To The Girl Who Still Doesn't Love Herself, Don't Give Up

To The Girl Who Still Doesn't Love Herself, Don't Give Up

No matter how you see yourself, you are enough and you are worth it.
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In our society, representation of yourself is important. It's strangers first impression of you. Now, I know many of us are in college and don't put much time into what we wear or what we look like (because we all have those roll-out-of-bed days). But I know a lot of people who put the effort in their outfit because they are doing it for themselves. Maybe it's for their own satisfaction or that they are genuinely trying to impress someone.

For me, it's for my own wellbeing.

Throughout high school, I have struggled with my self-image.

I'm an average white girl in a sea of beautiful, tall girls that do their makeup every day and wear the perfect outfit and never fail to look amazing.

Now that I am in college, I scroll through Instagram to see people living their best lives and taking the best pictures looking absolutely beautiful. I know that social media takes on a positive persona so that way people can show how off how amazing their lives are when it may not be at all.

But when life gets me down, I can't help and think I wish I was like them.

Those thoughts of "I wish I was this..." or "I hope I can be more like..." or "I wish I was more..." become deafening. This starts affecting my confidence levels. Even if I know I have the capability to do it, I doubt it or think it's not good enough. Some go farther and think they are worth nothing. When people say, "You need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else." Maybe that's true, but how long will that take?

Just know it may take awhile. I am 20 years old and I am not there yet. I look in the mirror and see flaws. A blemish that has been there for several weeks. I think as soon as one goes away, two more pop up. A butt that I wish was bigger so that way I could fill out my jeans. A lot of people talk about amazing they feel, I have yet to feel that.

You will have good days and bad days.

One day you may feel like a queen and the next day feel like every look toward you is staring at the flaws that you may only notice. In the words of Jessie J, "It's okay not be okay."

Be true to who you are.

At the end of the day, looks may be what people see first but friendships and relationships are based on your personality and who you truly are. The good qualities that make you amazing will show through your looks. But no matter how you see yourself, you are enough and you are worth it.

You deserve the best day of your life. You deserve an A on that midterm because you did your best. You deserve to feel the sun hit your face on a cloudless day because you keep going and you see the positive things in life when the world is full of negativity. Don't give up darling, just keep trying.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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The Selflessness Of Self-Care

It is OK to nurture yourself before nurturing others.

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Do you find yourself prioritizing taking care of others before taking care of yourself? I do.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Saiarchana, and I am a nurturer. Nurturing people is something that has almost become second-nature to me because I am so accustomed to doing it. I love uplifting others and being there to give them support when they are in need. I love giving support to others so much that I am even majoring in Psychology. Nurturing is something that is incredibly important to me. I nurture others because I don't want anyone to feel alone or unsupported.

But, sometimes I forget to nurture myself.

I used to believe that taking care of others involved sacrifice. This kind of sacrifice was my own energy and self-care. I lived under the belief that by pulling away and taking care of myself, I would be labeled as selfish. So, I kept on nurturing others around me.

Until I broke down.

I was giving so much support and care to others, that I had forgotten about me. I am also a very important person in my life. My relationship with myself is incredibly important, and I had forgotten that. I was so focused on pouring love and care to others, that I had forgotten to water myself with those same sustaining forces. I was getting drained and worn out from nurturing and giving love to so many people around me because I was neglecting myself.

When I realized what was happening, I finally understood: Love is not starvation. I do not need to starve myself in order to feed others. I do not need to neglect my self-care in order to care for and give love to the people around me. Nurturing others does not equate to neglecting myself. Because, once I neglect myself, I end up not being able to show up fully for the people in my life.

I read a quote by an influencer named Allie Michelle. Michelle said:

"Taking care of yourself is selfless. An empty well cannot give water to a village."

When I read this, it was as if my eyes developed clearer vision. I recognized that I believed that self-care was selfish when actually it is one of the most selfless things I can ever do for this world. When I am able to take care of myself, I am at a healthier and stable position to give care to others. When I give from a place of lack, I end up lacking more. Giving my energy to others when I am in desperate need of recharging my own energy will end up making me feel emptier. It is like the good analogy from Michelle's quote. I cannot give from an empty source. When I forget to give love and care to myself, I reach a point where there is nothing left to give to others, because I haven't maintained a solid foundation for myself.

Giving care to others should be a fulfilling experience, not a draining one. In order for it to be a fulfilling experience, I need to make sure I am not giving from a place of emptiness. I need to nurture myself because doing so will give me a stable foundation. So, I finally understand the key to nurturing others: making sure I am nurturing myself first.

So, what now?

I am going to continue giving love and care to others. But this time, I am going to make sure I am nurturing myself too.

I hope you nurture yourself too. You are worthy of the love and care you give to others.

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