When it comes to sexual consent in this barbaric, modern-day society, many believe that what we wear defines the attention that we receive from the opposite sex. Asking questions such as "Well, what were you wearing?" or "What did you expect?" not only imply that a stitch of cloth defines our sexual consent, but it also makes it difficult for the young women to come forward, if they had been sexually abused, who did not give sexual consent.

Sexual abuse, cat-calling, and hypersexualization happen at any time, no matter what the young woman may be wearing. It happens in our homes, the workplace, out on the street, in our local restaurants and bars... it has no boundaries. Yet, hundreds, if not thousands, of people believe that exposing skin via our outfits is what gains men access to our bodies.

Here's what I think: The issue with cat-calling and hypersexualization has everything to do with the MAN, not the WOMAN. How you perceive women has nothing to do with what we choose to wear or how much skin we may show. Why does the confidence of young woman bother men so bad? Why do our clothes make you feel threatened or entitled?

We are not asking for men to grope us.

We are not asking for men to force themselves upon us.

We are not asking for men to whistle and yell out at us as if we are animals.

We are dressing for the confidence of ourselves and because what we choose to wear makes us feel good about OURSELVES, not about how we will be perceived by men.

From slipping on uncomfortable shoes to squeezing into bodycon dresses...yes, beauty is pain but beauty is also confidence. Young women look to feel confident in what they wear and if that means wearing something that is considered “revealing,” then so be it!

A great example of where this mentality stems from is the media itself. The media does a great job of sexualizing women and making men seem as if they are the victim and we, as women, are at fault for choosing to dress the way we do. It is showcased in TV shows, commercials, and even videos, articles, and forums online. Consistently brainwashing individuals into thinking that women must always dress modestly if they do not want to receive the negative attention that they do.

Let me tell you something, I was walking into Walmart in sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and some fur boots. My hair was in a messy bun and I had no makeup on whatsoever. Yet, I hear from across the parking lot, “EXCUSE ME, MISS. HOW YOU DOIN'?!” To which I continued to carry on with my planned endeavors and ignore the ignorance that was being barked at me from across a Walmart parking lot.

Despite the disheartening close-mindedness of Americans in this society, it should be made aware that violating sexual consent happens anywhere, at any time. Gretchen Carlson, who experienced sexual harassment in the workplace, started investigating workplace sexual harassment and begun to hear stories in the last year about women who would want a well-deserved promotion or an office by the window, yet were met with remarks such as, “Get up on the desk and spread em’,” writing down the sexual favors the woman could do for their boss, or words such as,”Did you bring your knee pads.”

“Sexual harassment does not discriminate,” Carlson says, “You can wear a skirt, hospital scrubs, army fatigues. You can be young or old, married or single, black or white. You can be a Republican, Democrat, or independent.”

The fact of the matter is, it does not matter what you wear, what you look like, your preferences or the lifestyle that you lead, the violation of sexual consent can rear its ugly head at any given moment.

We do not give men permission to touch us, hurt us, violate us, or traumatize us based on the clothing that we wear. It’s time to start realizing that this is an issue that has to do with MEN, not the WOMEN they so desperately gawk at and sexualize with their eyes and mind. It’s time to teach young men, as well as older men, how to treat women with respect and realize that what we wear has no concern to your negative sexual habits.

These young men who continuously sexualize women, cat-call, or even grope, can turn into criminal offenders in the laws of sexual harassment and rape. Is this what we want to raise? Sexual harassers and rapists? No, boys will NOT be boys. It’s time to end that stigma NOW. The longer we continue to keep up this charade through rose-colored glasses, the more women will remain silent and feel as if we are the suspects and the men will always be the victim.

Remember that saying: If you say something to someone long enough, they’ll begin to believe it?

Think of how the thousands, if not millions of women feel around the world when they are constantly fed the narrative of the correlation between what they choose to wear and their sexual consent. We begin to believe what is told to us. We begin to stay silent until someone gives us a voice, but it is up to US, young women, to give ourselves our OWN voice. To SPEAK UP AND RISE UP against any and all verbal and physical hate that may be thrown our way. We are stronger than we think and this is a battle that we can all overcome.

Hold your head high and wear your clothes with confidence. Yes, it may be uncomfortable to have men staring at us as if we are their next meal, but you walk past them with the confidence and knowledge of knowing that YOU are in control, not THEM!

Peace and blessings to all.