As a society, I think there is one thing that we can all agree on: 2017 was possibly the worst year of all time.

It seems that no matter where you are on your walk of life, somehow 2017 found a way to personally attack each and every one of us in the worst of ways. Even thought this year has been the most painful of all, it became a sort of comfort to know that even though I was struggling, everyone else seemed to be as well. But nonetheless, 2017 is not a place where I would ever hope to go back to.

In 2017 I felt my first real, actual heartbreak. I watched myself lose somebody that I never thought I would. I learned betrayal firsthand as I witnessed the people who had been there for me my whole life, and who I thought would continue to be there for me for my whole life, turn their backs to me when I needed them the most. I became alone as people who I had never met before sought out to sabotage me and succeeded. I developed anxiety that left me feeling hopeless and relapsed into a deep depression that, at times, kept me in bed. I watched the people that I trusted so deeply lie to my face and mock my deepest insecurities as they continued to assume that my trust in them would remain constant. I spent lonely nights with myself, crying my sad self to sleep until my anxious thoughts would wake me up shortly in the dead of the night.

And despite it all, despite the pain, and quite frankly, the trauma that I have experienced and will continue to deal with from 2017, there is still hope.

In 2017 I learned forgiveness. I learned to let go of the pain that was caused by the people who mean a lot to me, and to continue to pursue them anyways. I finally came to a place where I am comfortable with being honest with myself and others, and I don't feel ashamed to admit that I am struggling. I have taken the time to unapologetically indulge myself in the things that make me the happiest. I have learned to love again after facing a time in my life where love seemed so impossible. I found ways to be healthy and take care of my body which only lead me to a happier life. I faced the things that terrified me and gave me the worst anxiety and have felt strong and unstoppable as a result.

I am the happiest to see 2017 come and go, but am grateful for every terrible moment that the year brought. I have grown and am eager to take the lessons that I have learned with me into 2018. May 2018 be another year of growth and self discovery, without the pain that came along with it.