To My Friends Going Through Tough Break Ups

To My Friends Going Through Tough Break Ups

This is what you need to hear.


To my friends that are mourning their most recent relationships:

Your feelings are 100% valid, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This may be a trying time for you, but don't worry. I know how strong you are, and I know that you will make it through this, better than you were before him. You do not need him to make you feel whole. You are spending the rest of your life with YOU, so make sure to take care of yourself the best you can. If this means deleting all of your social media accounts for the time being, then delete all of your social media accounts. If this means that you cry on the phone with me at 2 AM, baby, let all of those tears of anger, sadness, and frustration out. He does not deserve you.

When I went through my ultimate worst break up, it sucked. I spent a lot of time by myself in the following months, getting to know myself, or the post-relationship version of myself though, and it was amazing. I re-fell in love with who I am, I figured out what I wanted out of my life (well, at the time, because this is constantly changing), what I liked, and also embraced being a single gal, because it meant more time for my friends, the people that truly love me for who I am, and won't ever let me down.

I think that this is an important time for you to do the same thing: take some time for yourself to heal, and be patient, because it does take time. Spend time reflecting on the good parts of your relationship, but then after you are satisfied, write a letter. Thank that person for all of the good times. Everything that she or he taught you. The laughs. The experiences and places that the two of you went together at odd times. After you get it all out on the page, print it, and burn it, bury it, shred it- just let go of it. Let go of the anger.

Think of this process as the seven steps of grief- because this is what the break up feels like. As time goes on, the pain begins to loosen, you'll find yourself again, or create a new version of yourself. During my process of this, I often found myself growing frustrated that I couldn't return to who I was before this relationship. However, as soon as I accepted that this experience had just turned me into a new person, I decided that I was okay with that. I always say that I would rather have known this person and these experiences and suffered the pain of after, than to not have had known him at all. And although I can still feel the weight of my old pain inside me sometimes, I have come to nurture it and appreciate it as a part of myself.

Someday, my friend, for both of us, there will be significant others that cherish us, just as we will cherish them. We will then both be thankful for our past relationships and the learning experience that came out of them. You may not be at that point yet, and that is okay. Remember what I have told you a hundred times: Your feelings are 100% valid, and be patient with yourself. You have to live with you the rest of your life.

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.


To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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College Can Be Difficult, But Trust Yourself, Girl

Life can throw you curveballs sometimes, and times can get tough, but it is SO important to pick yourself up and trust that you can do anything.


I'll be honest, this school year was one of the hardest years of my life. There were lots of moments throughout the year that I just wanted to go home and get away from it all. I had to be reminded that I have been raised to try as hard as you possibly can, and I was doing that. It took some determination and time, but I didn't give up.

No matter how bad I felt, I stayed and persevered.

Now that I am home for the summer, I have been reminiscing on the past two semesters of school. At the beginning of the school year, I had a much different idea of how it would go. It was going to be "my year," but somehow while the year was going on, I felt that I had been completely wrong. It's easy to come to quick conclusions when life doesn't exactly go your way. Conclusions like "this year has been the worst year ever" and "I can never get a break" were often popping up in my head. My grades weren't where I wanted them, and I was surprised by a lot of occurrences that I never expected to happen (imagine a wild ride). I found out who my true friends are and who I could rely on, and luckily, my circle only grew. Being extremely extroverted, it was hard for me to get out and just do something. Being in this "rut" took a toll on me. I had to make those hard decisions about doing what was best for me in the long run instead of doing something just for the moment. Trust me when I say, this was NOT easy at all.

Through all the tears and change all around me, I decided to proceed to the finish line because I am NOT a quitter.

I decided that it was time for me to allow myself to fully, undeniably be me. I wanted to start doing the little things I enjoy again like working out, taking pictures, and simply just going out to do anything. I started forcing myself to take any opportunity that came my way, and it helped. One of the things that brought me so much joy was kickboxing – talk about therapeutic, people! Kickboxing at least three times a week helped my mood shift so much, and it was a start to seeing me again. I am so blessed with friends who would come over at, literally, any time of the day. Spending time with them helped me more than they could ever know. We did anything from just hanging out in my living room to splurging on a fun dinner. Through everything that I was doing daily, I was learning how to rely on myself. Looking back now, I have never really had to know what it felt like to rely mainly on myself. I did get so much help from my family and friends, but what good could their help do if I didn't want to help myself first?

Even though I felt like this was one of the worst years of my life, it taught me so much more than I ever expected. Looking back now, I grew so, so much. I learned how to smile when times get tough. I learned that it really is okay to not be okay sometimes, and it will be okay eventually. I learned that it's okay to ask for help because we weren't made to do life alone. Most importantly, I learned how to trust myself. My hope for anyone reading this, you will learn from my experience that the worst seasons get better. I am in such a good place right now because I never gave up, and I will continue to never give up. In a short amount of time, I am seeing how far I have come and how much I grew.

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