Friends With Benefits: Heartbreak Or Full Of Satisfaction?

Friends With Benefits: Heartbreak Or Full Of Satisfaction?

The truth behind figuring out if friends with benefits is for you.

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The time has come in our lives where hooking up with people is the norm. Ranging from random frat party make-outs to tinder match dates ending up at their place. Whether you are into it or not, the hookup culture is constantly swarming around college campuses. What is the big deal anyway? We are humans and have our biological needs to be met. But what if you felt like a part of you was left with the person every time you hook up with someone? Would you end up feeling empty and guilty or full of life and contented?

This is both to the people who find joy in a little spontaneous rendezvous, and the ones who prefer to not partake in the typical college hookup culture. Both are completely normal, and both sides are not alone. Everyone experiences college in their own way. If not having sex is something that you want to keep in your personal experience, then more power to you. And if you want to find someone to casually hook up with is also a well-endowed experience. Sex is something that everyone should interpret in their own way. Whatever someone wants to do with their own body is their business and not up for debate with anyone else.

College comes with many ups and downs. With grades slipping halfway through the semester and friends becoming distant, we are always looking for a connection. Having a friend who you trust and becoming friends with benefits can help people relieve stress, experience a newly found form of yourself, and find what you find important in a partner. The casual hook up scene is abundant in college and finding a friend to hook up with is not a difficult task. Casual sex is not talked about and is seen as a disgraceful thing to most people, when in reality it is just people experimenting with their sexuality and finding what fulfills them in a sexual sense.

To become attached to a friend-with-benefits partner is one sticky situation. You have no control over what they do outside of with you, and if it comes with no strings the situation can become messy in an instant. Messy situations call for a few questions to be discussed before you and your friend carry on with the arrangement. Do you want there to be strings? Are you more attached than you thought? Should the two of you take the next step to a monogamous relationship? So many questions to be answered to make sure that what you are doing is worth it and if it turns out isn't really for you.

For some people, mot having friends with benefits helps boost their self-esteem and allow them to value sex in a committed relationship. While on the other end having a sexual relationship with a friend can bring a new sense of self confidence that was lacking before the relationship partook. Becoming sexually confident and awaken can help any college student break out of their shell. Before you become more open with that part of yourself, you need to look deep down and see if you are ready for not only that type of open relationship with another person. If you are ready to open that side of yourself, you may be ready to have a friends-with-benefits or take part in casual hookups, if not then take time to figure out if that is what you want to do. At the end of the day they don't say college years, no matter what you engage in, are the best for nothing.

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Signs You're An INFJ, The World's Rarest Personality Type

INFJ, from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator instrument, is believed to be the rarest personality type, and to make up less than 2% of the population. Oh, and I am one.
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INFJ, referring to one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, has become a bit of a buzzword in the media over the past several years. The reason behind it: INFJ is considered to be the rarest personality type, making up less than 2% of the world's entire population. They are labeled as "The Advocate," and have been described as "mysterious," "intuitive," and "emotionally intelligent," yet the type as a whole is often misunderstood.

Oh, and I am one. Perhaps you are, as well.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test, created in the 1940's by mother and daughter, Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs, originally stems from the typological theories of Carl Jung, a prominent psychoanalyst. The test assesses an individual in 4 categories: Extroversion vs. Introversion, Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Judging vs. Perceiving, and using these criteria, determines which category one’s personality most tilts toward. INFJs would be those individuals whose personalities favor the sides of Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

INFJs can be difficult to spot due to the fact that they are not prevalent in society and tend to be reserved individuals. However, INFJs make fiercely loyal friends, empathetic and organized workers, and exceptional leaders for causes they deem worthy and for the greater good of humanity.

INFJs often report feeling lonely and "different," and for good reason. INFJs are low in numbers so they tend to have trouble finding others who see the world in the same realm as they do. Most people who are this type have admitted feeling different from their peers since they were a very young child.

INFJs take an all-or-nothing approach to life. INFJs, a curious mix of emotional and logical, do not like to waste their time on anything inauthentic. Although they may dabble with playing the field, INFJs are truly about quality over quantity and will become disinterested in anyone or anything they perceive as being fraudulent, scheming or wishy-washy.

INFJs exude warmness, and others immediately feel comfortable in their presence. It is not uncommon for a stranger to sit down next to an INFJ and within minutes, disclose their most personal secrets, fears and dreams. In fact, this happens frequently to INFJs with seemingly no rhyme or reason. This personality type has a knack for making others immediately feel at ease, and they are great listeners and trusted confidants who speak in human terms and meet others where they are.

INFJs are somewhat empathic, and they tend to "just know" things. One of my favorite one-liners from Game of Thrones is by the character, Tyrion Lannister, "I drink and I know things," and this can often be said of an INFJ, with maybe fewer libations. INFJs have a highly-accurate sense of intuition that they have been sharpening for all of their lives. Without understanding exactly why or how, an INFJ will see, within minutes of meeting an individual, their true character. As a result, they tend to be more forgiving of their friends who exhibit unruly behavior because they can identify the true root of the behavior, such as insecurities or past trauma.

