Future Me It Is Okay

To My Future Self, When You Are Struggling

No matter what you are facing right now, nothing can be as bad as where we have come from.

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Dear Future Me,

If you are reading this, then you need the support. If you are reading this, something must be going on that is making you feel so small and making you feel so lost that you needed the support. If this is the case, you have come to the right person. Who else can make you feel better and give you the support other than you?

No matter what you are facing right now, nothing can be as bad as where we have come from. We lost our father when we were 20. We stayed up for 26 hours and watched as one doctor said he needed surgery and another said there was minimal brain activity. We sat and cried as we told everyone to turn off the ventilation and take out all of the tubes he was connected to. And then we helped our mother make arrangements for the funeral and stood in a "mourning line" for almost two hours, hugging and thanking everyone who came to send our father off. And then we held the funeral itself and buried him. We have never felt pain like this before, so whatever you are going through, try to remember how bad we felt then and how the healing made you feel after.

We went to college our senior year of high school and missed out on so much, but learned enormously in the process. Remember how we felt when we thought we were missing out on our senior year, but we weren't— we just missed the social interaction. We joined a sorority and fell in love with a bond like no other, and then we had to leave the same love we craved. We miss it every single day, all day long, but we were right in our decision-making. Then we transferred schools after we failed two classes. Do you remember how disappointed we felt when we found out that we failed those classes, and how we never wanted to feel that way again? We have felt small, we have been picked on, we have been used, we have lost people and kicked people out of our lives. We have cried and screamed and thrown things across the room. We have felt so small that we didn't want to move, but we thrived in spite of it all.

Despite all of our challenges and our failures, we have excelled. We have come out on top and we continue to inspire and be inspired every day. We can do whatever we set out to do, despite what other people tell us. Sometimes we just have to find that extra push to get us there though.

So, whatever you are facing now, whatever demons are touching you and making you feel less than what we both know you are, just remember where we have come from. Remember that we can and will do so much better. Whatever you are facing now, that has brought you back to the words of your 20-year-old self, remember it does not define us. You will get through it just like we got through everything else. Cry all you want and scream and fight, but don't cry for the same reason once you are done. If you need Mom, call her— don't be stubborn. She has always had our back and she always will. Although she isn't very good at telling us what to do, she makes us decide on our own. Which is very ironic because she has no problem telling everyone else what to do. And sometimes the decision is hard to make, and we feel like we are falling apart trying to decide, but do it anyway.

Whatever has brought you back in time to talk to me, just know we are going to be just fine.

I am proud of you, I support you, and I love you.

Eternal Peace.

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.

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To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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