Gender Does Not Define Ones Societal Role

Settling Down Doesn't Have To Be My Future Because Of My Gender

Women get to control their own path.


I'm a fairly new member of adulthood and that subconsciously has me thinking about what the rest of my life holds. There is so much ahead of me, I know, but I am a planner. I like to have goals set out way ahead of time.

I've been paying extra close attention to the way the women in my life are operating and living their lives. Not to be just like them, but to see if they are happy with whatever role they've taken in society. It makes me wonder who is happy and who isn't, because above all things, I want happiness for my future. I've been working hard to have the kind of life I want for myself with no strings attached.

But while I'm watching, so are they. They see me make certain moves and they show their approval or lack of it. So many people have expectations of me. The role I would presumably take would be to finish college, get a career or not get a career because it wouldn't really matter anyway, and then definitely settle down with a man and create a great family. It is what so many people do and because I am a female, it would be normal for me to do so as well.

The more I think about it and the more I watch housewives do their thing, the more I realize that I am not cut out for that lifestyle.

I wasn't wired to let any man tell me what to do, how to live, serve him, or give him anything. When God created me, he added too much sass, drive and maybe a little narcissism. I put myself first way too often and rarely feel bad about it.

I'm not the type of person to happily take orders or clean up after anyone and I certainly wouldn't want anyone doing it for me.

I don't have anything negative to say about any women who have made it their mission to give a man a family, a home, or a happy life; It takes more patience and consideration than most jobs. I just could not see myself doing any of it. In fact, I would hate myself if I did.

I feel like I would be wasting my potential and in return, I would have to work too hard at what I don't want to do. It works for a lot, but I don't think it would for me.

I've lived my entire life watching men act superior and expecting something from the women in their lives. I grew up disgusted by the thought of being one of those women. I met every expectation, request, or favor from every uncle, cousin, and acquaintance, with an eye roll and some resentment. I hated being told what to do by guys I wasn't seriously close to. I hated feeling obligated and inferior because of my gender. I still hate all of it.

I dance to the beat of my own drum and I'm great at telling myself what to do. My logic has always been that I don't need any assistance with that. I don't owe the world-or one man living in it — anything because I am a woman. I pray I never eat these words and that if I do settle down, which I'm not against, I still have the same independence and drive I do right now.

If my mindset is the same in 30 years as it is right now, I'll be OK with that.

Cover Image Credit:

Lovianna Blackwell

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20 Rules Of A Southern Belle

It is more than just biscuits and grits.

These unwritten rules separate the people that move to the South and were born and raised in the South. If you were born and raised in a small southern town, you either are a southern belle or hope you get to marry one. Their southern charm is hard to dislike and impossible to be taught.

1. Adults are to be answered with "Yes ma’am" and "Yes sir."

Whether it’s your parents, grandparents, or the person that checks you out at the grocery store, always say yes ma’am.

2. Always write a thank you note.

For any and everything. No gesture is too small.

3. Expect a gentleman to hold the door open and pull out your chair.

Chivalry is not dead; you just need to find the right guy.

4. All tea is sweet.

Below the Mason-Dixon Line, tea is made no other way.

5. Don’t be afraid to cook with butter.

I’ve never met a good cook that didn’t giggle a little.

6. “Coke” refers to all sodas.

Here in the south, this means all types of sodas.

7. Pearls go with anything — literally anything

And every southern belle is bound to have at least one good set.

8. "If it’s not moving, monogram it."

9. Pastels are always in fashion.

And they look good on almost everyone.

10. And so is Lilly Pulitzer.

11. Curls, curls and more curls.

The bigger the hair, the closer to Jesus.

12. If you are wearing sandals, your toenails should be done.

13. Never ever ever wear white shoes, pants, dresses, or purses after Labor Day or before Easter.

Brides are the only exception. Yes we actually do follow this rule.

14. Never leave the house without lipstick.

A little mascara and lipstick can work miracles.

15. Always wear white when you walk down the aisle.

Weddings are taken very seriously here in the South, and they should be nothing but traditional.

16. Southern weddings should always be big.

The more bridesmaids the better.

17. Saturdays in the fall are reserved for college football.

Whether you spend it tailgating in that college town or watching the big game from your living room. You can guarantee that all southerner’s eyes will be glued to the game.

18. Sunday is for Jesus and resting.

19. Learn how to take compliments curiously.

20. Have class, always.

Cover Image Credit: Daily Mail

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In Case You Haven't Heard, My Body Means My Choice, So Deal With It

With all the political differences and laws trying to be passed, based on what a woman can do with her body, demonstrates how the United States decides to use their power and control others by the means of it.


Since the beginning of America, there have always been minority groups, which include African American, Hispanics, the disabled, homosexuals, and women. Such minority groups have made it their responsibility to fight for their rights and earn justice for it. However, there has recently sprung up a debate on abortion policies, attempting to alter and re-write the rules on Roe vs Wade per state to pursue when or if abortion is illegal based on certain circumstances.

Now, I am not writing this in any means to deter you from your individual opinion on this situation or your perspective, but I do believe that I have a voice in this situation since I am a woman and this situation affects me if any of you individuals like that or not. And most of all, I deserve to be heard.

Starting off, in no means should a man, government officials, or anyone for that matter be able to decide what is acceptable to do with my own individual body, EVER. How have we become a country that thinks it is more than okay to tell what others can do based on the decision of another person. See, we have this thing called bodily autonomy which means we have independence over our own body, or at least we should. A prime example of this is when an individual dies, a surgeon can not remove the person's organs (if they were an organ donor) until the designated power of attorney says it is okay to do so. However, it is apparently acceptable and illegal for someone who has become pregnant through rape or in general is unable to care for a child to receive an abortion and loses their bodily autonomy for the following 9 months. How does a corpse have more rights and bodily autonomy than a pregnant woman does today?

Currently, the state of Alabama has passed a bill that makes abortion illegal under any circumstances and committing this now known felony, can lead to a very long jail sentence. In fact, committing abortion in Alabama (for the woman or the doctor) can lead to a longer jail sentence than someone who raped another individual. Wow. How is that acceptable????

Many states are following in Alabama's lead and we need to put a stop to it before it becomes too far. We women, need to fight for achieving our bodily autonomy and band together and show America that we are a force to be reckoned with.

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