at college, so I can say from first-hand experience that students truly do suffer the five stages of grief during the final hours leading up to the beginning of the semester.

Stage 1: Denial

For a lot of us, this stage actually begins about a week before the beginning of the semester.

We keep telling ourselves that we have so much time until classes start. We don't need to get our school supplies ready, buy books, actually start going to sleep before 4 a.m., etc yet. We have all the time in the world to worry about that!

Some of us even lie to ourselves and say that this semester is going to be so much better than the last! Denial in it's saddest form: trying to convince yourself that you're actually going to do well this semester. LOL.

Stage 2: Anger

This stage starts at around 8 pm the dreaded night before.

We are angry at ourselves for procrastinating. Angry at our college for forcing us to go back. Angry at our parents for conceiving us. Angry at the universe for creating the concept of time!

But alas, the time has come, and at this point procrastination is unavoidable, so we move on to the next stage.

Stage 3: Bargaining

It is now around 9 pm, and we're tired of being angry, so this is when we try to make a deal with ourselves on just how late we can stay up tonight and still wake up in time for our 9 am class the next day (UGH).

Stage 4: Depression

Along with the real major depressive disorder that most of us are already experiencing in the background, at around 10 pm comes the wallowing in dramatic depression, and realizing this is actually happening, and there is nothing we can do about it.

It's kinda like the anger stage, but with crying.

We lay on our floor listening to sad Taylor Swift songs surrounded by the books and notebooks and other shit we need to organize for the next day, and forcing ourselves into a full-on sobbing anxiety attack.

This stage for most people will only last for 30 minutes, but for dramatic self-pitying people like me, this stage can keep going throughout the first week of classes (or even the rest of the semester. Some of us never reach the final stage of grief, we just live in the depression stage until final exams).

Stage 5: Acceptance

Like I said, for me, this stage hits usually around a week into classes, but for most of us this happens at around 10:30 the night before, when we actually have to start doing shit to get ready and going to sleep, or we will be so fucked the next morning.

But seriously guys, we've all made it through at least one semester of college without dying, so I'm sure we can do it again.

So get your ass to bed at a decent time, get your shit together, and go to class on the first day of spring semester ready to kick some college ass (or just ready to succeed enough to pass your classes, because honestly, that's all that really matters at this point).