One Saturday, I was finishing up work. Once I got off, I went straight to my ride (which was my mom at the time) and when I got in, she gave me a thick envelope addressed from Southern Miss. Before I move forward, let me tell you about myself. When I was a senior in high school, I decided to be a nurse. I felt that was my calling in life. I received scholarships and awards and proceeded to community college. I worked hard and I got the things I wanted because of it. Last year was the year I had to apply for Southern Miss's nursing school. My best friend and I double checked our admissions envelope twenty different times to make sure we had everything. We walked in, handed it to the staff, and walked right back out knowing the future was literally out of our hands now. I was confident, but still nervous. This is something I wanted badly, and I knew I gave it my all. Time to wait for the letter!
Now back to the envelope in the car. I was scared. I was excited. I did not want to open it. All the typical 'what ifs' were running through my mind and finally I just ripped it open. "We regret to inform you that you are on the waiting list." Those 12 words were going to be implanted in my head for the rest of my life.
Did I cry? Of course. I could not stop. My future was a "maybe." I worked so hard for this even despite all the family problems I have had and other misfortunes...I worked hard for this. I never wanted any of that to stand in the way of my future, but what did I get? I got a "maybe." Now I have to hope. Hope that I get a call saying there is a spot for me in the school. People always tell you to stay positive and you try even if it is hard, you try because hm, maybe they are right. I need to quit beating myself down and just wait hopefully and positively.
Today is July 22, 2016 and I am crying as I am typing this article. I still haven't gotten a call, but many others have. I want to give up. I have to sit here and re-apply for the spring semester. I know I sound selfish because others did not even get in and here I am lucky to have this wait list spot, but when you scroll through and see how people have gotten that lucky phone call and you are sitting here packing because you leave in two weeks, you realize you did not get in. This is my no. I can cry too. I can be upset too. I have every right to.
But, as much as I am sad about this, I am angry.
I am angry. Why? I worked hard and did not get in. What am I going to do about it? I am going to kick some serious butt. I am not going to let one letter stop me from doing what I want to do with my life. I know I can do this. So what if I have one setback? Walt Disney used to work for a newspaper and they fired him because he wasn't creative enough. Oprah was fired from a TV news station. J.K. Rowling got rejected the first time around. I got wait-listed and now it's time for me to go be the best d*mn nurse I can be...the second time around! Southern Miss better get ready because I want this and I am ready to prove it.
From the Girl On the Waiting List.