Dear future Melissa,

It's currently 1:58 PM on a rainy Monday afternoon, September 17th. I'm sitting in the North Reading Room in Melville Library writing this and reflecting upon my first three weeks here at Stony Brook. Honestly, the very beginning of college, I was feeling great, nervous but only in an excited way. I met up with all my high school friends, forming an even closer bond with them as we got dinner together every night and explored the campus freely. I was genuinely happy, because I finally had my first taste of solid independence away from my parents and hometown.

In fact, when I came home after finishing my first week of college classes, I was only temporarily happy to be back home and see my family, but then found myself missing Stony Brook in the end, and couldn't wait to come back. I'm here because I knew I needed to get away from my home life for a little bit, so I can grow as a person and know what it's like to be on my own.

What I'm excited for in these next four years is making more memories with my friends in college. I look forward to attending football games, club events, and other social events that may even involve school spirit. I'm even excited to see what more I can learn about in the classes I'm taking this semester, which are Language in the U.S., Women, Culture, and Differences, Intro to Psychology, and Precalculus. Though these classes require taking lots of notes, writing essays, and studying, I'm happy to be taking them.

They are part of the reason why I'm already starting to love college because one, I had the option to choose these courses, versus high school where I was involuntarily placed into classes I didn't like, and two, these aren't your typical standard subjects (history, science, math, English, etc.) These are genuinely topics that I am interested in, that I believe will help me become more aware of the world around me, studying languages and social justice movements in the history of this country.

I know that what may come easily to me is paying attention to what my professors are teaching and leaving the room with newfound knowledge and a different perspective on how things may work in the world. What I anticipate as a challenge is finally getting my work ethic straight. I know writing essays in college is way different than writing essays in high school because I have to put way more effort and consideration into it. I feel like every paper I write from here on out has to be genuine; I have to dedicate a few hours of my time putting in actual hard work into what I'm writing for the goal of having a high GPA in college.

Of course this is a challenge, because in high school, I never fully took any assignment I had seriously. I was never passionate about any subject I had to write for. I would start writing at the very last minute, BS the whole final draft, and turn it in, hoping to get a decent score for the lowest effort. Though in most instances it worked then, I know for a fact I can't do this here in college.

Going back to the subject of independence, I truly believe that college is the best way to help me learn how to handle living on my own as a young adult. Going away was a great investment. I'm living my daily life, without my parents telling me what to do, what to eat, without having to let them know where I'm going 24/7 or even asking permission to go somewhere. I don't know how else to describe it—it's just liberating.

In college, it's really up to you to plan out your time every day, and no one makes your decisions for you. It was my choice to eat lunch at a certain time that seemed most convenient for me, rather than my mom deciding when I should eat. Because of the endless resources that are on my campus, like the library and other studying centers, I feel the need to utilize them, as a college student who dorms, and get my work done as soon as possible, without procrastinating.

Part of the reason why I procrastinated in high school was because, at home, I didn't have the proper motivation or environment to get work done. My parents were constantly taking up most of my attention, always checking up to see what I was doing. Family life consumed my time and affected my ability to put the most effort into my academic life. That's why living in college completely fulfills me in terms of seeking independence. Here, no one makes my decisions for me and no one but me takes up my time.

I hope that towards the end of this first year, I still have a positive outlook on college life. I hope to change and grow as a student in terms of knowing to take assignments and deadlines seriously. I hope I improve my responsibility, organization, and time management skills greatly. And in the end, I hope to be more mature than I am now. These are all my goals for college, but the main one is to be more academically responsible as a student and generally responsible as a young adult.

I know I can achieve this goal once I have my priorities in order. Hopefully, this first semester won't be so bad, and if it is, then there's always next semester to think of as a second chance, a restart. Anyway, that's all! Good luck with the rest of college, future me.

Love,

Past Melissa