Hey All Extroverts,

I love your outgoing excitement and bubbly persona. I truly do. Sometimes, though, I feel like you are not completely sure of how I, an introvert, process every situation completely differently than you do. I am often misunderstood and judged as being antisocial or quiet, but that is not entirely the case. The Land of Introverts and The Land of Extroverts are undeniably on opposite sides of the personality spectrum, but I’m going to try to bridge the gap and allow you to step on over in an introvert’s mind to help you understand what makes us tick a bit better.

There’s no doubt about it: I am a die-hard introvert. Contrary to popular belief, I have excellent social skills, and I am not exactly what you would call "shy." I love deep conversations and hearing other people’s passions about what ignites interest within their souls. I am content being with a single person or a small group setting and talking about what the meaning of life is or what lies ahead in the future. I don’t mind going out to parties and socializing for a while, but there is something I must confess. People are tiring for me.

The physical act of being around people for more than a few hours at a time drains the life, energy and excitement right out of me. The idea of going out and spending time with people at first seems appealing, and it is fun for the first few hours I’m there. Soon after arriving, however, I begin to feel drained and a bit overwhelmed in the large crowd. My eyes quickly dart, trying in vain to find the nearest exit. The last thing I want to do is continue making dreaded small talk that I absolutely hate. There comes a point at every social gathering where the realization hits me that I’m beginning to feel alone even though there’s a room full of people surrounding me. That’s when I know it’s time for me to go. In all honesty, I’d take spending some time with a close group of friends over being crammed into a party full of strangers any day. All I truly want to do is go home, recharge, and spend some much needed time alone. It’s nothing personal when I suddenly withdraw or seem to sink into the corner. I just really need to recharge; I burn out easily.

In school, I’ve always been described as the “quiet” kid who never has anything to say unless she has to. Although I am soft-spoken, I have extremely strong, deep-rooted opinions on nearly everything. Trust me, I have a lot to say. Simply put, I need to think before I speak. Working up the courage and getting what I want to say just right in my head is extremely important to me, even though it is time-consuming and may not make sense to others at times. I oftentimes have trouble voicing my opinions because I take on the role of a listener more than a talker. Oversharing is not one of my problems, for I often find it difficult to share much of my personal life at all. Even with a group of close friends, opening up presents itself as a challenge, making my skin crawl and sweat beads drip down my forehead. It may take a while, but once I get comfortable with someone, I slowly but surely am able to inch myself out of my protective shell and start sharing pieces of myself. All great things take time, right?

As an extrovert, I know you feed your soul by interacting with every person you possibly can. This is how you stimulate yourself and thrive, but this is not the case with other fellow introverts and me. I’m not exactly what you call great at thinking on my feet as you are. When taken by surprise and not given enough chance to evaluate my surroundings or gather my thoughts, I panic. My head becomes jumbled and my mind does not allow my mouth to utter words. Conflict is one thing that makes me itchy and uncomfortable, and I like to avoid it like the plague at any cost. All of my decisions are cautiously made, and I absolutely cannot rush my thought process when I am thrown into any type of situation. Although I may seem calm and collected on the outside, what’s going on inside my brain is the complete opposite. I’ll spend the next week over-thinking, analyzing, and nit-picking about every word that I said and how I could’ve handled the situation differently if I’d just been given more time to think.

Group discussion and group projects. Sigh. These two things alone are anxiety-provoking enough to keep my mind up at night for hours. I tend to shut down when I feel like my voice isn't being heard or my ideas aren't being considered. I’d rather have time to gather my thoughts and participate by writing my responses down so that I know they are expressed exactly how I wish them to be. I am better at communicating through writing my words than in person because it allows me to have time alone with my thoughts. I do my best work in a quiet environment by myself rather than in one that’s noisy and bustling. It’s not likely that I feel bored and restless in my own company, and I find myself easily distracted when my environment around me is excessively stimulating. With so much stimuli around me, I often notice even the most minute detail. As I am zoning out from the activity around me, I am able to process the little details surrounding me that most would miss. Introspection, as scary as it may be sometimes, is what I need to thrive and keep myself grounded.

Although I’m not always the life of the party, please stop mistaking me as being shy. It is not as though I fear social encounters and completely write them off in my mind, but I instead prefer solitary activities. I tend to observe before I decide to participate. Sometimes, the world just gets too loud and all that is needed is a quiet space to think.

Although other fellow introverts and I are sometimes tough to crack, I promise that we are worth it. We have thoughts, talents and energy to offer you, and it is always easier to open up and offer our ideas when we feel understood. While you extroverts may get antsy at the thought of sitting down and curling up with a cup of tea and some Netflix by yourself, this alone down time is what introverts crave and require to keep going.

I am not always talkative. I am not always enthusiastic. I am not always assertive. I assure you that I am not boring. I am not less confident. I am not shy.

I am a listener. I am a preparer. I am a writer. I am a thinker. I am completely comfortable enjoying my own company.

I am an introvert.