Dear Girl Rethinking Her Open Relationship,

So maybe you are not as happy as you once were at the start of this “relationship.” There are couples literally everywhere around you, as if the world coupled up over night, and you are the only person left still feeling single. Ultimately you are not happy. But the reason you are reading this letter instead of going out and meeting new people is that you have developed feelings for your boyfriend, or in this scenario “not boyfriend.” Which means you might find yourself asking this question, “Is it worth losing him by bringing this up?”

You like him enough that your biggest fear is whether or not he’ll continue to be in your life. You also like him enough to stay in a relationship in which you are not happy. Not wanting to lose someone is a terrible excuse for subjecting yourself to this kind of emotional torture. If you are not happy, then why are you with this person? A relationship, a real relationship, consists of communication. If your guy does not want to hear what you have to say then they might not be boyfriend material. Anyone who does not consider your feelings important enough to be listened to has no place in your life. You deserve to be happy! The minute you decide an open relationship is no longer what you want, stand up for yourself and say so. Do not trick yourself into thinking this is the end. It might very well be the beginning. Stop saying you’ll never find anyone like him. Let’s be real, there are millions of people out there. You could catch feelings for a hundred somebodies before you find the one you can finally call your boyfriend.

Now, if you did clarify that you wanted to move ahead in the relationship and he does in fact not want to lose you, but he still does not want an exclusive relationship, well then it’s a little more complicated. You have two options. You can decide this is no longer for you since it is not progressing anytime in the near future and get out now before you are in deeper, or if you can comfortably maintain being not his girlfriend, stay patient until the day comes when he calls you his girlfriend, or you mutually end things. Regardless of which option you choose, just know it is your choice and his as well. Respect is another huge part of relationships and it is important to respect one another’s decision. It may hurt and you might cry, but no one said relationships were easy. Quite honestly I doubt you’ll ever find someone who did.

If you take anything from this letter let it be this: every relationship is different; therefore each one provides a unique experience. Let every experience teach you and help you to grow. Learn from the bad, remember the good, and continue moving forward.

Sincerely,

A "Not Girlfriend"