A recent theme in many of my interactions is that people seem to expect or feel entitled to a certain type of treatment or to certain things, and the fact of the matter is that this is not the case. You get what you give in life. Your friendships and other relationships will grow and develop based on the amount and quality of energy you put into them, your professional life will develop based on your effort and the work you put in (meaning that if you call of constantly, you might find you don't get raise and your paychecks suck), and if you eat McDonald's and nap a lot you probably won't develop muscles even if you really want them.
I am not sure what the deal is lately, maybe it's me, but I keep finding people who are incapable of accepting their own roles in their lives. It's like everything is just happening to them and none of it is fair and so on and so forth. Obviously it is always easier to see things from the outside looking in, but it seems to me that if nothing is right in someone's life they should maybe take a look at what they can do to change it. Maybe they need to quit a job and start something new, maybe cut off a toxic friend, or maybe they need to commit to a better way of eating and taking care of themselves. Whatever it is, I am certain that the responsibility is personal.
I have a life hack for all of you. I learned it in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and accepting it has changed my life. Are you ready? Here it is. Brace yourselves.
The only thing in life you have control over is yourself.
You may get what you give, but I firmly believe that shitty things do happen from time to time. The key is to manage your response. Maybe your boyfriend is a jerk, but you are the one who chooses whether or not to stay in the relationship. Perhaps you have a really shitty time keeping friends, what can you change in your actions and behavior to be a better friend? Are you too busy to hit the gym every day and to prep organic, low-carb meals but you want to be healthy? Well then, what can you do to better your physical health?
I will say it again, you get what you give. You want better friends? Be a better friend. You want love? Embody it. You want success? Work your fucking ass off. Lonely? Reach out. Sad? Find an outlet. I cannot be the only person in the world who doesn't think that life is just happening to me and that I have to accept my lot or that I can control and manipulate everything until it goes my way. I know there have to be a few others who at least try and practice the life hack that I mentioned. Lately it just doesn't seem like it to me.
Excuse me for being blunt, but get a fucking grip. Stop whining. Stop playing the victim. Own your shit. Stop pretending to be something you aren't. Be you. Be bold. Embrace the shit and the sunshine and everything in between. Take responsibility and own your actions. Life gets better. I promise.
It isn't always easy, but it is always worth it. At the end of the day, self-awareness and accountability are priceless. They are attributes that should be treasured. Imagine the empowerment and the sense of pride that can be taken from knowing that you did everything you could to make your life what you want it to be, rather than blaming everyone and everything and being a passive observer in your own life.
Even if takes constant reminders, it's worth doing. Write it on a post-it and stick it to your mirror, "I cannot control anyone except myself." Then maybe ask yourself related questions such as, "What can I do when I feel that life is being unfair? When I am angry? When I am hurt? How can I respond rather than react?"
If you have felt like things have been shitty for a while, felt like victim, or felt like everyone keeps turning on you, maybe give it a try. Blaming everyone, playing the victim, and constantly trashing others is not a good look on anyone. Change your life.