Friends With Benefits: Heartbreak Or Full Of Satisfaction?

Friends With Benefits: Heartbreak Or Full Of Satisfaction?

The truth behind figuring out if friends with benefits is for you.

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The time has come in our lives where hooking up with people is the norm. Ranging from random frat party make-outs to tinder match dates ending up at their place. Whether you are into it or not, the hookup culture is constantly swarming around college campuses. What is the big deal anyway? We are humans and have our biological needs to be met. But what if you felt like a part of you was left with the person every time you hook up with someone? Would you end up feeling empty and guilty or full of life and contented?

This is both to the people who find joy in a little spontaneous rendezvous, and the ones who prefer to not partake in the typical college hookup culture. Both are completely normal, and both sides are not alone. Everyone experiences college in their own way. If not having sex is something that you want to keep in your personal experience, then more power to you. And if you want to find someone to casually hook up with is also a well-endowed experience. Sex is something that everyone should interpret in their own way. Whatever someone wants to do with their own body is their business and not up for debate with anyone else.

College comes with many ups and downs. With grades slipping halfway through the semester and friends becoming distant, we are always looking for a connection. Having a friend who you trust and becoming friends with benefits can help people relieve stress, experience a newly found form of yourself, and find what you find important in a partner. The casual hook up scene is abundant in college and finding a friend to hook up with is not a difficult task. Casual sex is not talked about and is seen as a disgraceful thing to most people, when in reality it is just people experimenting with their sexuality and finding what fulfills them in a sexual sense.

To become attached to a friend-with-benefits partner is one sticky situation. You have no control over what they do outside of with you, and if it comes with no strings the situation can become messy in an instant. Messy situations call for a few questions to be discussed before you and your friend carry on with the arrangement. Do you want there to be strings? Are you more attached than you thought? Should the two of you take the next step to a monogamous relationship? So many questions to be answered to make sure that what you are doing is worth it and if it turns out isn't really for you.

For some people, mot having friends with benefits helps boost their self-esteem and allow them to value sex in a committed relationship. While on the other end having a sexual relationship with a friend can bring a new sense of self confidence that was lacking before the relationship partook. Becoming sexually confident and awaken can help any college student break out of their shell. Before you become more open with that part of yourself, you need to look deep down and see if you are ready for not only that type of open relationship with another person. If you are ready to open that side of yourself, you may be ready to have a friends-with-benefits or take part in casual hookups, if not then take time to figure out if that is what you want to do. At the end of the day they don't say college years, no matter what you engage in, are the best for nothing.

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Snapchat Has Become The Newest Dating App Of Our Generation

"Can I get your snap?"

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In this day in age, everyone has the app Snapchat and if you don't, you might be missing out on the biggest dating opportunity of our time. The app Snapchat was originally used to send ten-second photos of yourself to your chosen friends but in recent years it has grown to become a source of communication for dating. People would rather hand out their Snapchat usernames rather than their real phone number.

Snapchat was originally used to do brief communication with your closest friends. You can only send quick pictures of yourself or whatever is around you and only put very few words on a picture. Does that sound like a quality conversation to you? That's because it isn't. Dating has become more and more online in the past few years which has caused this growth in Snapchat being used for this sole purpose. People can easily put this picture perfect life on Snapchat and only capture their best selves. You don't even have bios on Snapchat so the person knows less about you than on any other dating app, only what you choose to share in those ten-second photos.

The use of Snapchat in dating has changed dating altogether. It has caused it to become less conversational and more about a game. Once giving or receiving a person's Snapchat, people always feel like the other person should always respond first because it shows that they care but if they don't it shows that they are not interested. Even when they do send a Snapchat, it's always about the waiting game. If you respond too quickly, then you look desperate but wait too long then it looks like you're not interested. People also give out Snapchats rather than phone numbers because of its lack of ties. If you give someone your Snap it means they might be interested but only give the phone number if you know them really well and want to potentially date them. It is always about the game when it comes to Snapchat dating and if you play the game wrong, then you end up getting ghosted.

With this new online dating world, people are able to ghost a person easier than in real life. Ghosting is when you are talking to someone and out of the blue, they drop all communication with you and never speak to you again. Sorry ladies if you got ghosted recently but it actually happens more often then some would think due to online dating. People are easily able to un-add people on social media and ignore their messages.

While Snapchat is a great app to communicate with friends, the use of it as a source of dating and getting to know someone is questionable. People use it to try and get to know people which it lacks because of its limited ways to communicate. So the next time someone asks you, "Can I get your Snap," just know the purpose behind it is not what you may think.

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