In my Comm 128 class (Gender In Humanities), we talk about topics that a lot of people find uncomfortable to talk about. We reach conversations that really open up our minds and see each other differently, but very similar at the same time. I mean, we are all just human beings.
A big topic; the difference between sex and gender and how that applies to us as human beings. When you are born, you are born male (XY), female (XX), or intersex (a different pattern other than XX or XY). Gender is what we identify as masculine or feminine. We are born a certain way but we may grow up completely different.
During the discussion led by two of my peers, they asked a question similar to, Do parents determine the way we are raised according to our gender or do you believe it's genetics?
Maybe, you never really think about what your parent's intentions were when they had you, besides wellness and stability to raise you, the wanting of a family and a child; but it's about how they raised you, through their own experiences. When we have children we are responsible to shape and teach them to eventually be able to survive on their own, just like they did. I saw a lot of similarities through my peers family and mine, but many differences as well. It came down to, what we were taught by them, what types of responsibilities and rules did we have.
It was interesting to see how we all connected in different ways and it helped me to see myself as a little bit different from not only the people around me but the people in my family. Being adopted, I don't know my biological makeup but I do know that my parents adopted me because they wanted to have a girl. Growing up with three guys, they were the people that I would watch after the most. Now, I think because I am a girl, I am/was expected to do more chores than my brothers and to pick things up that were not even my responsibility. I wanted to be good at sports, I wanted to hang out with people who wouldn't judge me for who I am or what I look like; I would hang out with guys a lot. From what I have understood, I believe guys make fun of each other and rarely take it personally, they never judge each other or are brutal, but can be honest. Girlfriends are some of the best friends you can make, but sometimes it's hard to find the right ones. I am a girl that wasn't interested in all of the material items and everything along with that. Sometimes people see differences too closely. Living up to the expectations of three older brother and the intentions that I need to "fit in with the crowd" to be liked and respected, it made me feel the need to do the exact opposite and do what I felt was right. I wore exactly what I wanted to wear, I did what I wanted with my hair, I dye my hair different colors now.
Crayola Crayon RainbowPhoto by Alana Charboneau
It's sometimes hard to exceed expectations when it goes against what you believe feels right for yourself. Above all through this first discussion so far, I believe that self-love is really important. I was told that I must be able to love myself and be myself after the discussion. I wrote the other day, 'We ALL need that self-love to make us who we are. To help us to understand the components of being able to love everything about ourselves, flaws and all helps us to become more real and more authentic. We have the bravery and the dedication to do good; to change people's lives (and our own). Everything we preach to others never comes back around to ourselves and it's about time we start taking our own advice. This world should be full of love and opportunity. Not disgrace/hate and abandonment. If they don't matter or don't care to see you be yourself, they're not helping you.
Set yourself around positive, uplifting people because those are the only types of people that will support you through whatever you go through. Be the same for them. You can be anything and do anything you set your mind to. It's the brilliance of being human.