“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; But remember what you have now, is what you once hoped for.”
All relationships are hard, but serious, long-term ones can make you crave being single. The more serious you get with someone the more life takes over. No longer are there date nights several nights a week or long “I miss you” texts whenever you are apart.
There is laundry to be done, food that has to be bought and cooked, work and/or school to be balanced, an apartment that needs to be cleaned and a whole lot more responsibilities. Essentially, you are balancing two people’s responsibilities instead of one. Yes, it is exhausting. Yes, sometimes you want to be selfish and ignore all responsibilities. Yes, sometimes you wish you were single again.
I recently went through a phase in my long-term relationship where I wondered if the grass was greener on the “single” side.
I began wondering what it felt like being single and started craving nothing more than attention from a guy other than my boyfriend. I craved the first date feeling of spending hours getting yourself ready with a stomach full of butterflies. I craved for a man trying to win me over with sweet words. I craved having some independence and alone time, not being on anyone else’s schedule. I craved only having to worry about myself.
For days, I debated back and forth on what to do... do I sacrifice giving up on a relationship with a man I love so dearly just to see if life is better single? I mean this is the man who shows me what it’s like to be loved, who reminds me I am beautiful every day, who encourages me to go after my goals, who holds my hand and tells me he loves me multiple times a day, who loves my family, who puts up with my mood swings and my anxiety, who does EVERYTHING he can for me and is my biggest fan.
For several days I desired, craved, and wondered endlessly if the grass was greener on the “single” side until it hit me…
Being single was not all that fun. Sure, getting ready for a first date is fun and all but the actual date itself, when you are so nervous that you want to vomit, yeah that’s not fun. Or having to go on tons of dates with losers who just want to sleep with you. Or having to try every dating app possible in order to get a response that doesn’t make your skin crawl. Or having to tell the same thing about yourself over and over AND over again to different guys because the last guy didn’t work out. Or having to deal with the fear of rejection. Or having to constantly have shaved legs.
I mean geez, being in a relationship is exhausting but being single is not any easier. So next time you wonder if the grass is greener on the “single” side, remember that it is a whole lot harder searching for love than it is to already have love.