A guide to getting over a broken heart

A Guide To Getting Over A Broken Heart Doesn't Exist, Honestly, You're On Your Own For This One

You won't find a step-by-step breakdown of exactly how to get over a broken heart, because this journey is yours

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Odds are, you're hurting and looking for a step-by-step plan on how to get over your heartbreak. Unfortunately, this is not that.

To be incredibly honest, as hard as you look, you won't find what you're looking for. Trust me, I've tried. There are Facebook stories, Pinterest quotes, blog posts, YouTube videos, and the list goes on and on as far as tips to mend a broken heart. Unfortunately, but also, fortunately, this journey is yours. While I may not be able to offer a quick catch-all solution, I can share some insight from my own experiences.

First and foremost, please PLEASE give yourself time to heal. A time to revel in your pain and feel bad for yourself. Good news, you can stay in bed and keep eating your ice cream. On a less exciting note though, this span of time can only last so long. At some point in time, you need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

While it would be nice to turn off the feelings of heartbreak, try giving yourself a span of time a day to really feel bad. Start with an hour a day and go down from there. It's so important that you understand how okay it is to feel pain. If you keep yourself from hurting now, it'll hit you later.

Remove, delete, unfollow, block. Do whatever you have to do to get all negative influence out of your life. One of the hardest things in the world is cutting someone or something out entirely. It's so easy to convince ourselves that we are able to maintain a conversation or see social media posts. This "one foot out the door" mentality drags on the heartbreak process for way longer than it needs to be. Allow happiness, happy people and happy things to be the only major influencers in your life, even if it means cutting something out.

Allow yourself a season to focus on you and your own personal growth. Those that jump from one relationship to another are masking the healing process that should come along with a broken heart. Whatever self-betterment looks like for you, prioritize that. Focus on your physical, mental or spiritual health. This time of self-improvement will allow you to fall back in love with the person you were before a season of heartbreak. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with yourself before you can ever be happy with someone else.

Give yourself time. It seems like everyone and their brother has a time frame in their mind as far as the healing process goes. "It's been _____ months. You should be over him by now." This is one of my LEAST favorite statements of all time. Your relationship was just that, yours. No one knows your heart like you do. Give yourself all of the time you need to cope and move on. If that's a month, great. If that's a year, that's okay too. Others do not get to have a say about whether or not you're recovering too quickly or not quickly enough.

When the time comes for you to move up and move on, let yourself do that. For some this means unblocking on social media, for others, it means seeing an old friend and being able to be happy for their happiness. Whatever that process looks like for you, do it and be done. Go through the motions and allow yourself to grow and move on.

Every heart is different. Some are stronger than others. Some have been through a lot. Some have been rather lucky. Unfortunately, though life has its way of throwing some MAJOR curveballs. While there is no perfect list or formula to mend a broken heart, there are some tricks and tips for some great personal growth in the face of adversity.

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Yes, My Boyfriend Is My Best Friend, Through Thick And Thin

I know he'll always be by my side.

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My boyfriend is my best friend.

Sure, I have other people I consider my best friend, but he is ultimately my number one. For the past year, he's been, my go-to guy. He's the first person I go to for everything. Advice, confidence, wisdom, a good laugh, a shoulder to cry on, he's there.

He can make me laugh harder than my favorite Friends episodes, and those crack me up even if I've seen them a million times. He's the goofiest guy I know and always makes me laugh, even when I'm mad at him.

He gives me the best advice when I'm in a tough situation, and always knows what to say.

When I'm feeling down about myself, school, my future, anything, he always gives me the confidence to believe in myself. He's my number one fan and supporter, and is constantly "juicing me up."

Being four years apart in age, he's always giving me wisdom and advice from things he's experienced in his life so I can learn and better myself. He's always trying to guide me in the right direction.

I'm an emotional mess and he's always there to comfort me.

He makes me feel special. No matter where we are or what we're doing, he manages to make me feel like the only girl in the world.

He loves me through the ups and downs, my quirks, my flaws and everything in between.

My boyfriend is my best friend and I'm OK with that.

So Malik, if you come across this, know that you are my number one. I appreciate all you do for me and am so thankful for you. You are my absolute best friend and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

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To The Ex-Best Friend Who Made Everything A Competition, I'm Done Playing Your Game

And I'm doing OK without you.

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Dear Best Friend,

We were inseparable, attached at the hip, and I always thought that you would be in my life for forever. We did everything together: ate the worst food possible, watched the newest crappy Netflix film, cried over the boy that constantly broke our hearts, and laughed at the things that made us seem the most stupid. I loved you like a sister, and I would do anything for you, but everything started to change quickly, and it didn't make sense for me to stay.

As close as we were, things started to become a competition: who could be the happiest? Who could be the best in school? Who could find the "one" first? Even now, I sit and question why we thought that these things were supposed to strengthen our friendship when they only destroyed it. I felt like I had entered a toxic relationship, trapped in the constant annoyance that I felt in your presence, and I hate that I felt this way. But, here's the thing, you were so wrapped up in your own life and making yourself happy that you had totally forgotten that I had a life of my own. I wanted to be successful, too. I wanted to have a shoulder to cry on when I was hurt, too. I wanted to have my best friend on my side, too. But I didn't have the luxury that you did; you were my best friend, but I wasn't yours.

After months of just being there at your disposal, I finally learned what life would be like without having my best friend around, and that really sucked, if I'm being honest. Every time you called, I was there. Every time he broke your heart, I was there. Every time you needed to cry, I was there. I was behind you every step of the way, that even when my day was horrible, I made sure to answer when you called. But, when I needed you, the conversation was spun into your mandala of life, and my problems were thrust outside the lines. I was tired of being taken advantage of.

After all the ignored advice given, I finally gave up. I couldn't sit back and watch you ruin your life over a guy that obviously didn't care about your well-being or our friendship. I watched our friendship turn from something once great, something I couldn't live without, into something toxic and something I wanted no part of.

Because I knew that I had lost you a long time ago, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I could live a happier life without you in it. I wanted to make sure that the days of being in this crazy competition were over for me, and that I could look back on this last year and know that, no matter what, I was the winner of my own happiness. And I look at you, and I truly feel sorry for you because you've spent so much time trying to give someone else your happiness. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry that this happened. I'm sorry we grew apart. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be the friend that you needed. I'm sorry that I won't be the girl who hides behind one of her friends. I'm sorry that I have my own life, one that I'm proud of.

I'm glad we had laughs that we did. I'm glad we cried together. I'm glad that we have the amazing memories that we do.

You were my best friend, and I'll always be there for you. Just remember why I left.

With love,

Your Ex-Best Friend

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