Before I came to college, I didn't have much experience with people using different pronouns, especially gender neutral pronouns. In my first college class, the professor went around the room and asked everyone their name, major, pronouns, and of course a fun fact about themselves. At the time, I only used she/her/hers as my pronouns. Coming from a small town and being the only queer person in my school for a long time, I was not used to being asked what my pronouns were. After meeting several people who use gender neutral pronouns, I had started thinking about my own identity and why I used the pronouns I did.

During my sophomore year of college, I had an amazing professor in my Women and Gender Studies class. My professor identifies as trans non-binary. The usual introductions started on the first day of class and when it came to me I said the class could use whatever pronouns they wanted to use when talking about me. I was fine with she/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/theirs. At this point in my life, I had come to a point where I wanted to experiment using different ways to identify myself. Later on in the semester, I went an talked to my professor alone because I needed someone to talk to about the feelings I was having.

When I talked to them, I realized that I was more than I thought I was; we all are. The topic of gender neutral pronouns came up and I mentioned that I did not feel like they were for me. Unfortunately, I still had the "grammar" issue with calling one person a "they". After about five minutes, my mind was changed forever. My professor told me that everyone is plural. Gender is a performance, this is something I have known for years and it has always resonated with me. The social constructs around gender are all a performance and individuals constantly act on them in order to perform the gender they identify most with, or if they don't identify with any gender, then they are still acting on those feelings.

Gender neutral pronouns are acceptable for everyone regardless of their gender identity. I was told that I constantly act on multiple roles in my life. All at once I am a student, child, employee, queer person, writer, etc. Since I act on multiple roles at once, why is it "against the norm" to use gender neutral pronouns that make me plural? When they said this, I sat in silence and thought about all the roles that I am performing at one time and how I truly am plural. I am not one thing, I am neutral in the roles that I play and therefore I now see why I can use gender neutral pronouns.

Since this conversation, I have changed my language to be more inclusive. I refer to people I don't know with gender neutral pronouns, I use gender neutral pronouns when introducing myself now too. As time has passed, I have found that I identify last with she/her/hers pronouns and genuinely, they just don't fit me. I don't correct people if they use she/her/hers pronouns on me because for the longest time that is what I used and went by. I have friends that use gender neutral, she/her/hers, and he/him/his pronouns on me. I love the variety that I have in my life with the interchanging pronouns.

Gender neutral pronouns work for everyone. You are acting on several roles at once and you are plural.