15 Things Every Girl Needs To Forgive Herself For By 20

15 Things Every Girl Needs To Forgive Herself For By 20

"Amor Fati"

Whether you are 15 or 55, you are never to young nor too old to accept and move on from the mistakes you have made in life.

Although I am only 19 years old, I don't believe that learning about life needs to come from someone who has years and years of experience. We have something to learn from everyone, even from children who have the purest of hearts.

Everyone experiences life differently but we all have one thing in common: the reality that not one single person on this earth is perfect and it's time you forgave yourself for believing against these odds.

1. Thinking you are not good enough.

Let me be the first to tell you, that you ARE good enough. There is always going to be someone prettier, skinnier, richer, or smarter. So stop comparing yourself to the next girl and learn to love what you have to offer to this world. Anyone who does not see this does not deserve to be in your life. Boy bye.

2. Not being as "successful" as you hoped

If you succeeded at everything you did then you could never learn from your mistakes. Failure is meant to be a part of lives because here is where we learn the most valuable lessons. It’s what teaches us to get back up after being knocked down, it makes us grow thick skin, which trust me, you’re going to need in this world.

3. Letting someone else dictate your decisions

Whether this decision is what color to dye your hair or if you should go out tonight, do what makes you happy. We cannot live to please others because then we will never be pleased with ourselves. Do what makes you happy, and again, if someone can’t deal with that then they don’t deserve to be in your life.

4. Eating that cookie

I promise if you eat the cookie, it will not kill you. Stop stressing over the weight you didn’t lose and the calories you ate that day. Don’t beat yourself up about “breaking your diet.” I promise you eating that cookie or you eating a piece of celery did not change your weight loss journey. Just be satisfied with you and eat the damn cookie.

5. Being lazy when you shouldn’t have

We have all been there. Lying in bed binge watching Netflix instead of doing our work or cleaning the house. It’s OK to be lazy sometimes. If you are a constant work robot that never gets a break, I promise you will lose your mind. It’s all about balance. Let yourself be lazy sometimes, it is good for the soul, even if that means putting in a little extra work later on.

6. All the things you "regret"

You regret that time you decided to stay in instead of going out and you have regret that time you went out and probably should’ve stayed in. Life will always be full of regret and missed opportunities but this is in the past and there is no reason to ponder on them anymore. It is time you stop asking “What if?” and learn from your mistakes instead of regretting them.

7. Opening up to someone who ends up letting you down

Opening up to someone can be extremely scary. So, when you finally do but get shot down by someone you care about, don’t have the “I’m never doing that again” mentality. Instead, learn and grow from the experience. Don’t beat yourself up for putting yourself in a position to get hurt. Don’t look for vengeance and don’t stay angry. Let it go and let yourself move on to be happy.

8. Being emotional

We’ve all been there. Maybe we were a little dramatic or maybe we overreacted. Never feel bad for the way you feel. It is ok to cry sometimes and to let people see you be weak. Being emotional is a part of human nature and you have to let yourself be ok with that. Sometimes a good cry or a good scream can be a cure all in itself.

9. Being someone’s second choice

We aren’t always going to be everyone’s first choice. Do not beat yourself up because you weren’t on the top of the list. Don’t sit on the fact that someone else was better. Anyone who sees you as their last choice deserves to be your last choice as well. Accept and move on to people who know you deserve to be number one, these are the people who should be YOUR first choice.

10. Wanting to be alone

Everyone needs time to them self. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to stay in and read good book instead of getting drinks with your friends. Being alone allows us to recognize our thoughts and gives us time to think without distraction. Of course, not all the time but every now and then you SHOULD make time for yourself and that is perfectly ok.

11. The relationships that didn’t last

Amor fati, its Latin for love your fate. In other words, everything happens for a reason. If the relationship didn’t last, it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. You have to accept that it wasn’t meant to be. Whether it’s a friendship or a love relationship, not every one of them were made to last. Some people come into our lives to teach us something or to make us chase our dreams and it's ok that they don’t stay because better things are ahead.

