I Had One Goal In College And That Was To Make A Best Friend

I Had One Goal In College And That Was To Make A Best Friend

Darn right I achieved that goal, and this person is the best person ever.
315
views

Prior to starting college, I did this week-long leadership boot-camp type thing. At the end of this week-long boot-camp, I made a goal to achieve by the end of my freshmen year. When I made this goal seemed like it would be an easy one to complete, but in reality, it was the hardest and most-time consuming goal of my life.

This goal was hard to achieve, but the reward that came with achieving it was amazing. While trying to achieve this goal, I went through the ringer several times and I felt like I wasn’t ever going to achieve it. Well, one day after a date that didn’t happen because I got stood up, I realized that goal was achieved.

No, my goal was not to be stood up, my goal was to have a true and genuine friendship in college. There were many moments when I thought that this goal was accomplished with certain people, but after some time those people weren’t good people in my life and they left my life. All throughout my freshmen year, I was searching for that best friend that everyone around seemed to have found already.

It was depressing, and one day when I was feeling down, one of my friends said that it takes time to build that level of friendship. No true friendship comes from a 20-minute conversation, just because people look like they are best friends, doesn’t mean that they are behind the scenes. That friend that told me this advice is the person who I consider a best friend now.

We met at this “leadership boot-camp”, and then we started grabbing breakfast with two other people from this “boot-camp” in the fall semester. We started texting and getting close, then this semester we joined the same sorority. Our friendship continued to grow because we are into the same things.

This friendship took a long time to develop and flourish because we are both incredibly busy people. However, I still made an effort to keep in touch with her because I felt comfortable around her and she is one of the only people at college who I feel that level of comfort with. Also, whenever something good happened in my life she would be the first person from Delaware that I would text with the good news.

Then when I didn’t get an opportunity that I really wanted, she would be one of the first people I texted, and she would lift me up. She would give me this second-wind to continue putting myself out there for opportunities. This person is such an amazing person.

Throughout all of this, she was being this true friend and we were developing this friendship that I have been craving for forever. She was a true and genuine friend that had my back, and I wasn’t realizing it at the time. When I was writing my book, I would send it to her and she would comment on how good it is, making me feel good for writing it.

I’ve recently started to read my book, and I can tell you that it’s not that good. However, her being the good friend she is, she made me feel good for writing this book. This person makes me feel empowered and confident in the things I venture out to do.

Anyways, there was this fateful Friday night that I realized she was that friend I had been looking for. It took all year, but better late than ever. This also showed me that everything happens for a reason.

On one Friday night, I was supposed to go on a third date with a guy who I had been talking too on and off. We went on two dates before, life got really busy and we would talk here and there. He seemed wishy-washy and throughout the moments that we talked and saw each other, I was never confident that he interested in me.

This guy said he was, and even calling me girlfriend material one random night. Then he wouldn’t follow up with it, and it was this mind-game that I didn’t pay any attention to because I did not have the time to pay attention to his game. I was simply living my life just trying to manage it.

One day we saw each other after that time he called me girlfriend material, and I remembered how cute he was. We would send a text here and there, and one day I wanted to reconnect with him, so I asked him if he wanted to go on a date. He said a yes and we scheduled that date.

The day of the date is here, and I go to the place where we agree to meet. I texted him that I was there, and he never shows up. I got stood up, and I was feeling a lot of emotions. The place where we agreed to meet had a Dunkin Donuts in it, so I grab some coffee. Then I see some people from my sorority, I start talking to them and we began to laugh.

This was a great way to get my mind off of it. However, when I went back to my dorm I was really lost and kind of upset. I began texting my friend, and she’s angry at him.

I wasn’t there yet, I was more distraught and upset. No, my friend was pissed off, and it felt good that she was pissed off because, in the weirdest way possible, it made me feel better. Having someone be pissed off for you shows that they care about you, and that they don’t want to see you upset, that feels really good.

