To The Girl Who Puts Her Future Before Anything Else

To The Girl Who Puts Her Future Before Anything Else

So live for you and only you. Be who you want to be and do what you want. Succeed like never before!
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Soon to be 20 and still have not dated anyone, kissed anyone or been with anyone. I am here to tell you that this is okay because life is not about being in a relationship all the time and I feel that our generation is so stuck on the company of a relationship and relies on it to too much that it makes them feel happy. It gives us something to lean on and a reason to love ourselves but here is the thing once you gamble on it too much at some point there will be dark spots. Since you never put in the time to live your own life and love yourself, you will not know where to go from there. So I have always been the girl who put her future first and I am okay with that. These reasons below are my reason why.

Learn to love yourself

You do not need the constant reminder that you are beautiful on a regular basis because you know your worth. You find happiness and become your own person no matter who you are. You learn to accept things about yourself without the help of another individual.

Becoming independent

You do not depend on anyone but yourself. You work hard for what you earn and no one can take that way from you.

You dream big

You dream big and fantasize about what life could bring you. You go to college and believe that there can always be a better you in the world. You do not settle for less than you know you deserve.

You are happy and accepting

I love life and maybe there are times where I have a bad day but most of the time I enjoy what I do. I am happy where I am and what I am choosing to accomplish at this point in time.

Rushing is not your style

If you have not been in a relationship for a while or even at all you begin to accept that. You do not rush into things, you wait for them to come to you. So when something does not work out, you move on because you know there is better somewhere else.

Free to be you

No one is holding you back from accomplishing your dreams or telling you what they think is best for you on a daily basis (well besides our parents, which they do know whats best). Anyways, you do not have to feel like you have to surround yourself with things you hate rather you get to indulge in what you love and the person you want to be.

In all seriousness, maybe some of these reasons do not reflect you. Maybe you feel different about not being in a relationship but what is the rush nowadays? Why is getting married so young a thing? I prefer to live a little before I settle down and by any means, I am not saying settling down is a bad thing but it comes with some restraints. I am OKAY with being the soon to be 20 years old who has never had a relationship. I just wanna live a little, go on adventures, go to college and make something out of myself. Maybe one day I will get into a relationship but I will not let it jepordise everything I have worked so hard for.

So live for you and only you. Be who you want and do what you want. Succeed like never before and if the right person comes along then they do...but do not let that take away from what you deserve.


Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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After 365 Days Together, I Can Say For Sure: You're My Person

This year has been everything I needed and more. I love you very much.

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About a year ago, we lay in my bed on a rainy Sunday morning and I asked you when you were going to make me yours. We had a conversation about the things we expected out of this proposed relationship and the things we expected of each other. We promised to take our bond seriously and to honor it at all costs. We looked at each other, knowingly, as if we could both tell this was the start of something very special.

Well, babe, we weren't wrong.

This past year has been one for the books, to say the least. We traveled the country and witnessed some insanely beautiful moments together. We endured bad days and came out stronger on the other side. We grew as individuals, and we grew as a couple. Every day is better for me just by you being a part of it.

I can't thank you enough for all you've done for me. It's the greatest feeling in the world knowing that you have someone who will love you unconditionally, no questions asked. You make me feel so secure in myself and our relationship, which is all I've ever really wanted out of sharing my life with someone. Maybe I'm biased, but I'm pretty sure our chemistry is off the charts. I've never seen two people mesh together so well. I feel like we have this connection that's so rare and so precious, I can't believe we were lucky enough to find each other this young.

The future seems scary sometimes, and I'm not sure about a lot of it. I don't know what job I'll have as an adult. I don't know where I want to end up living for the rest of my life. I don't even know my work schedule for next week yet. There's only one thing I know for certain in my bones: no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing, I can't picture myself not being by your side. You make all situations better for me.

You're undoubtedly my person.

My dream for us is to always continue to keep living and loving this way, together. I hope we never lose this undeniable chemistry and our comfortability of just being around one another. I know as we age things may change, and we may not always be as exciting and adventurous as we are at 21, but as long as you're mine, I promise to love you a little bit more every single day. As we grow and learn individually, I hope to also grow and learn as a pair. I know it takes a lot to make a relationship last, but if anyone can do it, it's absolutely going to be us.

Happy one year, my love. This life is crazy and beautiful and I wouldn't want to experience one minute of it without you. Thank you for taking me as I am, and loving me so well. This year has been everything I needed and more. I love you very much.

- Zoë

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