To the Grandfather I have lost,
I didn't think that the last time I saw you was going to be the last time.
I haven't had the chance to grieve because I don't want it to be true. It feels like you're still here like I could come down for a visit, and I would be able to see you as if nothing changed.
I know that everything has changed because you're gone.
I won't be able to tell you about school or anything that I've been up to, you won't know how we're all doing and you won't be able to enjoy the delicious dinners that I know grandma makes.
You won't be able to ride around on your scooter and say hi to everyone. You won't be able to sit on the porch and enjoy the weather. You no longer get to enjoy holidays and family get-togethers.
I wish I lived closer so I could have spent more time with you.
I used to be around so often when I was younger and you lived closer.
I remember when I would get mad at you and grandma for dancing in the garage.
I remember when you used to take me for rides on the riding lawnmower.
I remember going to your camp and feeding the chipmunks.
I know I still have the memories but I don't have you.
You were taken away from all of us and that's something that time won't heal.
Time can't take back the pain you were in.
Time can't take back the scares you faced.
Time can't bring you back so we can all have more time with you.
SEE ALSO: The Truth About Losing Your First Grandparent
All I want is time.
I want time to see you.
I want time to talk with you.
I want time for you to see me graduate college.
I want time even though the clock stopped ticking.
I'm sorry if this sounds selfish, but we all just needed more time.
But I do know that time will help heal our wounds.
I know you're better off right now but we're not better off without you.
The whole family needed more family reunions, more dinners together, more time to make memories. Now you won't be in a lot of those memories and it's hard for us but we're all trying for you.
So to the Grandpa that I lost,
You will always be in my heart and I promise to make you proud.
Sincerely, A Granddaughter trying to make peace