As this was happening, the boy texted me saying that he “just woke up” how convenient. I sent this to my friend, and we decided that I am going to leave this boy on read and that he was trying to make me a backup plan. I am sorry, what?

No girl should ever be a backup plan, we should be number one choices. All girls should be first choices and that’s a fact of life.

Anyways, this conversation turned from me sulking to be one of the most empowering conversations I have had in my entire life. All because of my friend, and that’s when I realized that this friendship was a true and genuine friendship. I have this girl’s back, and she has mine.

Realizing on a night when you get stood up is amazing because I am the person that values friendship over having a romantic relationship, and that night was the perfect example as to why. The good and true friends will stick around in the dark moments, and boys just can be really sucky at times.

To this friend, thank you for being my true friend. You’re a gem of a human being and I cannot wait to see the amazing you’re going to do with your life. Delaware is incredibly lucky to have you.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

Popular Right Now

4 reasons how Drake's New Album May Help Us Fight Mental Illness

Increasing Evidence Points to Music as a Potential Solution to the Mental Health Problem.

64944
views

Okay, You caught me!

I am NOT just talking about everybody's favorite actor-turned-rapper— or second, if you've seen Childish Gambino's "This is America" music video. Unfortunately, current research hasn't explored specific genres and artists. However, studies HAVE provided significant evidence in possibilities for music to treat mental health disorders. Now, before you say something that your parents would not be proud of, ask yourself if you can really blame me for wanting to get your attention. This is an urgent matter concerning each one of us. If we all face the truth, we could very well reach one step closer to solving one of society's biggest problems: Mental Health.

The Problem:

As our nation continues to bleed from tragedies like the horrific shooting that shattered the lives of 70 families whose loved ones just wanted to watch the "Dark Knight Rises" during its first hours of release, as well as the traumatic loss of seventeen misfortunate innocents to the complications of mental health disorders in the dear city of Parkland— a city mere hours from our very own community— it's impossible to deny the existence of mental illness. As many of us can already vouch, mental illness is much more common than what most would think: over 19 million adults in America suffer from a mental health disorder. Picture that: a population slightly less than that of Florida is plagued by hopelessness, isolation, and utter despair.

Disease in the form of depression holds millions of people prisoner, as anxieties instill crippling desperation and too many struggles with finding peace. This can be you. It could be your brother, your sister, your mother, your father, your cousin, your aunt, your uncle, your friend, your roommate, your fraternity brother, your sorority sister, your lab partner, or just your classmate that sits in the corner of the lecture hall with a head buried into a notebook that camouflages all emotion.

I hope we— the UCF community— understand the gravity of the problem, but it's clear that some still see mental illness as a disease that affects only a handful of "misfits" who "terrorize" our streets, while the numbers reveal more to the issue. In fact, 1 in 5 Americans suffers from a mental health disorder. The problem is so serious that suicide has risen to become the second-leading cause of death among 20 to 24-year-olds. While many continue to ask for more antidepressants and even the occasional "proper spanking," recent studies indicate increases in occurrence, such as one in depression from 5.9% in 2012 to 8.2% in 2015. So, clearly, none of that is working.

The Evidence:

If we really want to create a world where our children are free from the chains of mental illness, we need to think outside the box. Doctors and scientists won't really talk about this since it's still a growing field of research, but music has strong potential. We don't have any options at the moment, which means we need to change our mindset about music and to continue to explore its medicinal benefits. If you're still skeptical because of the title, then please consider these 4 pieces of solid evidence backed by scientific research:

1. Music has been proven to improve disorders like Parkinson's Disease.

Researchers sponsored by the National Institute of Health— the country's largest research agency— saw an improvement in the daily function of patients with Parkinson's Disease. This makes patients shake uncontrollably, which often prevents them from complete functionality. The disease is caused by a shortage of dopamine— a chemical your neurons, or brain cells, release; since music treats this shortage, there's an obvious ability to increase dopamine levels. As numerous studies connect dopamine shortages to mental illnesses like depression, addiction, and ADHD, someone could possibly use music's proven ability to increase dopamine levels to treat said problems.

