15 Things Every Girl Needs To Forgive Herself For By 20

15 Things Every Girl Needs To Forgive Herself For By 20

"Amor Fati"
6704
views

Whether you are 15 or 55, you are never to young nor too old to accept and move on from the mistakes you have made in life.

Although I am only 19 years old, I don't believe that learning about life needs to come from someone who has years and years of experience. We have something to learn from everyone, even from children who have the purest of hearts.

Everyone experiences life differently but we all have one thing in common: the reality that not one single person on this earth is perfect and it's time you forgave yourself for believing against these odds.

1. Thinking you are not good enough.

Let me be the first to tell you, that you ARE good enough. There is always going to be someone prettier, skinnier, richer, or smarter. So stop comparing yourself to the next girl and learn to love what you have to offer to this world. Anyone who does not see this does not deserve to be in your life. Boy bye.

2. Not being as "successful" as you hoped

If you succeeded at everything you did then you could never learn from your mistakes. Failure is meant to be a part of lives because here is where we learn the most valuable lessons. It’s what teaches us to get back up after being knocked down, it makes us grow thick skin, which trust me, you’re going to need in this world.

3. Letting someone else dictate your decisions

Whether this decision is what color to dye your hair or if you should go out tonight, do what makes you happy. We cannot live to please others because then we will never be pleased with ourselves. Do what makes you happy, and again, if someone can’t deal with that then they don’t deserve to be in your life.

4. Eating that cookie

I promise if you eat the cookie, it will not kill you. Stop stressing over the weight you didn’t lose and the calories you ate that day. Don’t beat yourself up about “breaking your diet.” I promise you eating that cookie or you eating a piece of celery did not change your weight loss journey. Just be satisfied with you and eat the damn cookie.

5. Being lazy when you shouldn’t have

We have all been there. Lying in bed binge watching Netflix instead of doing our work or cleaning the house. It’s OK to be lazy sometimes. If you are a constant work robot that never gets a break, I promise you will lose your mind. It’s all about balance. Let yourself be lazy sometimes, it is good for the soul, even if that means putting in a little extra work later on.

6. All the things you "regret"

You regret that time you decided to stay in instead of going out and you have regret that time you went out and probably should’ve stayed in. Life will always be full of regret and missed opportunities but this is in the past and there is no reason to ponder on them anymore. It is time you stop asking “What if?” and learn from your mistakes instead of regretting them.

7. Opening up to someone who ends up letting you down

Opening up to someone can be extremely scary. So, when you finally do but get shot down by someone you care about, don’t have the “I’m never doing that again” mentality. Instead, learn and grow from the experience. Don’t beat yourself up for putting yourself in a position to get hurt. Don’t look for vengeance and don’t stay angry. Let it go and let yourself move on to be happy.

8. Being emotional

We’ve all been there. Maybe we were a little dramatic or maybe we overreacted. Never feel bad for the way you feel. It is ok to cry sometimes and to let people see you be weak. Being emotional is a part of human nature and you have to let yourself be ok with that. Sometimes a good cry or a good scream can be a cure all in itself.

9. Being someone’s second choice

We aren’t always going to be everyone’s first choice. Do not beat yourself up because you weren’t on the top of the list. Don’t sit on the fact that someone else was better. Anyone who sees you as their last choice deserves to be your last choice as well. Accept and move on to people who know you deserve to be number one, these are the people who should be YOUR first choice.

10. Wanting to be alone

Everyone needs time to them self. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to stay in and read good book instead of getting drinks with your friends. Being alone allows us to recognize our thoughts and gives us time to think without distraction. Of course, not all the time but every now and then you SHOULD make time for yourself and that is perfectly ok.

11. The relationships that didn’t last

Amor fati, its Latin for love your fate. In other words, everything happens for a reason. If the relationship didn’t last, it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. You have to accept that it wasn’t meant to be. Whether it’s a friendship or a love relationship, not every one of them were made to last. Some people come into our lives to teach us something or to make us chase our dreams and it's ok that they don’t stay because better things are ahead.

12. Spending your money on wants instead of needs

We may spend $50 on a pair of jeans instead of groceries, which will leave us eating off the dollar menu for a couple of day, but sometimes materialistic items make us feel good. If those $50 jeans are going to do that, then embrace it. I promise you will work the $50 off and in a few weeks, it won’t even matter that you spent that money. So, who cares, do what makes you happy.

13. That extremely embarrassing thing you did

You have done 100 embarrassing things in the past and chances are you will do 100 more in the future, but that’s life. Don’t stress over the fact that you tripped on the sidewalk on the first date or that you had spinach in your teeth while talking to your boss. We have all been there and if you can’t laugh at yourself then who can?

