Prior to starting college, I did this week-long leadership boot-camp type thing. At the end of this week-long boot-camp, I made a goal to achieve by the end of my freshmen year. When I made this goal seemed like it would be an easy one to complete, but in reality, it was the hardest and most-time consuming goal of my life.
This goal was hard to achieve, but the reward that came with achieving it was amazing. While trying to achieve this goal, I went through the ringer several times and I felt like I wasn’t ever going to achieve it. Well, one day after a date that didn’t happen because I got stood up, I realized that goal was achieved.
No, my goal was not to be stood up, my goal was to have a true and genuine friendship in college. There were many moments when I thought that this goal was accomplished with certain people, but after some time those people weren’t good people in my life and they left my life. All throughout my freshmen year, I was searching for that best friend that everyone around seemed to have found already.
It was depressing, and one day when I was feeling down, one of my friends said that it takes time to build that level of friendship. No true friendship comes from a 20-minute conversation, just because people look like they are best friends, doesn’t mean that they are behind the scenes. That friend that told me this advice is the person who I consider a best friend now.
We met at this “leadership boot-camp”, and then we started grabbing breakfast with two other people from this “boot-camp” in the fall semester. We started texting and getting close, then this semester we joined the same sorority. Our friendship continued to grow because we are into the same things.
This friendship took a long time to develop and flourish because we are both incredibly busy people. However, I still made an effort to keep in touch with her because I felt comfortable around her and she is one of the only people at college who I feel that level of comfort with. Also, whenever something good happened in my life she would be the first person from Delaware that I would text with the good news.
Then when I didn’t get an opportunity that I really wanted, she would be one of the first people I texted, and she would lift me up. She would give me this second-wind to continue putting myself out there for opportunities. This person is such an amazing person.
Throughout all of this, she was being this true friend and we were developing this friendship that I have been craving for forever. She was a true and genuine friend that had my back, and I wasn’t realizing it at the time. When I was writing my book, I would send it to her and she would comment on how good it is, making me feel good for writing it.
I’ve recently started to read my book, and I can tell you that it’s not that good. However, her being the good friend she is, she made me feel good for writing this book. This person makes me feel empowered and confident in the things I venture out to do.
Anyways, there was this fateful Friday night that I realized she was that friend I had been looking for. It took all year, but better late than ever. This also showed me that everything happens for a reason.
On one Friday night, I was supposed to go on a third date with a guy who I had been talking too on and off. We went on two dates before, life got really busy and we would talk here and there. He seemed wishy-washy and throughout the moments that we talked and saw each other, I was never confident that he interested in me.
This guy said he was, and even calling me girlfriend material one random night. Then he wouldn’t follow up with it, and it was this mind-game that I didn’t pay any attention to because I did not have the time to pay attention to his game. I was simply living my life just trying to manage it.
One day we saw each other after that time he called me girlfriend material, and I remembered how cute he was. We would send a text here and there, and one day I wanted to reconnect with him, so I asked him if he wanted to go on a date. He said a yes and we scheduled that date.
The day of the date is here, and I go to the place where we agree to meet. I texted him that I was there, and he never shows up. I got stood up, and I was feeling a lot of emotions. The place where we agreed to meet had a Dunkin Donuts in it, so I grab some coffee. Then I see some people from my sorority, I start talking to them and we began to laugh.
This was a great way to get my mind off of it. However, when I went back to my dorm I was really lost and kind of upset. I began texting my friend, and she’s angry at him.
I wasn’t there yet, I was more distraught and upset. No, my friend was pissed off, and it felt good that she was pissed off because, in the weirdest way possible, it made me feel better. Having someone be pissed off for you shows that they care about you, and that they don’t want to see you upset, that feels really good.
As this was happening, the boy texted me saying that he “just woke up” how convenient. I sent this to my friend, and we decided that I am going to leave this boy on read and that he was trying to make me a backup plan. I am sorry, what?
No girl should ever be a backup plan, we should be number one choices. All girls should be first choices and that’s a fact of life.
Anyways, this conversation turned from me sulking to be one of the most empowering conversations I have had in my entire life. All because of my friend, and that’s when I realized that this friendship was a true and genuine friendship. I have this girl’s back, and she has mine.
Realizing on a night when you get stood up is amazing because I am the person that values friendship over having a romantic relationship, and that night was the perfect example as to why. The good and true friends will stick around in the dark moments, and boys just can be really sucky at times.
To this friend, thank you for being my true friend. You’re a gem of a human being and I cannot wait to see the amazing you’re going to do with your life. Delaware is incredibly lucky to have you.