To the girl who is afraid of failure,

I can bet you never failed a test, you never felt pressured to cram for a grade, you coasted by but in the back of your mind you have always been afraid of this changing. You went through junior high, to high school, and even to college without failing, and getting a B was pretty much out of the question. Permit test? Aced. Driver's test? Not a problem. SAT? Got the score you needed.

Sure, you kind of studied, but so do other people and they failed? When will you? Having these questions in the back of your mind will haunt you. But, you will hit a point, you will finally be tested to your limit and this is okay. This will be a time that truly shows you how to work for a grade, not just coast by and rely on your not failing streak. This does not mean you have failed, but you finally found an area that has pushed you and showed you areas to improve on.

Quite honestly, you were put at such a disadvantage, no one ever failed you on a test. This pretty much means no one pushed you to do better, no one found an area to work on to improve on next time. Sure, you got some questions wrong, but there was never a subject that you could just not understand.

Not only were you never pushed, but you always had this reputation to keep up with, and this will grow toxic. You need to stop being concerned about a stupid, not failing streak, stop focusing on the grade number and start focus on learning, and really learning. Remember what you are passionate about, you love chemistry, so learn and understand functional groups, don't just memorize them for a dumb test. Or with any other class, reach for the deeper understanding, not just an A. You are so much more than all of the silly information you can regurgitate on an exam, and it is truly a shame this is what high school taught you to do.

But.. you will find a class or another area of life that does not come as naturally, and this will be your chance to work on your yourself, not because you are afraid of failing, but because you want to work to be better.. This will teach you so much about yourself and this time, you will actually take pride in your grade and the amount of work it took to achieve this. Sure, you will get anxious and nervous about it, but deep down you will know you have done everything you possibly could have and there is something super empowering about this process.

So, I know, I have been there, you don't think this will happen to you. You made it all the way to college and you are in your desired major and program. But, you still have to take on challenging courses and life itself. When you get to this point, please don't get worked up over the silly number from a test or how you might not be performing as best as possible. Focus on what you know and then understand what you need to improve on.

You might even fail a test, I know, but the earth will still continue to spin, and yes, you will get that job you want in the future.

Sincerely,

The girl that is kind of okay with failing