Last week, I was entering the locker room after my workout. I walked past another college student weighing herself. Stepping on the scale, shaking her head at the number, stepping off, then trying again, as if the number may have been wrong or would change. By her expressions, I knew she wasn't happy.
I sat in class later that day and got back a 70% on my Chem exam. To others, that may be a horrible grade, but to me, it was like all my hard work paid off. I exhaled a sigh of relief. I could relax. I did well.
I open Instagram and see transformation pictures of girls losing the freshman 15, or the muscles they've gained. Or their new haircut or eyelash extensions. Their picture is full of compliments in the comment section. I bet they go to bed feeling satisfied that they are being acknowledged.
I know because I've been there.
I've been that girl, time and time again. I have been a slave to the scale, to the mirror, to the comments and likes on social media. I know the feeling all too well.
I want you to know that you are not alone. If you're waiting on a text from a guy who seems to never call, turn off your phone. If you're stuck staring at a number on a scale that seems to never budge, no matter how hard you work, throw that f**king scale away. If you don't get as many likes on a selfie as you had hoped, for the love of God, don't delete it! Leave it up there, you are beautiful.
If you need to hear that you are strong, empowering, amazing, intelligent, loving, giving; you are all of those things. You are those things because you know the type of person you are.
You know you work hard to make money on the weekends while studying your ass off all week. You go out of your way to hold the door for people when you're in a rush and pay for the person's coffee behind you in line. But yet, you feel unnoticed. Maybe even invisible and unappreciated.
You do things out of the goodness of your heart. You do it for the smile you put on others' faces. But when actions go unnoticed or are not reciprocated, it's easy for us to fall into the trap of blaming ourselves.
It's human nature to second guess our worth, as unfortunate as it is. In order to solidify our worth, we seek validation through others. When are we going to start seeing ourselves for the amazing people we are, without worrying about others' opinions of us?
What other people think of you, or their actions towards you, should never affect how you view yourself. I know that seems nearly impossible, especially with the society we live in, but we should strive for assurance through self-love.
Keep doing the things that make you happy, and fill your heart with joy. Regardless if others notice what you're doing or not, don't do it for them. Don't shirk yourself in order to make others feel conformable. Do these things for you.
At the end of the day, if you're satisfied with the person you are, your confidence will radiate. Whether that attracts people or pushes them away, is not on you.
So, the next time you take a picture that you love, post it. The next time you don't do so hot on a test, there will always be another chance to show your intelligence. The next time you feel unappreciated or overlooked, show them what they're missing.
You are incredible, I hope you know that.