There is one vegetable that everyone seems to love. You'll find it as an accompanying side dish, the star in various casseroles, and an occasional dweller in soups. You can buy it in the produce aisle, in a can, or even grow it in your garden! I remember being sixteen and excited to sample the various dishes available at the Day Family Reunion.
However, I was beyond mortified to find not one, but eight separate casseroles were filled with America's favorite vegetable:
Green Beans.
Yes, you read that right. I have often thought about why my friends and family can devour them with delight, while the mere sight of them crushes my joy. Why do green beans disgust me so? Was there a traumatic event in my early childhood that altered my taste pallet forever? Not that I know of.
Do I simply despise all bitter foods? No, as I am an avid fan of Brussels sprouts and broccoli. Could it be that I am simply a hater of all things legume? As a deep lover of black beans, kidney beans, navy beans, etc., I, again, must answer no.
All I know is that green beans are long legumes of misery. Plus, they don't even look like beans at all! Sure, they belong to the same legume family as the kidney bean, but have you ever tried making chili or bean dip with green beans? Go ahead. Try and make green bean chili. I'll wait.
I have never known WHY I hate this particular produce, but after working at Walmart as a cashier, I have been enlightened (and can even prove) that Green Beans were propagated by Satan himself.
You see, all produce has a four-digit produce look-up code (PLU) that not only helps stores keep track of their inventory, but also aids cashiers during check-out. For example, bananas are 4011, avocados are 4046, and sweet potatoes are 4074. Green Bean's PLU 4066 seems innocent enough, but further inspection reveals that the 4066 is ONE six away from containing the number 666, the world's most villainous number.
Friends, heed my warning. Sure, they may be a high source of calcium and potassium, but do not be fooled. Remember that they are also legumes of misery. The next time you're thinking about cooking a side to go with your steak, say "NO!" to Satan's favorite veggie and say "YES!" to protecting your family.