Complexity is your middle name. You are quiet but have the loudest mind, you are careful yet carefree, you love to be alone but hate being lonely. It is tiresome and difficult to be such a walking contradiction, especially in a society that teaches us to be defined in such a clear cut way. Because of this, you are hesitant to embrace the beautiful force of a woman that you are; you feel no one else will understand.
You find it especially hard to let others become close to you. Though you have more acquaintances than you can count, true best friends are few and far between for you. You can flirt with boys till the end of the Earth but as soon as they catch feelings you run away. Not because you don't want to make more close friends or because you don't want to be in a relationship, but because, out of fear, you are tentative to let people be able to see all the aspects of who you are. How can someone love a girl who is so many things at once?
Well, let me tell you something...it's time you throw away this mentality and start showing the world your authentic self. Yes, maybe you are a messy eater and stay up until two in the morning because your mind is abuzz with a thousand thoughts. You may wear a flowy, floral dress one day and all black the next. You could even fall in love with fictional characters from the latest novel you're reading and play the same song on repeat for 30 minutes because it makes you feel something different every time. These things are not as crazy as you make them out to be. These things are absolutely beautiful. They show that you are truly alive; you have a caring heart and a changing mind, and there is nothing more wonderful than that.
You may see yourself as difficult to love, but in reality, there is so much about you to love. Sure, not everyone is going to understand you, but that is OK. The people that don't accept your complexity are often ones that are just too simple-minded to appreciate it, anyway. These are the people you must try to distance yourself from because these are the ones that make you perceive your beautiful quirks as annoying habits.
I promise you, there are people out there who will love you to the universe and back for exactly who you are. The days that you feel you have storm clouds in your head, they will still see stars in your eyes. They will help you see yourself for the masterpiece in progress that you are, and show you that your imperfections are just vital brush strokes to your canvas. It may take time and a little heartache, but you will cross paths with these people at the exact time you need to find them, and you will finally see how loved you deserve to be.