12. Spending your money on wants instead of needs

We may spend $50 on a pair of jeans instead of groceries, which will leave us eating off the dollar menu for a couple of day, but sometimes materialistic items make us feel good. If those $50 jeans are going to do that, then embrace it. I promise you will work the $50 off and in a few weeks, it won’t even matter that you spent that money. So, who cares, do what makes you happy.

13. That extremely embarrassing thing you did

You have done 100 embarrassing things in the past and chances are you will do 100 more in the future, but that’s life. Don’t stress over the fact that you tripped on the sidewalk on the first date or that you had spinach in your teeth while talking to your boss. We have all been there and if you can’t laugh at yourself then who can?

14. Taking a little too long to get over that f*ck boy

They say time is the only healer. Whether it takes you 5 days or 5 years, I promise you will get over him. Don’t feel guilty because Susan got over her ex in 5 minutes and is on to the next. We all heal differently and some of us may take more time than others. Just let time do its job and don’t get worked up over it or try to force yourself into something you don’t want.

15. Your future mistakes

You have made 1,000 mistakes in your life before and spoiler alert: you will make 1,000 more. You will never live a flawless life and once you learn to accept that, you can live a happier life. It is important to accept the mistakes we will further make. Instead of getting angry, learn to move on because it is a part of this wonderful thing we call life.

Cover Image Credit: Casey Beth Lepkowsky

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.


When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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Cavaliers Nab National Championship After Heartbreak

"If you learn to use it right, the adversity, it will buy you a ticket to a place you couldn't have gone any other way." — UVA Coach Tony Bennet


One year and 23 days is all it took for the University of Virginia Men's Basketball team to earn a glorious redemption. The journey along the way was accompanied by many tears, heartache, dedication, hard work, and amazing coaching.

After a devastating loss to a number 16 seed team, UMBC, just over a year ago, the UVA Men's Basketball team took a hard hit; and not just from their pride and spirit from such a devastating loss, but also from the outside world. They became the first number one seed to lose to a number 16 seed in NCAA history. In a 'Sports Illustrated' article done by Andy Staples, he wrote a moving piece on Kyle Guy, Virginia's point guard. Guy became the face of the loss due to the image of him hanging his head in shame, while UMBC celebrates their victory on the court. After this image became viral, Guy became the face for Virginia's historical and upsetting loss. In the article, he expressed how this loss affected him and his teammates in more ways than one. He addressed his struggles with anxiety, especially after such a major loss. He relied heavily on his fiancé, family, team and coaches during this difficult time.

Guy shared that what happened on the court, was then haunting them in their everyday lives. After that historical game, outsiders and "fans" began to threaten them. Minutes after the loss, he shared that the players had to have police escort them back to their hotel because they were receiving death threats. With concerns from loved ones, Guy shared a touching conversation with his mother, Katy Fitzgerald. She had asked him how he was doing; he responded with: "A bend in the road isn't the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn." Her response was, "What if I told you not to worry, because when you feel like you're drowning, fear not, your lifeguard walks on water."

After a lot of late-night practices, continuous support, never-ending dedication and much-needed recovery, these men came back and fought even harder; not letting their past define them. They became a new team and won another ACC regular-season title and earn another number one seed. The 2018 tournament loss was a driving force of motivation for this team for the 2019 tournament, and for anyone who watched the NCAA National Championship game, their motivation and determination showed. Virginia beat number three seed, Texas Tech in overtime, 85-77. The Virginia Men's Basketball team came back stronger than ever and won it all.

I would call them a team, but it is very clear these gentlemen are more like a family. Through the continuous support, appreciation and love they show for each other; they are truly an inspiring group of men. This is an inspiring story of the journey of life not always being easy, but definitely being well worth it. These athletes took one of life's sourest lemons and truly turned it into some very sweet lemonade, and that is a lesson worth remembering.

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