Girls, Stop Hitting Your Boyfriends
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Girls, Stop Hitting Your Boyfriends

Abuse is abuse, no matter where it comes from.

1310
Girls, Stop Hitting Your Boyfriends
Pixabay

Like many women today, I consider myself a feminist. I acknowledge that there are many issues with the feminist movement today, but I still believe in the overall goal: equality between the sexes. That being said, this equality can often get lost in translation. While many feminists focus on the many problems facing women, we don't often recognize the consequence the war on femininity can have on men and their masculinity. When it comes to abuse, especially physical abuse, men are often left out of the conversation, but I think it is time we discuss both sides of the story:

A video recently resurfaced due to Twitter this week, with a rather controversial topic. In an episode from 2014, the ladies of "The View" discussed comments made by Stephen A Smith regarding a domestic violence case involving NFL player Ray Rice and his fiance, Janay Palmer. Stephen had said that, even though a man should never put his hands on a woman, women should "make sure [they] don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions." While most of "The View" panel agreed that Smith's comments would be considered victim blaming, Whoopi Goldberg came to Smith's defense: "If you make the choice as a woman who's 4 foot 3 and you decide to hit a guy who's 6 foot and you're the last thing he wants to deal with that day and he hits you back, you cannot be surprised!" Goldberg's comments were met with a mix of applause from the audience and angry retorts from her fellow panel members, who accused her of also blaming the victim. Rice's actions cannot in ANY way be justified, but Goldberg brings to light an important issue in gender politics that is rarely discussed, even among feminists: Why do we so often turn a blind eye to violence against men when it is perpetrated by a woman?

When you start to look for it, you'll see it everywhere. Women slapping their boyfriends when they are in a heated argument, teenage girls invading their guy friends personal space by pushing or kicking them in a "playful way." You can see it in movies, on street corners, and even in workplaces. Why is a woman hitting a man so normal in our society, especially when the opposite is so taboo?

Many people excuse this normalization by stating that men are the stronger sex, and therefore should be able to take a hit from a woman without retaliation. Even the ladies of the View responded to Whoopi Goldberg's comments by saying that it is never okay for a man to hit a woman unless his life is in danger. It is true that the average man is physically stronger than the average women, but giving all women a pass to abuse men because of this is ridiculous.

We no longer live a time when all women do is sit at home while men go off to war or do manual labor. We have women who are incredible athletes, soldiers, and even MMA fighters. Millennial women, on average, are much stronger than their mothers, and if the trend of female empowerment continues, it is possible that we could see the physical gap between men and women shrink even more (or become non-existent) in the future. Putting aside futuristic equality, women of today are just as capable as men of handling themselves and their physicality. Excusing violence inflicted on men by women is not only misogynistic, but is also incredibly harmful to the well-being of men in our society.

It starts from a very young age. Little boys are told that they should never hit a woman, but are encouraged to be physical with their brothers and male friends. Little girls are taught to be dainty and polite, but if a boy does you wrong, girl, you have every right to kick his ass! I am all for women defending themselves, but the punishment should fit the crime. If a man is attacking a girl, by all means, fight back! But why do we condone women slapping men when they upset them when a man doing the same thing is considered abuse? By enforcing this rule that men shouldn't hit women under any circumstances, our society is excusing abuse. Sure, if a small, 4-foot woman slapped a man, it may not hurt him physically, but it does take an emotional toll. Today, it might be a slap or a punch on the arm, but tomorrow it could be pressuring him into sex, manipulating his free will, or making him feel worthless in other ways. As much as our society likes to pretend they don't, men DO have feelings, and those feelings are valid. Just because a woman does not pose a physical threat to a man, does not mean she cannot abuse him. Men should be taught from a young age that they have every right to stand up for themselves in their relationships with women. Violence may not be the answer, but men have every right to walk away from abusive relationships. Just because you can take a hit, doesn't mean that you should.

On the other hand, allowing women to hit men diminishes our power in society as well. "You hit like a girl" is a common phrase used to shame both men and women for a lack of strength. Being beat by a girl in any type of contest constitutes shame, no matter how physically strong or capable the woman who won might be. Women are not seen as a serious threat, and this can be a great detriment to women in throughout their lives. Women grow up thinking they are not as capable as men, and this can create a lack of confidence in school, relationships, and the workplace. Girls who hit puberty are even taught that being strong is undesirable for a girl. This leads to the dropout rate of girls in sports to be six times that of boys. With modern feminism and increased representation, we are seeing progress, but we still have a long way to go. Encouraging girls to reach their full potential without enforcing the idea that they are good "for a girl" will help ensure that women do not think of themselves as less than their male peers.

We should regard men and women as equals, even sometimes as equally harmful, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Giving women a free pass to physically assault their boyfriends/husbands, however harmless it may seem, is overall harmful to both parties involved. So teach men and women that violence is not the answer, except for in self-defense. Treating men and women as equally harmful and equally vulnerable to abuse will go a long way in ending domestic violence and ensuring that our society moves forward compassionately towards equality.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

46342
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

29359
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

953678
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

162506
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments