I Had One Goal In College And That Was To Make A Best Friend

I Had One Goal In College And That Was To Make A Best Friend

Darn right I achieved that goal, and this person is the best person ever.
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Prior to starting college, I did this week-long leadership boot-camp type thing. At the end of this week-long boot-camp, I made a goal to achieve by the end of my freshmen year. When I made this goal seemed like it would be an easy one to complete, but in reality, it was the hardest and most-time consuming goal of my life.

This goal was hard to achieve, but the reward that came with achieving it was amazing. While trying to achieve this goal, I went through the ringer several times and I felt like I wasn’t ever going to achieve it. Well, one day after a date that didn’t happen because I got stood up, I realized that goal was achieved.

No, my goal was not to be stood up, my goal was to have a true and genuine friendship in college. There were many moments when I thought that this goal was accomplished with certain people, but after some time those people weren’t good people in my life and they left my life. All throughout my freshmen year, I was searching for that best friend that everyone around seemed to have found already.

It was depressing, and one day when I was feeling down, one of my friends said that it takes time to build that level of friendship. No true friendship comes from a 20-minute conversation, just because people look like they are best friends, doesn’t mean that they are behind the scenes. That friend that told me this advice is the person who I consider a best friend now.

We met at this “leadership boot-camp”, and then we started grabbing breakfast with two other people from this “boot-camp” in the fall semester. We started texting and getting close, then this semester we joined the same sorority. Our friendship continued to grow because we are into the same things.

This friendship took a long time to develop and flourish because we are both incredibly busy people. However, I still made an effort to keep in touch with her because I felt comfortable around her and she is one of the only people at college who I feel that level of comfort with. Also, whenever something good happened in my life she would be the first person from Delaware that I would text with the good news.

Then when I didn’t get an opportunity that I really wanted, she would be one of the first people I texted, and she would lift me up. She would give me this second-wind to continue putting myself out there for opportunities. This person is such an amazing person.

Throughout all of this, she was being this true friend and we were developing this friendship that I have been craving for forever. She was a true and genuine friend that had my back, and I wasn’t realizing it at the time. When I was writing my book, I would send it to her and she would comment on how good it is, making me feel good for writing it.

I’ve recently started to read my book, and I can tell you that it’s not that good. However, her being the good friend she is, she made me feel good for writing this book. This person makes me feel empowered and confident in the things I venture out to do.

Anyways, there was this fateful Friday night that I realized she was that friend I had been looking for. It took all year, but better late than ever. This also showed me that everything happens for a reason.

On one Friday night, I was supposed to go on a third date with a guy who I had been talking too on and off. We went on two dates before, life got really busy and we would talk here and there. He seemed wishy-washy and throughout the moments that we talked and saw each other, I was never confident that he interested in me.

This guy said he was, and even calling me girlfriend material one random night. Then he wouldn’t follow up with it, and it was this mind-game that I didn’t pay any attention to because I did not have the time to pay attention to his game. I was simply living my life just trying to manage it.

One day we saw each other after that time he called me girlfriend material, and I remembered how cute he was. We would send a text here and there, and one day I wanted to reconnect with him, so I asked him if he wanted to go on a date. He said a yes and we scheduled that date.

The day of the date is here, and I go to the place where we agree to meet. I texted him that I was there, and he never shows up. I got stood up, and I was feeling a lot of emotions. The place where we agreed to meet had a Dunkin Donuts in it, so I grab some coffee. Then I see some people from my sorority, I start talking to them and we began to laugh.

This was a great way to get my mind off of it. However, when I went back to my dorm I was really lost and kind of upset. I began texting my friend, and she’s angry at him.

I wasn’t there yet, I was more distraught and upset. No, my friend was pissed off, and it felt good that she was pissed off because, in the weirdest way possible, it made me feel better. Having someone be pissed off for you shows that they care about you, and that they don’t want to see you upset, that feels really good.

As this was happening, the boy texted me saying that he “just woke up” how convenient. I sent this to my friend, and we decided that I am going to leave this boy on read and that he was trying to make me a backup plan. I am sorry, what?

No girl should ever be a backup plan, we should be number one choices. All girls should be first choices and that’s a fact of life.

Anyways, this conversation turned from me sulking to be one of the most empowering conversations I have had in my entire life. All because of my friend, and that’s when I realized that this friendship was a true and genuine friendship. I have this girl’s back, and she has mine.

Realizing on a night when you get stood up is amazing because I am the person that values friendship over having a romantic relationship, and that night was the perfect example as to why. The good and true friends will stick around in the dark moments, and boys just can be really sucky at times.

To this friend, thank you for being my true friend. You’re a gem of a human being and I cannot wait to see the amazing you’re going to do with your life. Delaware is incredibly lucky to have you.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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To All Incoming Freshmen, When You Get To College, Please Don't Be THAT Freshman

I am pretty sure we all know who I'm talking about.

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As we are all counting down the days to return to campus, students are looking forward to meeting new people and reuniting with old friends. And then, there is the freshman.

We have all been there. The eagerness and excitement have been slowly building up through months of summer vacation, all waiting for this moment. I understand the anxiousness, enthusiasm, and insecurities. The opportunity to meet new people and explore a new area is very intriguing. But let's be real, you are here to make memories and get an education. So here are a few pieces of advice from a former college freshman.

1. Don't be that freshman who follows their significant other to college

This is the boy or girl who simply can not think for themselves. The 17-year-old puts their own personal goals and interests aside to sacrifice for a six-month high school relationship. This will more than likely end at an end of semester transfer after the relationship has been tested for a month or two in college life. So if you want to really enjoy your freshman year, make your own decisions and do what is best for you.

