To The Girl Who Puts Her Future Before Anything Else

To The Girl Who Puts Her Future Before Anything Else

So live for you and only you. Be who you want to be and do what you want. Succeed like never before!

Soon to be 20 and still have not dated anyone, kissed anyone or been with anyone. I am here to tell you that this is okay because life is not about being in a relationship all the time and I feel that our generation is so stuck on the company of a relationship and relies on it to too much that it makes them feel happy. It gives us something to lean on and a reason to love ourselves but here is the thing once you gamble on it too much at some point there will be dark spots. Since you never put in the time to live your own life and love yourself, you will not know where to go from there. So I have always been the girl who put her future first and I am okay with that. These reasons below are my reason why.

Learn to love yourself

You do not need the constant reminder that you are beautiful on a regular basis because you know your worth. You find happiness and become your own person no matter who you are. You learn to accept things about yourself without the help of another individual.

Becoming independent

You do not depend on anyone but yourself. You work hard for what you earn and no one can take that way from you.

You dream big

You dream big and fantasize about what life could bring you. You go to college and believe that there can always be a better you in the world. You do not settle for less than you know you deserve.

You are happy and accepting

I love life and maybe there are times where I have a bad day but most of the time I enjoy what I do. I am happy where I am and what I am choosing to accomplish at this point in time.

Rushing is not your style

If you have not been in a relationship for a while or even at all you begin to accept that. You do not rush into things, you wait for them to come to you. So when something does not work out, you move on because you know there is better somewhere else.

Free to be you

No one is holding you back from accomplishing your dreams or telling you what they think is best for you on a daily basis (well besides our parents, which they do know whats best). Anyways, you do not have to feel like you have to surround yourself with things you hate rather you get to indulge in what you love and the person you want to be.

In all seriousness, maybe some of these reasons do not reflect you. Maybe you feel different about not being in a relationship but what is the rush nowadays? Why is getting married so young a thing? I prefer to live a little before I settle down and by any means, I am not saying settling down is a bad thing but it comes with some restraints. I am OKAY with being the soon to be 20 years old who has never had a relationship. I just wanna live a little, go on adventures, go to college and make something out of myself. Maybe one day I will get into a relationship but I will not let it jepordise everything I have worked so hard for.

So live for you and only you. Be who you want and do what you want. Succeed like never before and if the right person comes along then they do...but do not let that take away from what you deserve.


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What My Long Distance Relationship Taught Me

It definitely is not for everyone, and that is okay.

The first thing is that it is 100% not for everyone. Being at college, I can see some couples constant struggles being apart and how it has drastically changed their relationship. I am happy to say that, for some reason unbeknownst to me, my relationship is just as amazing as it was when we were in high school. But that isn't always the case and there are things I've learned while being here that I hope can shed some insight on others going through the same thing.

The biggest struggle is always having to say goodbye. The thing I've noticed is that trust is the absolute make or break it in a long distance relationship. If there is no trust there is no relationship and, while this is true even if you live close to your significant other, it is especially prominent in a long distance relationship. There is no micromanaging someone else's life, knowing their every move, or being with them if they are into going out and partying every night.

I was unsure if I would be able to deal with having someone at home while I was away. Everyone was telling me I was going to be missing out on upcoming opportunities and "the college experience" and, for a while, I bought into all of that. I didn't know what to expect from college in the first place and then to have a boyfriend at home seemed so overwhelming for me.

Little did I know that, in the end, when it came down to it, I don't think of the missed opportunities at the school... because there aren't any. I am happy in my relationship and just because I chose to go away doesn't mean what we had all had to go away.

The biggest thing we've had to learn in this process is how to say goodbye without crying a whole river. The pain we both feel when we leave each other again validates that we are doing the right thing.

If it is meant to be there is a way and do not let anyone, especially people who don't know your relationship well, tell you that what you are doing is wrong. Do what is right for you in the end.

Cover Image Credit: Maryanne Mahoney

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The 4 Tests And Trials That Can End A Relationship Almost Instantly

Can your relationship make it through the test of time?

In most relationships, if there is a spark of arguing or a slight disagreement, you are ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. We live in a world where if you don’t have the same relationship as what you see on social media and on television, then it is wrong.

However, those types of relationships are not realistic. In fact, more than half of those relationships are fake and do not last as long as what people think they do.

In a true relationship, you will go through some tests and trials, and if you do not come out stronger from those tests, that is when you must examine your relationship. There are several tests and trials that a relationship goes through to make couples stronger and whether you pass or fail those tests is up to the individual couple.

There are several examples of hardships couples face.

1. Accusations of Cheating

Couples are always accusing each other of cheating, whether it is true or not. Most relationships are broken up because of cheating and like it or not, that is not going to change.

The accusations of cheating are so high that most couples sneak a peek at each other’s phones, Facebooks and if their insecurities are low, emails. The best way to handle this is to talk it out, and if you still have a feeling that they are cheating, then let it come to light on its own.

2. Schedule Conflicts

Sometimes couples have a hard time spending time with each other, as schedules won’t permit them as much free time as they would like. Therefore, relationships could suffer because loneliness can take over. When male or females are lonely and they know they have someone they cannot be with, they may as well be alone.

In my opinion, make designated date days and spend as much time on the phone as possible when you cannot be together in person. With all of this technology, there is no way you should go long periods of time without some type of interaction with your significant other.

3. Jealousy

Jealousy is generally the number one reason relationships fall apart. Jealousy can be on the part of one party or both. Jealousy can be caused by a number of reasons, which are hard to explain, and if one party is jealous of another person because they are getting attention from their significant other, that could cause the jealous party to change the way they look and act to get the attention back from their partner.

However, this could cause problems because your partner did not fall for the way you are trying to be, but the way you were. I say do not change the way you are but address the real reason why your partner is being distracted.

4. The Spark Is Fading/Lost

In some cases, relationships are just getting dull, boring and need some spark. Depending on how long you have been with your significant other, you may need to recreate some of your favorite moments of when you first started dating. You could also maybe consider marrying him/her if you see this person as your lifelong partner.

Relationships are not easy and take more work then what people realize, and if you are not committed to the relationship, you may have to be by yourself. There are some relationships that are not meant to be, and if you are having trouble with your relationship, examine how much you really love him/her.

If you are willing to be loyal to your significant other, you will endure some of the average unfortunate circumstances that you will encounter.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

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