From the start, my relationship has been long distance. Whenever I mention this to someone, I usually get a response of "ouch that's tough" or "I could never do that." And yes, at times the several hours that separate us do make me wish only to remove that space between us, but then I have to remember that there are others doing this from across the country and not merely across the state. This makes me realize our distance isn't so bad. Though it is difficult at times, I wouldn't trade our time together for anything, making the distance not as hard swallow. From these nearly two years in a long distance relationship (LDR), I feel we have learned a few ways to manage, and so far so good. With that here are a few of my tips on how to maintain a long distance relationship.
1. Have other interests besides your partner.
I think this goes without saying that in any relationship it is important to have different interests than your partner. Constantly being consumed with only what interests them, or thinking only about being with them will cause grief in a long distance relationship. Get involved in activities, organizations, and clubs. Have your own social life outside of them. This will help not only with not allowing you to dwell on the distance but in general benefit your life. Basically, don't let the relationship consume who you are.
2. Make time for Facetime (or Skype).
There is nothing better than actually being able to see each other's faces, especially when it has been a month or more. If actual face to face time cannot be accomplished video chatting offers the next best thing. Make time for these "dates" and actually talk to each other, not just via text or phone call. Seeing someone in actual time,with their facial expressions, and smile will help remind you why you are in the LDR in the first place.
3. Don't sweat the small stuff.
If you let every misunderstood text, slightly annoying comment, or anything else vaguely irritating about your partner get to you, the LDR will be impossible. Since there is little actual contact, things said via text can be misconstrued,and annoyances throughout your day can play out in your tone via text or phone call that may not have been purposeful, but can be hurtful. Thus, it is best to try and let these little annoyances not play out into actual fights, especially if they are about something that is not going to be important two hours later. Dwell on the good, not the bad, and remember that petty arguments are usually pointless.
4. Make your time together count.
When you are actually together, don't waste it. Do what makes you both happy together. Go out on dates to your favorite restaurants, watch your favorite shows together, do something new together, explore different places, and make memories that will be meaningful.
5. Know that it is okay to be sad sometimes.
Sometimes when you really miss your partner, know that it is okay to let yourself feel sad, or lonely. This is normal, and I guarantee that your partner feels the same way too. This being said, don't wallow in self pity about being in a relationship with someone who is far away, but embrace the good memories and move on. So, if you need to have a good cry do it, but don't let the sadness consume your life.
6. Be willing to voice your feelings and concerns.
If there are days that you feel disconnected from each other, don't ignore those feelings. If you let this continue the separation will only worsen. Talk to each other, voice those insecurities and try to come up with a solution. This may be as simple as talking more often, or as difficult as working on building trust. Either way, nothing is solved when both parties are silent on how they feel, especially since it could go completely unaware due to the distance.
7. Remember why you are in the LDR.
Always remember that you are committing to the LDR for love. Don't do it for obligation or security, but for true feelings for the other person. With this always in mind, any distance is worth it, if it means being apart of each other's lives.