To the girl whose mom just got cancer,

I wish I could be there for you-- I mean really be there for you, unlike so many people who will honestly throw a bunch of empty promises at you. I wish I could sit with you as you watch your mom face chemo, radiation, and countless surgeries. I know that you have fear because I was overwhelmed with it. Your head is spinning with a million "what ifs" and "whys". You are praying, pleading more than you ever have before because deep down you feel so lost, so broken, no one gets it. She is your mom! This is NOT supposed to happen.

God... what if my momma isn't at my graduation? Lord, please please please let her be at my wedding... Will she even meet the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with? Will my kids even know her?

God, why?

I wish I could tell you why.

But, the truth is, I can't. That would be superficial and so misleading. We simply don't know. That is the torment of it all. We have no idea why your family has to go through this and others do not. You may look at other families with jealousy or even anger.

For so long I did not understand why MY mom. Of ALL the moms. But, when I looked closer, I saw beauty and learned so much from my mom.

For instance, there is freedom when you see the preciousness of time,
scars become warrior marks,
and never, never, never give up.


Cancer pushed my momma and I together unlike anything else. I have the deepest respect for her and our relationship is so unique because we know, it might end.

End.

Death.

It is never an easy topic to talk about and honestly isn't fair for the girl in elementary school, middle school, high school, or even college to be trying to wrap her head around. But here is the deal...

We have no idea how long your momma has, but NO ONE DOES!

She is strong, she is beautiful, and she has it in her to be a fighter, and she has you. But be warned, the doctors are going to say a million things. They are going to label her with a stage, a percentile, and give you their "professional" opinion. But that is all it is, an opinion.

They are not God but sometimes they act like it (no offense doctors). They have told my mom twice she would have less than a year to live... the most recent was this past September. This is the fifth time she has had cancer... this is what she wrote:

"Several people have asked when I will be going to MD Anderson. Truth is I went in late September already. The oncologist I saw was actually the lead researcher. She was very straightforward and honest but the statistics she gave me were grim and really rattled me. I came home faced with a choice of how I was going to live with this terminal disease. I am an optimistic realist and a strong believer. So I chose to live each day I had rather than mourn the ones I won’t have and trust God. Today I had a CAT scan of my neck and chest that showed no progression of my disease!!! Prayers have been answered and I am so grateful and blessed! God is Sovereign even in the difficult places of life. At the end of this month I will have already beaten the odds of 80% at my stage so this news today was huge. God is faithful!"

Yes, He is faithful and will be faithful to you on this journey. He cares deeply and intimately for your momma more than you ever possibly could.

Remember friend, He did not do this to her, but He did allow it; and that can be so hard to understand.

Friend, so much of this is hard to understand. I know I never will understand it myself, but I also know my life and my relationships are richer because of the beauty found in this brokenness you are about to face. Again, I wish I could be there for you to help you not feel so lost but please know your pleads are being heard. You are not alone.

Signed,

A girl whose mom lives with cancer