Fulfillment lies in the soul in which you are. It is in the discovery of your beauty and of your greatest strengths. It is in the sun that rises and sets within you: its light hoping to glisten and glimmer against your possibilities.

Fulfillment is something we all yearn for. In the midst of loneliness and vacancy. We search for it in self-help books, in friends, or if you’re anything like me, within romantic relationships. We search for it in our jobs, in the idea of a new home, and in our bank accounts. We search for fulfillment everywhere, in every avenue. Sometimes though, we fail to look within.

What brought me to this moment was an intimate emotion: that of desolation. Over time, I purposely sought to isolate myself out of fear. I was afraid if I got too close to anyone, and I mean anyone, it would only provide for an opportunity to get hurt. So I shut out everyone but one person: my last partner.

In doing so, I found that the feelings of pain and hurt still followed me. I could not leave them with the outside world, for these emotions were deeply embedded within me. Even by removing every person from my life, I was not able to avoid pain and become whole in the way that I was hoping for. Instead, all I felt was a defeating emptiness. The emptiness mocked me in my sleep. In films and in sitcoms. In my friends and in their families. Everyone on my television and in my real life looked fulfilled within their relationships. What was I missing?

And then it dawned on me: I’ve been searching for fulfillment in romantic relationships because that’s where I believed true fulfillment resided. When in fact, true fulfillment is the acknowledgement, understanding, and the unconditional loving of the self. The loving of my flaws, of my laughter, of my mistakes, and of my willingness to try again. To love these things, to love ourselves, is to love in our own light.

Fulfillment lies in the sweetest of memories. It lies in the “I’m so proud of you” ‘s and the “you did it!” ‘s. Fulfillment lies in the ability to recognize our talents. In our silver and in our gold. It lies in knowing that you are all you ever need.

To my last and all past partners, I feel a great sense of appreciation. You have all taught me that in order to truly find happiness, to truly be fulfilled, I must first love myself. It’s a course I’ve yet to travel, but it is one I am willing to tread. Though shy, though timid, and though scared out of my mind I know that I am searching for the sun to shine against my gentle flowers. I am searching for its light to pronounce me as whole.

We can often times find ourselves in this position, where we are praying, hoping for anything to pronounce us as whole. Praying and hoping on anything to mark us as complete. To fill our voids, to ease our sorrows, and to make us at one again. However, due to the gifts of growth and of time, I now see that we are all both the flowers and the sun. We are both the moon and the tide. We are the stillness in the air on early mornings and the warmth of the seasons all in one.

For those of us who have felt vacant in searching for fulfillment, we may have been looking externally for that sense of satisfaction. Within our past, within what was. But now, I realize that the light lies within us all. True fulfillment lies within the self. We are free, we are powerful, we are wonderful, and we are strong. And more than anything, in acknowledging that the light exists within us, a path illuminates from out of the darkness, awaiting our true and unwavering greatness.