In our society, representation of yourself is important. It's strangers first impression of you. Now, I know many of us are in college and don't put much time into what we wear or what we look like (because we all have those roll-out-of-bed days). But I know a lot of people who put the effort in their outfit because they are doing it for themselves. Maybe it's for their own satisfaction or that they are genuinely trying to impress someone.
For me, it's for my own wellbeing.
Throughout high school, I have struggled with my self-image.
I'm an average white girl in a sea of beautiful, tall girls that do their makeup every day and wear the perfect outfit and never fail to look amazing.
Now that I am in college, I scroll through Instagram to see people living their best lives and taking the best pictures looking absolutely beautiful. I know that social media takes on a positive persona so that way people can show how off how amazing their lives are when it may not be at all.
But when life gets me down, I can't help and think I wish I was like them.
Those thoughts of "I wish I was this..." or "I hope I can be more like..." or "I wish I was more..." become deafening. This starts affecting my confidence levels. Even if I know I have the capability to do it, I doubt it or think it's not good enough. Some go farther and think they are worth nothing. When people say, "You need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else." Maybe that's true, but how long will that take?
Just know it may take awhile. I am 20 years old and I am not there yet. I look in the mirror and see flaws. A blemish that has been there for several weeks. I think as soon as one goes away, two more pop up. A butt that I wish was bigger so that way I could fill out my jeans. A lot of people talk about amazing they feel, I have yet to feel that.
You will have good days and bad days.
One day you may feel like a queen and the next day feel like every look toward you is staring at the flaws that you may only notice. In the words of Jessie J, "It's okay not be okay."
Be true to who you are.
At the end of the day, looks may be what people see first but friendships and relationships are based on your personality and who you truly are. The good qualities that make you amazing will show through your looks. But no matter how you see yourself, you are enough and you are worth it.
You deserve the best day of your life. You deserve an A on that midterm because you did your best. You deserve to feel the sun hit your face on a cloudless day because you keep going and you see the positive things in life when the world is full of negativity. Don't give up darling, just keep trying.