Over the course of 22 days, I was in Old Orchard, Maine studying gender and privilege. In the program, Seminar by the Sea, I and 11 other students traveled from our school in Wayne, Pennsylvania to have the opportunity of a lifetime. Although the course is directed toward gender studies, I feel like I and everyone there has learned so much more. Here are just a few things I have learned that I can put words to:

1. I learned that I am worthy.

On a night of spoken word poetry, we ended on affirmations – words to affirm our presence in this world. Among the night, people said that they were "strong," "poets," and "mothers." In the wake of that amazing experience, we were all affirmed as a group that we are worthy of love, life, and fulfillment.

2. I learned that East Coast beaches are hella cold.

SERIOUSLY!! Even with it being 90 degrees outside, the water at the beach felt below zero!

3. I learned to appreciate my privilege.

It's not a bad thing to have privilege – no one chose what skin color, sex, ability (etc.) they were given at birth. But what is not good is people using their privilege to exercise oppressive behaviors on others. This is using your systematic privilege to hurt others, which is not cool.

4. I learned how to reject my privilege.

The thing about privilege is that even though we were born with it, it doesn't mean we should accept it. Thus, in situations when you know you are being treated better based on race/gender/sexual orientation/ability and so much more, call it out! Reject the privilege you were given that others were denied. In my case as a White female, if I see a woman with hairstyle deemed unacceptable in the workplace and therefore she was not hired and I was, I can speak out against it! Would I be risking the job I may have just landed? Maybe. But, because I'm White, getting a job at another place would not be hard. Rejecting your privilege is rejecting the pillow-top cushion you were given at birth. It's all about noticing that it is not right for you to be treated special for something that you didn't work for.

5. I learned what it means to be an ally.

Being an ally is so much more than posting pictures from a protest. Being an ally means being willing to be arrested instead of your Black neighbors. Being an ally is housing LGBT+ teens after they have been kicked out of their house. Being an ally is being someone's partner in crime. Being an ally is not being a White spokesperson for someone else. Being an ally is being on the battleground of justice while the speakers of the revolution are the ones being oppressed.

6. I learned to cry over someone's lifetime of oppression.

Being an ally means supporting those that you could have been oppressing by simply turning a blind eye. Many of us at Seminar by the Sea were White. With that, we had the opportunity to just have a glance into the lives of immigrants, Black young, and minority groups across the United States.

7. I learned that everyone needs to be doing more.

We're in a society that posting pictures at a protest or a rally is doing the world good. It's not like that isn't doing any good – power IS in numbers. But, the reality is that many people have the privilege to stop fighting for social justice simply because they can. However, this has to stop. The protests are for people who are oppressed not for some teens wanting to show face on social media. We need to do more. We need to unplug. We need to fight every day. We need to be an ally.

8. I learned that babies really... really like fist bumps.

Over the three-week course, my professor brought her adorable son, Gabe. There, Gabe and I would share in our ritual breakfast fist bumps. He especially liked it when the fist bumps would explode. His giggle made me giggle. I think having him there really helped me because I just left Florida and my niece and our fist bumps. Overall, babies make the day better even when you're drowning in reflections and projects.

9. I learned that there is a wide variety of intersex people.

Before Seminar by the Sea, I've heard of intersex people but didn't understand the explicit difference between the variety of them. I learned that intersex people are often made to fit the gender binary as young children. The class also learned that some intersex people believe that they are transgender, and some do not even know of their true genitals until puberty or when they try to reproduce. I learned that these people need allies too.

10. I learned that Black girls have magic.

ALL BLACK WOMEN CAN TURN NOTHING INTO SOMETHING.

11. I learned how to exist without a cell phone.

This was a hard one. On the first day of class, our advisers told us that they were taking our phones. Our generation is known for excess knowledge and involvement in technology. But, without our phones, we as a group of young adults learned to have an emotional connection. And, for three weeks, we knew each other apart from social media – we knew each other face to face.

12. I learned how to not speak.

My first instinct is to speak and speak loudly. But, at Seminar by the Sea, I learned that my story does not relate to other people. I learned that my voice is valuable but not always needed. I learned that everyone can speak truth from their own experiences.

13. I learned how to take care of myself.

I learned that I do not have to disclose everything to receive validation. I wrote a poem for spoken word night entitled 'my greatest shame.' The poem was written in response to the prompt about a physical bodily trait we give ourselves shame for. For me, my shame was my body not being able to save someone who deserved to be saved. Writing it was quite therapeutic, but I could not say it. Speaking aloud about my truth makes it more real. Although I felt shame for not speaking as so many others did, I knew that I could not disclose everything about me that night. I hope that one day I can say the poem.

14. I learned that there is much more to patriarchy than just "men are stupid."

Watching "The Mask You Live In," we as a group of twelve young women saw that men are pressured in society to be our oppressors just as much as we are taught to be their submissive other. As feminists, we learned that we need to fight the outlandish expectations society has for men as well as women.

15. I learned that I am a poet.

I can't believe that I am saying this. But, after three weeks of denial, I think I just may be a poet.

16. I learned to openly accept my religion for what it is.

I assumed going to a Christian school that I had to be Christian. But, after Seminar, I can openly talk about how I'm in questioning. I learned that my life and experiences do not have to lead me to religion. All I can hope for is that they will lead me closer to me.

17. I learned that it is okay not to be the center of attention.

I was taught to always make myself heard. In my life, I was always the oddball or the one people didn't think would be successful, so I always forced myself to voice my opinions. But, I learned that I'm not the topic all the time. My privilege allows me to be at the center of a lot of conversations, it is now up to me to take myself out of those spotlights and give it to someone with less privilege.

18. I learned to have open conversations.

Not everyone is going to agree with me and that is okay. If everyone agreed with one another, we would be living in a Utopia. But, instead of that unrealistic option, we must be open to speaking to people who are not in agreeance with our beliefs. It takes understanding their lives and situations to discuss why their beliefs may be problematic.

19. I learned how to persist.

Everything in this world will not be solved in a blink of an eye, and this class taught me that it makes it even more important for allies to persist. Justice doesn't happen overnight.

20. I learned that breaking bread with women is spectacular.

Traditionally, women eat last at the table. For three weeks, women ate together for every meal. We bonded at dawn eating bagels and eggs. We bonded over the sheer joy of Taco Tuesday. We got to eat and eat freely as women.

21. I learned that people need to tell their own stories and it is our privilege to hear them.

No one must tell you their story of oppression. It's not your story to hear. It is your privilege to know of someone else's heartache. It is our responsibility to let everyone speak for themselves, for, historically, that has seldom been done.

22. I learned that there are still thoughtful people in this world.

I learned that I must believe in good to seek good.

I have learned more than I would have ever thought in just three weeks. From this list, I can still see a plethora of more things I could have selected to talk about. I would like to thank the advisers of this amazing program, Landi and Rebecca, the encouraging faculty, Jen, Kyle, and Halyey, and the life-changing speakers, Angeley, Lexi, Zenique, Alexios, Megan, and Elizabeth. This program changed lives.