There's this feeling that overcomes a person when they realize that their worst fear is coming true. It's almost frightening, the way your knees buckle and your eyes fill with tears, the way you can't catch your breath. That was my reaction the day I connected the dots, when I realized what the outcome would be.

You were getting my forever — I realized that day.

You see, I really, truly thought that the boy, the man, that now belongs to you would be mine forever. Love makes you naive that way. You think you will have those eyes and that embrace for the rest of your life.

So, you plan for the rest of your life.

You pick a theme (rustic chic), and all the weird, quirky things you just have to do (like him singing Tonight Looks Good On You to you after your first dance), and a honeymoon location (Paris, or if he had it his way, a cabin in the middle of nowhere). You agree that absolutely no one will wear any shade of pink. You discuss how you will not wear sneakers instead of dress shoes (his choice, not mine). Then, suddenly, none of that matters anymore because he is not ready.

Then, you find out that he is ready with someone else.

So, you need to know a few things from me, as the girl who was supposed to be in your place, and because of who you are, the girl who has my forever.

1. Write your own vows

Please, please just write them yourself. I wrote something for him after every date on an index card, tucked it away in an envelope, and told myself that each little card would make up my wedding vows to that man someday. That's how sure I was. I hope to God that you're that sure. He deserves to have you be that sure.

2. He's a mess

That head of his is a mess. By now, you know that. Please don't let him get quiet. Keep talking, and never, ever stop talking. When it gets quiet, tell him how much you love him. Silence is not a good thing with that boy. It never was, and it never will be. He'll act cold when you talk to him while he's upset, but he appreciates it. He's not heartless. Don't you dare believe him when he says that.

3. He'll hate that you can read him like a book

I hope you have that ability because without it, you'll be lost. Read between the lines and ask one million questions. Even if he gets angry. You'll find out what you need to know eventually. (His gaze shifts to the right and his bottom lip twitches when he's lying.)

4. Laugh with him

When you're old and gray, in your seventies, watching your grandchildren, hold his hand, run your hands through what hair he has left, and laugh. Be thankful that you've come that far.

5. Never lose sight of how lucky you are

I can't explain this one very much. I can only hope that you realize how lucky you are to be loved by him. Even when he annoys you, even when you are so mad you could scream, be thankful. Looking back, I wish I would have realized how fortunate I was before it was too late. Please, never forget how fortunate you are to be with someone like him.

You are the luckiest girl in the entire world.

Take care of him.