14. Taking a little too long to get over that f*ck boy

They say time is the only healer. Whether it takes you 5 days or 5 years, I promise you will get over him. Don’t feel guilty because Susan got over her ex in 5 minutes and is on to the next. We all heal differently and some of us may take more time than others. Just let time do its job and don’t get worked up over it or try to force yourself into something you don’t want.

15. Your future mistakes

You have made 1,000 mistakes in your life before and spoiler alert: you will make 1,000 more. You will never live a flawless life and once you learn to accept that, you can live a happier life. It is important to accept the mistakes we will further make. Instead of getting angry, learn to move on because it is a part of this wonderful thing we call life.

Cover Image Credit: Casey Beth Lepkowsky

Popular Right Now

A Playlist From The iPod Of A Middle Schooler In 2007

I will always love you, Akon.
73412
views

Something happened today that I never thought in a million years would happen. I opened up a drawer at my parents' house and I found my pink, 4th generation iPod Nano. I had not seen this thing since I graduated from the 8th grade, and the headphones have not left my ears since I pulled it out of that drawer. It's funny to me how music can take you back. You listen to a song and suddenly you're wearing a pair of gauchos, sitting on the bleachers in a gym somewhere, avoiding boys at all cost at your seventh grade dance. So if you were around in 2007 and feel like reminiscing, here is a playlist straight from the iPod of a middle schooler in 2007.

1. "Bad Day" — Daniel Powter

2. "Hips Don't Lie" — Shakira ft. Wyclef Jean

SEE ALSO: 23 Iconic Disney Channel Moments We Will Never Forget

3. "Unwritten" — Natasha Bedingfield

4. "Run It!" — Chris Brown

5. "Girlfriend" — Avril Lavigne

6. "Move Along" — All-American Rejects

7. "Fergalicious" — Fergie

8. "Every Time We Touch" — Cascada

9. "Ms. New Booty" — Bubba Sparxxx

10. "Chain Hang Low" — Jibbs

11. "Smack That" — Akon ft. Eminem

12. "Waiting on the World to Change" — John Mayer

13. "Stupid Girls" — Pink

14. "Irreplaceable" — Beyonce

15. "Umbrella" — Rihanna ft. Jay-Z

16. "Don't Matter" — Akon

17. "Party Like A Rockstar" — Shop Boyz

18. "This Is Why I'm Hot" — Mims

19. "Beautiful Girls" — Sean Kingston

20. "Bartender" — T-Pain

21. "Pop, Lock and Drop It" — Huey

22. "Wait For You" — Elliot Yamin

23. "Lips Of An Angel" — Hinder

24. "Face Down" — Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

25. "Chasing Cars" — Snow Patrol

26. "No One" — Alicia Keys

27. "Cyclone" — Baby Bash ft. T-Pain

28. "Crank That" — Soulja Boy

29. "Kiss Kiss" — Chris Brown

SEE ALSO: 20 Of The Best 2000's Tunes We Still Know Every Word To

30. "Lip Gloss" — Lil' Mama

Cover Image Credit: http://nd01.jxs.cz/368/634/c6501cc7f9_18850334_o2.jpg

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

12 Interactions Servers HATE As Much As Being Asked If They're Single By Their Customers

Chances are, I'm not actually interested in anything you have to say. What would you like to drink?

837
views

I've worked in a restaurant for about 4 years now, mostly during the summers, but occasionally I will go home on the weekends to pick up a few shifts or see the staff. Working in a restaurant has taught me that I love working with the public, but I also hate working with the public.

You learn patience and you learn to let things go because in the midst of having an 8 top, being double sat, arguing with the kitchen over grill chicken for a salad, and having a customer upset because you forgot to bring them their third side of ranch, something is bound to go wrong.

Chances are unless you've worked in a restaurant before, most of them won't make any sense to you, but here are a few things that servers hate when you ask or talk about and how we actually react versus what we wish we could say.

1. Which is colder? Bottle or draft?

Drunk Beer GIF by Bayerischer Rundfunk - Find & Share on GIPHY Giphy

What I say: "They are actually in the same cooler, so our bottles and drafts are about the same temperature. It's really whichever you prefer."

What I want to say: "I hate when people like you ask this. Honestly, dude, it's hot outside and it's a pretty day and I want a cold beer just as bad as you do. I promise I'm going to bring you the coldest beer I can find. So, bottle or draft?"

2. I want the appetizer to come out before the meal.

Giphy

What I say: "Of course. I'll put it in before your order and do everything I can to get it out as soon as possible!"

