I was a victim of mental abuse, and I didn't even know it.
When the realization set in, I was uneasy. I felt like the rug had been lifted up from under me. Had I been mentally abused?
It was a bright, fall day. The leaves were rustling around, the wind was howling through the buildings, and the trees were covered in bright, autumn colors.
My mind was wandering off, thinking about the relationship I was in that destroyed me mentally, and I didn't even notice. I was thinking about the days where I never knew why I felt the way I did. I never could point my finger as to why he had the power over my mind to alter my thoughts.
I realized I gave him the key to my mind.
I trusted this man in my life. I trusted that he had my best interest. I trusted that he was telling me the truth (for the most part). I trusted that he wanted the same thing as me. I trusted that he would love me. I trusted that he would take care of me. I gave him my all.
Until, I sat there staring out at this autumn day, wondering where I let him control my mind. He would tell me that I was never enough. He would tell me that I was far from perfect. He would tell me I needed to give him more of my love and trust. He would tell me I needed to assist him with everything in life or I wasn't a ride or die. He would argue his point until I genuinely would apologize thinking it was my fault. He altered my mind into thinking these things were normal.
These are just a few of the many, but ladies, take it from me, RUN.
Obviously, I was wrapped around his finger, caught in this awful mess. I was wondering how I let myself become a victim of mental abuse without even knowing it.
And that is why I am writing this.
No matter how bad or good you think a situation is, you need to make sure that is truly how it is. Many times, we find ourselves sacrificing our own values or ourselves when we find a significant other. Many couples get comfortable and view the relationship as "rocky" if this first occurs, but long-term we realize it is not OK. Whatsoever.
This is not OK because no one should be treated like this. No one in this world deserves to feel like a victim of mental abuse because they allowed another human being to drive them to this point in their mind.
When you start questioning who you are, who shaped you to be this way, and where you are headed, it is the key start.
Observing behaviors, talking out situations, and remembering your worth are some of the most important things. Although you may not think diminishing a person is mental abuse, it is.
Whether you are calling someone "not good enough" repeatedly or making them believe they are the issue, you need to realize that it is not OK.
No single human being should ever alter another person's mind and manipulate it into a mental abuse situation.
To all the victims of mental abuse, reach out for help because we are all human and it can happen to anyone, even if we are least expecting it.