To The Girl Who Had His Heart Before Me

To The Girl Who Had His Heart Before Me

A thank you letter to the girl who loved my boyfriend before I did.

His phone lights up.

The screen shows a name that I know all too well...

For a brief moment, I wonder why you're calling him. Even though I try to convince myself not to care or to think a second thought about it. I don't want you to get into my head, consuming my thoughts with "what if...," getting the best of my insecurities that think that you could once again waltz back into his life and make him happier than I can. But, most importantly, bring up old feelings and memories in his mind of you, the person who once had his heart.

The contact that you try to initiate with him is unnecessary.

It isn't right.

He has moved on from the heart break that you caused him just as I wish you could move on and heal form the hurt that I know he caused you. But, in order to move on and assure you that his heart is in good hands, there are a few things I want you to know.

To the girl he loved before me:


This is probably a letter that you never expected to receive but life has a crazy way of doing things that we least expect. Even though you and I have never actually met, I feel as though I know you (at least a little bit). After all, we have to have at least a similar taste in men to have fallen for the same man. Maybe we're more alike than what meets the eye or the pixilated images that I see when I browsed your Instagram a time or two to see what the girl who had his heart before was like.

This letter isn't meant to tear you down, disrespect you, or embarrass you in any way. I actually just wanted to say thank you - yeah, thank you. (I know that isn't what you were expecting).

There are so many things that I could tell you thank you for but I'll just acknowledge the big few:

Thank you for seeing how incredible he is. You know as well as I do how smart, sincere, sarcastic, and skilled he is. You saw the things that make him unique and so special. While you were with him, you saw the more personal, more vulnerable layers of his being that not everyone gets to see or he even realizes about himself.

Thank you for loving him in the way that you could love him. While with you, he learned how to treat a girl, how to make her smile, and how to make her feel adored. But, best of all, you showed him how to respond to our girly whims, mood-swings, and constant need for love and attention.

Thank you for being difficult. While he was with you, it wasn't always easy (no relationship is) but you taught him the importance of fighting for someone that he didn't want to lose. He realized that relationships take time, effort, and communication if they have any hope of working.

Thank you for breaking his heart. You left the boy who would do anything to make someone smile. I can't tell you enough how thankful I am that you broke his heart because now I got to meet this amazing man, discover all his quirks, and help him to mend his once broken heart into one that is hopeful and ready to love again.

There are a lot of things that I have to tell you thank you for and you may not believe just how thankful I am that you love the man who has stolen my heart before I had the chance to do so. I'll never be jealous of the time that you spent with him just as I hope that he isn't jealous of the time that I spent with the boys of my past. I'm thankful that you had the time that you did with him and loved him the best way that you knew how to, tried to make it work, and ultimately, realized that even though you were both trying that the love both of you had to give one another wasn't enough. The broken road that he was one after it ended between you both led the amazing man of your past to me.

He is the biggest blessing that I could have ever received even though when I first met him I didn't realize that he was God's answers to my prayers.

He makes me happy.

He makes me feel beautiful and understood.

I adore him.

He means so much to me. I hope you realize that. You once loved him and I know that there is still a place in your heart that still loves him and always will because those feelings don't just disappear. So, if you still love him at all then you'd want him to be happy - let him be happy. Let him be happy with me.

I try not to be possessive of him and jealous of the contact that you keep trying to initiate but, just listen...

Every time I see his phone light up with your name on it whether it be a phone call, text, or snapchat my heart stops and my mind begins to think the worse. I want to believe the sensible part of my brain that says you're just being a friend who wants to say "hey" but I don't know you; I don't know if you have an ulterior motive. To me, you are the girl who once had the heart of the man that has now stolen mind. I try to fight the insecurity that occasionally creeps into my heart and mind but it's hard to stop all the time. I'm only human. I'm only a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and wants to love the man that she never saw coming but now doesn't want to imagine life without.

So, from one girl to another please respect him and his right to happiness. You had your chance to make him smile and be "his girl," but that time has passed. Please, be a friend from a distance or be someone who encourages when he doesn't believe in himself. You know him better than many people; therefore, you know how big his heart is. Don't take his loving heart and kindness for granted. Every time you reach out to him, you know he's going to respond or feel the need to because that's the kind of person he is. He never wants to hurt anyone, especially those he cares about. So, for his happiness, please, be a friend but respect his space.


The girl he loves now

Cover Image Credit: Favim

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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What It Is Really Like Having Sisters Close To Your Age

While having siblings close to your age is pretty amazing, there can be a lot of issues that can come with it.


I come from a family of 5 people and 1 dog. I have 2 sisters, Grace and Caroline. We are all pretty close in age, Caroline being the youngest and 3 years younger than me.

My sisters and I share a bond like no one else, no one can replicate it. When you have siblings close to your age you have built-in best friends, and since they are around your age you have the same interest, or at least, enough so that you can do things that other siblings cannot. Examples of this would be seeing R-Rated movies and going to the mall without too much complaining, along with being able to shop in the same stores or even share clothes. Grace and I sometimes even split the cost of a shirt we both like.

We even overlap friend groups! Which is not much of a problem for us, Grace and I are both in music programs which overlap enough for us to have the same friends, which is great for when one of us has a sleepover, the other can join in on the fun. Caroline, however, even though she is seen as the sporty one of the 3 of us, she still has a lot of friends who have similar interests as Grace or I, giving us a lot of the same friends. It's nice not to be considered the "cool older sister", I am just like the rest of them.

While we do fight a lot, we make up really quickly, because most issues we have are stupid sibling fights: who gets the T.V., what to have for dinner, what movie to see. But it is always fun because there are 3 of us, which means majority rules, something we tend to go by most of the time depending on the situation.

Having 3 teenagers in the house can be a handful for our parents though, when you have three teenage girls going through puberty at relatively the same time, it can be grueling, especially when you are all on your period at the same time.. (yes, that has happened before) (and yes, it sucks). While I am on the topic, let's say a prayer and a thank you to my dad for dealing with 5 girls (including the dog, obviously) because he does a pretty damn good job at dealing with all of us.

When we were younger, we always had a play date even when one was canceled. We all made up songs and dances and would perform them for our parents. We even had a band called The Halsey Sisters (AKA the female version of The Jonas Brothers) where we had a hit song called "We Got The Heart and Soul". It was a hell of a time. Let's just say the music video for that song is, interesting to say the least.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't switch my sisters for anything in the world, they are my rocks, and I wouldn't want it any other way, Grace, Caroline, keep doing what you're doing, because you're pretty damn awesome.

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