Dear Future Me,
If you are reading this, then you need the support. If you are reading this, something must be going on that is making you feel so small and making you feel so lost that you needed the support. If this is the case, you have come to the right person. Who else can make you feel better and give you the support other than you?
No matter what you are facing right now, nothing can be as bad as where we have come from. We lost our father when we were 20. We stayed up for 26 hours and watched as one doctor said he needed surgery and another said there was minimal brain activity. We sat and cried as we told everyone to turn off the ventilation and take out all of the tubes he was connected to. And then we helped our mother make arrangements for the funeral and stood in a "mourning line" for almost two hours, hugging and thanking everyone who came to send our father off. And then we held the funeral itself and buried him. We have never felt pain like this before, so whatever you are going through, try to remember how bad we felt then and how the healing made you feel after.
We went to college our senior year of high school and missed out on so much, but learned enormously in the process. Remember how we felt when we thought we were missing out on our senior year, but we weren't— we just missed the social interaction. We joined a sorority and fell in love with a bond like no other, and then we had to leave the same love we craved. We miss it every single day, all day long, but we were right in our decision-making. Then we transferred schools after we failed two classes. Do you remember how disappointed we felt when we found out that we failed those classes, and how we never wanted to feel that way again? We have felt small, we have been picked on, we have been used, we have lost people and kicked people out of our lives. We have cried and screamed and thrown things across the room. We have felt so small that we didn't want to move, but we thrived in spite of it all.
Despite all of our challenges and our failures, we have excelled. We have come out on top and we continue to inspire and be inspired every day. We can do whatever we set out to do, despite what other people tell us. Sometimes we just have to find that extra push to get us there though.
So, whatever you are facing now, whatever demons are touching you and making you feel less than what we both know you are, just remember where we have come from. Remember that we can and will do so much better. Whatever you are facing now, that has brought you back to the words of your 20-year-old self, remember it does not define us. You will get through it just like we got through everything else. Cry all you want and scream and fight, but don't cry for the same reason once you are done. If you need Mom, call her— don't be stubborn. She has always had our back and she always will. Although she isn't very good at telling us what to do, she makes us decide on our own. Which is very ironic because she has no problem telling everyone else what to do. And sometimes the decision is hard to make, and we feel like we are falling apart trying to decide, but do it anyway.
Whatever has brought you back in time to talk to me, just know we are going to be just fine.
I am proud of you, I support you, and I love you.