Think back to playing recreational soccer or baseball as a kid. You maybe had one or two practices a week, games on Saturday, and at the end of the season, your coach would hand out trophies to the team. There might have been a few "MVP" and "Most Improved" trophies awarded, but for the most part, everyone got something. Everyone was a winner and no one felt left out.

Participation trophies may seem like a good idea on the surface, but the kind of values taught by trophy culture promote entitlement to success simply by showing up.

I think this same sense of entitlement is affecting how my generation -- the millennials -- see and perceive success and failure. When we all got a trophy for "doing our best," we became accustomed to the idea that we were each special and perfect in our own way. We don’t have to work hard to be rewarded.

Now, I can’t speak to the entire spectrum of millennials, and sure, saying that as a generation we feel more entitled than most is a sweeping generalization. But the everyone-gets-a-trophy culture is supposedly pervasive among millennials, who have become accustomed to being told they're right, righteous and victorious all the time by their parents, friends or social media.

We need to be certain that we will get a “trophy” before we jump into new things or take risks. Failure – or the idea of not being recognized for your contribution, however small – could be seen as catastrophic or unacceptable. Thus, external measurements of success (trophies, report cards, gold stars, etc.) are more important than autonomous development and learning healthy self-confidence.

Of course we all want to be valued and told we have worth, but when I tell a child that "trying your best is all that matters," I know this is a lie. I know this is a lie because what we all really hear when someone says that is, “You’re a fantastic individual, not because you did anything, but because you are here.” So work at whatever pace is comfortable, put in minimal effort, because no worries, we will all get a trophy in the end!

Participation trophies are just one small example of ego inflation in our culture – these same practices can be seen at school and at home. We are phony advocates – myself included – for the idea we are all equal and deserve to get the dream job, promotion or happily-ever-after just by "participating." Although all people do deserve these things, you won’t get them just by existing.

Learn resilience and learn to lose. If you are only focused on chasing trophies, you’ll miss out on the best parts of the game.