If someone had asked me when I was a senior in high school if I wanted to go to through at least 2 more years of school after completing my undergrad, I likely would have said no. Now, that’s changed.

At the beginning of my junior year at Curry College, I decided that I wanted to continue my education by getting a Master’s degree in creative writing. I am a student at heart and I love learning. However, watching several of my classmates spend half of the fall semester senior year studying for the GRE exam made me realize that graduate school was not going to happen right away.

First is the most obvious: money. I want to take a year off and find a job, so I can help pay for graduate school. Not to mention books or any other materials I will need.

Getting a job before going to graduate school would also give me the opportunity to pay off student loans I already have, rather than have it pile up.

I firmly believe that I never would have graduated Magna Cum Laude, plus be inducted into 2 national honor societies, if my dad had not insisted dealing with all the financial grief so I could focus on school. Now, I need to step up and help out—once I win the war to make him let me help pay for my Master’s rather than be the pretty, precious, protected Portuguese girl that relies on daddy to do everything for her. That’s a whole other obstacle in and of itself.

Aside from that, having a job also gives me something to fall back on in case I do not get into graduate school. I’m not saying I can’t do it, but grad school is competitive. Certain programs only allow a specific amount of people in. And the GREs include math: my absolute worst subject. So, if I don’t get into a program, I will at least still be supporting myself financially with a job.

Another reason why I decided to put off graduate school for at least a year is that I was concerned I would burn out. Junior and senior years were tough academic wise. Plus, I was a teaching assistant, writing tutor, working at the school library, involved with the English Club, and I had an internship spring of my junior year. Whatever free time I had, I wanted to spend it hanging out with friends, reading, doing laundry, or watching YouTube videos.

I learned that to survive college, I had to give myself a mandatory 24 hours at least once a week where I did not do school work. Otherwise, I risked overworking myself and turning in assignments that made me say, “I wrote this?” Studying for GREs or writing grad school applications definitely would have gotten in the way of that. The last thing I wanted was to give up on graduate school within the first six months, upon realizing I did not have the energy for it.

The next reason is a more personal one. My mother has a grocery list of health problems. While I was having the time of my life for four years, my dad and my autistic younger brother were stuck at home dealing with the burden. I wanted to be home for them, to relieve the pressure however I could off my dad. My mom is doing OK now, but it’s still tough, especially trying to make it to all her doctors appointments and knowing within the next four years, at least, she will be on kidney dialysis.

Lastly, the main reason I put off graduate school is because I have no idea of what I want to study. Well, scratch that. I still want to do creative writing. Only not everyone is JK Rowling or Stephen King, who have gotten so popular they sell books simply because their name is on the cover. It is what I want to study in addition to the creative writing that is giving me some trouble.

I worked in Curry College’s Levin Library, for three years. Before that, I spent a lot of time growing up in my schools’ libraries, and my aunt is a librarian. I loved the atmosphere, being surrounded by books all day. But was it something I wanted to make a career out of? I wasn’t sure.

I was also a teaching assistant in college for three years. I have been told I would be a good teacher. At times, I did genuinely enjoy the work and interacting with the students. One professor I was close to at Curry College told me I should be an English professor and some of my family members did urge me to consider education. But if I really wanted to be a teacher, I would have gone to Bridgewater State University. And since there seemed to be a direct pipeline from Taunton High School to Bridgewater State, I did not want to deal with another four years of seeing the same faces.

Aside from that, I detest school administrations. They care more about test scores than whether or not the kids are actually learning anything. Once the MCAS exam is over, teachers basically stop teaching, because everything they taught over the course of a few months was on that test. Some schools are also selective with their funds, spending more money on the athletes than the scholars. I have no patience for the politics of it all.

Several family members urged me to start graduate school right after finishing my undergraduate. While I may come to regret the choice to wait later on, as of right now, this decision is the one that makes the most sense to me. I need time to get my bearings, find steady work, even if it is in retail, and figure out what I want to do for the next chapter of my life.

If you are in a similar situation, know you are not alone. If you are determined to get there, you will. It might not happen right away, or the way it’s supposed to, but it will. The way I see it, everything happens for a reason. You do what is best for you and take however long you need to figure out what you want. After all, it is your life and no one else can live it for you.