My family used to always tell me that going through a breakup is the same as mourning a death because, in both situations, that person you loved for so long has left your life. It sucks, it really does. I recently went through one of the toughest breakups I have gone through in years simply because I loved that guy more than I had ever loved anyone, then on a random July day, he decided to end our long-term relationship with very little reasoning.
I wanted to stay as strong as I could during the actual breakup, itself, but the shocking part to me was how he treated me back. He yelled at me, he taunted me, and would barely give me the time of day all while I stayed silent and kindly respected his misplaced anger as much as it hurt me. In past breakups I had gone through, the guys always seemed sympathetic for hurting me, a couple of them even cried because they hurt just at the thought of hurting me. However, this guy did not show me any remorse and treated me as if I had ruined his life and that has been making the breakup even harder. I talked about my feelings with multiple friends, went to therapy, and continuously discussed it with my parents because I felt as if I was alone in the world. It’s like while I was still loving him, he had already moved on and could care less about how I was feeling, and sometimes I still feel that this is true.
I tell you this to show you that no matter what your situation may be if he was so great then why would he ever dream of hurting you? The right man, when he comes along, will be a complete Prince Charming and wouldn't dream of shattering your heart. The right man will love you endlessly and unconditionally. The right man won't keep tabs on everything you have done wrong, rather he will remember everything you have done right. The right man will never place the blame on you, rather he will see how equal the blame may be. It's easy when you're breaking up with somebody to assign blame to the other person, but true maturity is when you can recognize and admit the blame on your end, too, rather than giving it all away.
Now, I am not here to tell my story to get revenge or to "expose this boy to the world," I care about him and I truly would never wish harm upon him even after the harm he caused me. It's like this when someone treats you unkindly or causes you pain, there's no reason you should cause pain back to them. Just because someone hurt you doesn't mean you fight back, killing them with your kind spirit and wishing them the best in this world is all we can ever hope for as human beings. I understand his immaturity and his irrational ways because at one point I loved him, and when you love someone you accept every inch of their soul and every fiber of their being. You love and accept the good in them as well as the bad.
Loving someone is difficult. It takes time, trial and error, and a lot of patience and some people just cannot stand up to the challenge even if you were prepared to do so. If this breakup is getting you down like mine did, just remember that even though they brought you pain, it was for a reason. Always remember to stay loving and kind to the universe, tell everyone that you love and care for that you do before it's too late, and always learn that even though this one may not have been the one like you thought they would be, by being the kind and generous person you are and wishing them goodwill, you will be one step closer to finding that eternal happiness many people have found before.