2. Listening to the music has the potential to activate your brain's "reward center."

In 2013, Valorie Salimpoor and fellow researchers conducted a study that connected subjects' pleasure towards music to a specific part of the brain. This key structure, the nucleus accumbens, is the body's "reward center," which means all of you have experienced its magical powers. In fact, any time the brain detects a rewarding sensation— drinking ice-cold water after a five-mile run in sunny, humid Florida, eating that Taco Bell chalupa after a long happy hour at Knight's Library, and even consuming recreational drugs— this structure releases more of that fantastic dopamine. So, with further research into specifics, doctors may soon be prescribing your daily dose of tunes for your own health.

3. Listening to Music may be more effective than prescription anti-anxiety medication.

In 2013, Mona Lisa Chanda and Daniel J. Levitin— two accomplished doctors in psychology— reviewed a study wherein patients waiting to undergo surgery were given either anti-anxiety medications or music to listen to. The study took into account cortisol levels, which are used daily by healthcare professionals to gauge patient levels. This "stress hormone" was actually found to be lower in patients who listened to classical music rather those who took the recommended dose of prescription drugs. Sit there and think about that for a second: these patients actually felt more relaxed with something as simple as MUSIC than with chemicals that are made specifically to force patients into relaxation before surgery. Why pop a Xanax when you can just listen to Beethoven?

4. Music may release the chemicals that help you naturally relax and feel love.

Further studies continue to justify music's place in the medical world as results demonstrate increases in substances such as prolactin— a hormone that produces a relaxing sensation— as well as oxytocin— the substance that promotes warmth and happiness during a hug between mother and child. So this study basically showed us that music has the potential to actually make you feel the way you did when Mom or Dad would embrace you with the warmest hug you've ever felt.

The Future:

The evidence I present you with today is ultimately just a collection of individual situations where specific people found specific results. There are a lot of variables when it comes to any research study; therefore, data is never truly certain. We should take these findings as strong suggestions to a possible solution, but we must remember the possibility of failure in our search.

The neurochemistry behind the music and its medicinal properties is just beginning to unfold before the scientific community. In fact, extremely qualified scientists from the National Institute of Health— the organization that basically runs any important medical study in the United States— continue to remind us of the subject's youth with the constant use of "potential" behind any and all of their findings. Therefore, it's our responsibility as a community to look into this— not just that of the scientists at the National Institute of Health.

We're all surrounded by music. It's at the bars. It's in our ears during all-night sessions at the UCF library. It's keeping us awake through East Colonial traffic at 7:00 AM while hordes of students focus on their cell phone screens instead of the paved roads ahead. It's in the shoes we wear, the actions we take, and the words we say. IF YOU'RE READING THIS: it's accessible to you. So, don't be shy, and try to play with your Spotify account, or even just on YouTube, and gauge the power of music. As more and more of us see the light, we can promote the movement and carry on as more research comes out to support us.

Drop the bars, drop those addictive pills that destroy your body slowly, and pick up your headphones and press PLAY.

Just relax, close your eyes, smile, and live.

Cover Image Credit:

@champagnepapi

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

11 Encounters You Only Experience When You're 10 Years Older Than Your Siblings

No I'm not their mother, but I sure do I act like it.

151
views

I'm a 19 year old college student who has 3 younger siblings, all 3 being at least 10 years or more in difference to me. I have an (almost) 10 year old full sister named Gabby, a (newly) 4 year old half brother named Dylan, and lastly a 1.5 year old half sister named Marvell (yes, like the comics but with an extra "l").

My parents were married rather young, around my current age, but my dad remarried, and for the longest time I thought I'd be an only child. All this seems normal & reasonable with my situation in life; but God would only know what kind of things I, and many other like this, have to deal with and have learned. It's not as more offensive, as there's plenty worse in life than being accused of being too young.

With collective community talk and experience, here are 11 encounters siblings like me may have experienced in their lifetime with those little ones.

Related Content

Facebook Comments