What I want to say: "Don't we all, but considering you ordered you an appetizer and your meal at the same time and the kitchen is swamped, good luck with that. I'll be sure to bring you appetizer plates and napkins in a few minutes to make you think it will be out soon."

3. What's your favorite thing on the menu?

Giphy

What I say: "Oh grilled shrimp for sure and our mac and cheese is amazing, but our sandwiches are good as well! There's not really much you can go wrong with on our menu."

What I want to say: "Honestly, I eat this food all the time and I'm probably going to beg the kitchen to cook me anything that's NOT on this menu as soon as my tables leaves so I'm just going to recommend one of the most expensive items and probably eat chicken tenders when I get off because I have the taste buds on an 8 year old."

4. Can I get a cup of soup? Actually, make it a bowl! I'm really hungry!

Giphy

What I say: "Absolutely, our soup is homemade and it really good. You'll definitely be glad you got that bowl."

What I want to say: "Did you know that a cup and a bowl literally hold the same amount of soup but you're paying a dollar more? HAHAHAHA. More tip for me. Thank you, next."

5. Oh, we are going to need lots of ranch. We love ranch. Your ranch is the best. RANCH.

Giphy

What I say: "Oh, I'm the same way. I love our ranch and I'll be sure to bring a few out before your meal."

What I want to say: "Did you know our ranch is literally made in 5-gallon buckets and I have no problem being a sarcastic ass and sitting the entire bucket on your table if your talk about our ranch one more time. Or maybe I'll be really mean and accidentally 'forget' to bring you some."

6. I know the owners.  Are they here?

Giphy

What I say: "Oh yeah. They are good people! They aren't here right now but I saw them earlier, I'll be sure to mention that you asked about them!"

What I want to say: "Really? Me too. No, they aren't here because they don't really work here, they basically just make money off of people like you and me. Oh, and when I say they were here earlier, they were really just having a beer, not actually working."

7. Your eyelashes are so long! 

Giphy

Maybe this one is a little specific to me but I hear it way more than you would think.

What I say: "Awww, thank you so much" *batts eyes*

What I want to say: "Wow, I'm surprised you noticed through the sweat dripping off my brow. I feel forced to do my makeup for every shift because the tips are better when I look cute."

8. Oh honey, you are so pretty.  Do you have a boyfriend?

Giphy

What I say: Well thank you and no, I'm single. What can I start you guys with to drink?"

What I want to say: "Thanks a milly but I'm just trying to take your order so I can go stand in the walk-in because it's so hot and no, I do not want you to hook me up with your 30-year-old son who probably lives in your basement. What. Do. You. Want. To. Drink?"

9. What time do you get off?

Giphy

What I say: "We normally stop seating at 10 but the bars are open until 2 so I'll be here a little while."

What I want to say: "Are you asking because you want to wait until the last minute to order food or because you want to buy me a drink after because my answers are going to be very different depending but honestly I just want you to get up from my table."

10. Your accent! Where are you from?

Giphy

What I say: "I'm actually from here. I grew up about 30 minutes from here."

What I want to say: "I know I sound like a hick but I'm actually from here, you Yank. Maybe I can use my southern belle accent to charm you into leaving me a better tip."

11. You're really tall and you've got some nice legs.

Giphy

This one's also pretty specific to me.

What I say: "Haha, yeah", I say awkwardly as I squeeze out a smile.

What I want to say: "Thanks for commenting on my body. Yes, I played basketball. Yes, I lift weights. Yes, my thighs are thick, you should see how chaffed they are from running around this restaurant and waiting on pigs like you. Thank you for making this awkward."

12. Honey, can you wipe this table off for us?

Giphy

What I say: "Absolutely, give me just one second to drop this check off and I'll be back to wipe it down."

What I want to say: "Or better yet, you can just sit there in filth for a few minutes since you walked passed the 4 signs that say, "please wait to be seated" and the host herself to seat yourself and I'm not even your server. If you think that table is dirty, you should see the kitchen floor after a Saturday dinner shift. You can wait. And don't you dare ask me for menus and silver wear."

Honestly, servers are some of the sassiest people you will ever meet. They have to deal with rude customers and even worse, they have to deal with co-workers that have to deal with rude customers.

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy being a server, it's probably my favorite job ever, but it can be quite the headache sometimes. Occasionally you will meet a customer that is genuinely interested in you but more than likely they are just wasting your time to try and make conversation in hopes to get on your good side or to try and get something for free.

I promise that I will do the very best I can to serve you and give you a pleasant dining experience. I will assure you that as long as you cooperate with me, I will cooperate with you.

Related Content

Facebook Comments