2. Don't be that freshman who lets their parents pick their major

"You are not going to school just to waste my money."

This is a statement you might have heard from your parents. As true as it might seem, this is definitely not a good way to start your college years. If you are not majoring in something you can see yourself doing, you are wasting your time. You can major in biology, go to medical school, and make the best grades. But if deep down you don't want to be a doctor, you will NOT end up being a good doctor. When it comes to picking your major, you really have to follow your heart.

3. Don't be that freshman who gets overwhelmed with the first taste of freedom

Yes. It is all very exciting. You don't have a curfew, you don't have rules, you don't have anyone constantly nagging you, but let's not get carried away. Don't be the freshman who gets a tattoo on the first night of living on your own. Don't be the freshman who tries to drink every liquor behind the bar. Don't be the freshman who gets caught up being someone that they aren't. My best advice would be to take things slow.

4. Don't be that freshman who starts school isolated in a relationship

I'm not telling you not to date anyone during your freshman year. I am saying to not cut yourself off from the rest of the world while you date someone. Your first year on campus is such an amazing opportunity to meet people, but people are constantly eager to start dating someone and then only spend time with that person.

Be the freshman who can manage time between friends and relationships.

5. Don't be that freshman who can't handle things on their own

It is your first year on your own. Yes, you still need help from your parents. But at this point, they should not be ordering your textbooks or buying your parking pass. If you need something for a club or for class, YOU should handle it. If you're having roommate problems, YOU should handle it, not your parents. This is the real world and college is a great time for you to start building up to be the person you want to be in the future, but you can't successfully do that if your parents still deal with every minor inconvenience for you.

6. Don't be that freshman who only talks to their high school friends

I know your high school was probably amazing, and you probably had the coolest people go there. However, I believe that college is a great time to be on your own and experience new things. Meeting new people and going to new places will allow you to grow into a more mature person. There is a way to balance meeting new friends and maintaining friendships with childhood friends, and I am sure you will find that balance.

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An Open Letter To My Youngest Self

From, the young adult finding comfort in the past while lost in the present.

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Dear future big person,

Speaking from experience, the world is a crazy place. It's sad, yet exciting to know what the future holds for you. The world has been taken over by devices and electronics most never thought were possible.

If you're wondering why I'm writing to you, it's because I care a lot more now than I did back when I was you. I'm your Marty McFly, here to tell you how to prepare for the future. (Don't ask me what that reference is –you figure it out!).

For starters, let's talk about this technology thing. Gameboys, Nintendo DS', Wiis, Xboxes –don't mess with them. Television is fine –if the people from the Cold War survived it, we can, too. I want you to spend time enjoying the real world, not the electronic, fake one.

I want you to go outside and sit in the grass, pick those dandelions and mash them up into "paint." Paint mom something nice and maybe go for a bike ride with dad. Catch lightning bugs at dusk and bottle them all up in a mason jar. Eventually, let them free, all together.

Your brother is gross and weird, but he actually turns out to be a pretty cool kid. You don't have to be all mushy with him, but be sure he knows you love him. After all, he is family.

Make friends in the neighborhood, even if they are boys. So what? Challenge them. Race them on your bike with awesome purple and white streamers drifting from the handlebars. Push hard, through the soles of your Sketchers covered feet.

Pick up a piece of chalk and create a world of your own world with 3,000 Toys R Us stores, one police station, and only a few stop signs. Create and color your own flowers, whether they actually exist or not. Let your imagination run wild!

Turn on the radio and dance like crazy! Scream the lyrics to Smashmouth's "All Star" and Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape." Change the station every now and then to hear something new; it's always interesting to see your reactions to these interesting creations.

I want you to wear what you feel like and don't care what the others say about you. If you want to wear your purple dress-up shoes with your matching purse and hat, then do it. If you want to wear a Hula skirt in the dead of winter, do it (but please bring some leggings so mom doesn't flip out). If you want to wear those bedazzled jeans, then rock 'em.

If you're wondering why I'm telling you to do these silly things, it's only because we lost these traits along the way. I don't want you to miss the experiences that only come from the natural world because you had your head stuck in a tablet; it will all pass you in the blink of an eye.

I don't want you to ever feel trapped inside your house, no matter the weather. There is always a way out.

Don't let other people stop you from getting something you want. Don't let them intimidate you or talk you out of something you are passionate about.

Your friends will be the people you escape to when the house seems inescapable. Treat them the way you would like to be treated.

Your imagination is one of the greatest gifts you'll ever have. It drives you –your hopes and dreams, your wishes in the fountain and your kisses to the dandelions. Don't ever stop chasing them.

Always, always do what you want to do. You sing karaoke to that super catchy song because you know you'll kill it. Wear what you want however you want because you know that you look good in some strange way. (As long as you're not naked, that is). Stubbornness is good.

Your family will always be your family. What they do affects you, and vice versa. Bring them good, positive news. They don't need any more trouble.

Stand up for yourself, for your friends and family, for your beliefs and wishes. Be proud of the work you do and the life you live. Many people around you wish they could have lived like you did.

Most importantly, do not let your past define your future. A lot of things will happen, some of which may or may not go horribly wrong. There is nothing you can do to stop these things, except hope. You can always change for the better as long as you don't look back. Be proud of your past, but be known for your future –whatever you want that to be.

Please, promise me these things. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to never lose these traits –hold them tightly and never release them. I can't tell you how this life is going to go, because that simply isn't the way this world works. Just breathe through it and listen to your gut –that's the future guiding you.

I, and many others, love you –your character, your curls, your studded jeans,your pink Power Ranger costume, your Hello Kitty backpack, and your goofy smile.

Don't ever forget that.

With love,

The Girl Who Is Lost And Trying To Turn Back Time.

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