Finals are over and summer is here, but for a good student dealing with anxiety, the freedom is far from their mind. No matter how much they would really like to enjoy the freedom without any stress to think about, the bad occurrence of getting a horrid final grade is still burning in their mind. For those who struggle with anxiety, getting a terrible grade can still burn in anyone’s mind; anxiety can take over despite how it is only a grade. A bad grade doesn’t define anybody’s worth, but there is still that lingering fear. It is a crushing blow to get a terrible grade for a class you tried so hard to do decently in, but anxiety can take over and never leave when nobody does not want to think about it any longer.

Ever since I was a little girl, I always learned to work harder. It is quite a process, but I have came so far from the person I used to be. No matter how hard I would work and work, even if I wasn’t in the mood to do anything, my anxiety tends to take over no matter where I am or what I am trying to work on. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, occasional anxiety is a normal part of life; for a person with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not go away and can get worse over time. I believe that I have a generalized anxiety and panic disorder. The panic disorder take over more often when it comes to feeling the increased pressure of having to be a good student and getting a good grade. I have anxiety all around, but the panic disorder tends to take over far too often.

Naturally, I am shy and I tend to always be afraid to ask for help; I also tend to misinterpret when someone asks me if I need any help. Usually, when an instructor or professor asks if I need help, I misinterpret it as needing physical help when they really meant help with the course. I am stubborn and independent, but somehow my anxiety can bring the worst of being those things. Dealing with anxiety on an almost daily basis is never ending, and it can also be really scary. Anxiety is really scary because you never know when it can actually hit you. You may think that you are feeling fine, confident, and having a good day, but anxiety can hit you out of nowhere. Even if you never cried when feeling so much tension in trying get something done, you’d break down and cry when it becomes too much to do in so little time.

Most of the time, I am usually confident and looking forward to whenever something great could be happening in the near future. Deep down, there is the anxiety with all of the questions for all the things that can go wrong. At the moment, I am feeling gleeful about doing a sociology senior thesis in the fall on disability and education. Somehow, there is the anxiety lingering somewhere (it hasn’t hit yet) about all of the things that could possibly go wrong. While it could be incredibly tough to gather data from people with disabilities and to analyze the statistics from what I study, I am looking forward as what I am studying is something that has barely been done. While dealing with anxiety, I tend to love the challenge; but somehow these challenges can end up being too much.

The most important part of everything, despite having to deal with anxiety on a daily basis, is that we all do the best we can. Anxiety can suck a majority of the time, but we cannot let it take over our lives too often. With this in mind, you are not alone and we can take it one step/one roll at a time one day at a time; with perseverance, we can lead ourselves to success.