INFJs ultimately seek genuine truth and meaning. This personality type does not care one iota about grandiose tales or extravagant gestures if there is not a true and genuine motive behind them. An INFJ’s calling in life is to seek insight and understanding, and as they develop, they often can spot a lie or half-truth in a moment's notice. If they believe an individual to be a phony or a manipulator, they will have no trouble writing them off. Likewise, this type often enjoys traveling, adventures and experiences that heighten their understanding of the intricacies of life and promote self-reflection.

INFJs are true introverts, yet people not very close to them believe them to be extroverts. This happens because INFJs can be social chameleons and have an innate ability to blend in in any social setting. The INFJ can be the life of the party for a night or two, showcasing their inviting nature and vivaciousness. However, this is never prolonged because, in introverted-fashion, they lose energy from others. Those close to an INFJ know that this type prefers bars over clubs and barbecues over balls, and can give a speech to thousands of people but cringes at the idea of mingling with the crowd afterward. Eventually, this type will need to retreat home for some quiet time to "recharge their batteries," or they will become very on-edge and exhausted.

INFJs have intense, unwavering convictions, sometimes to a fault. An INFJ has certain ideas about the world and a need to foster change in society. These are deep-seated and intense beliefs that they will never abandon. If a career, relationship, or law does not align with their moral compass, an INFJ will have no qualms about ignoring it or leaving it in the dust.

INFJs tend to keep a small circle of friends and prefer to work alone. Although an INFJ may have hundreds of acquaintances, if they call you a "friend," you can be sure that they mean it for life. This type can count their close friends on a set of fingers and they will be loyal and devoted to these prized individuals no matter how much time passes between their interactions. An INFJ can be a great team player but the idea of group projects and collaboration meetings naturally make them sink down in their seat. These are people who enjoy working from home or in a quaint office with a handful of like-minded coworkers.

INFJs cannot stand small talk. This trait aligns with the need to pursue truth and all things bona fide. To an INFJ, small talk not only takes energy, but has little purpose as it is merely speaking to fill silence without revealing any deeper layers of the individuals involved. Do not talk to an INFJ about the weather unless you want to see a glazed-over look. Instead, tell them about the causes you are promoting, the wish-list of your soul, or the way you smile every time you smell lavender because it reminds you of your great grandmother.

INFJs are typically high-achievers and people-pleasers. If you want a task done right the first time, hand it over to an INFJ. They will plan every detail down to the minute and will always deliver a glowing finished product. However, when delivering criticism to this type, do it gently, as they take every word to heart and are always striving for perfection. This type is a unique blend of a dreamer and a doer, but they can easily fall prey to extreme bouts of anxiety or depression centered on feelings of inadequacy or failure.

INFJs are gifted in language and are often creative writers. In accordance with their introverted nature, INFJs prefer to spend time alone and develop enriched inner-lives with many hobbies and skills. This type has trouble conveying their emotions verbally, so they turn to pen and paper. This, combined with their creative nature, leaves no surprise that the majority of successful writers are, in fact, INFJs.

INFJs make decisions based off of emotion and insight. An INFJ judges the world around them and the people in it based off of how they make them feel. This type does not care about track records and performance history, instead they look for the heart of the matter and how a person or company treats them personally. This type will trust their "gut feeling" about a situation and go with that, which has almost always proven to be accurate.

INFJs like to reflect on deep thoughts about their purpose and the world around them. This type is a thinker. INFJs are old-souls who spend a lot of time in their own minds reflecting on their purpose and the meaning behind everything that happens to them. They are often readers, researchers and intellectuals who truly enjoy learning. Although this is a noble endeavor, it is essential that the INFJ has friends, typically of the extroverted type, who can help them to be less serious and relax every now and then.

INFJs are visionaries who always see the big picture. This type tends to always operate about ten steps ahead. They are skilled planners and focus their sights on the end goal and what is needed to propel them there. However, while INFJs are off in dreamland about their futures, they can sometimes forget to be present in the world that is happening now. As a result, they do well with other more grounded types who can remind them to live in the moment.

INFJs are "fixers," and they gravitate towards people who need help. This type loves a good fixer-upper and with their ability to see the "good bones" of another person, their true motives and intentions, and to readily provide comfort and compassion, they fall victim to the Broken Wing Theory, or the idea that they can rescue others who have a "broken wing," or who have been dealt a poor hand. This can be rewarding for the hopeful INFJ but also frustrating and depleting when boundaries are overstepped.

INFJs seek lifelong, true-blue relationships. This type usually finds themselves with intuitive extroverts, such as the ENTPs, ENFPs, and ENFJs. These types connect with the INFJ on the deeper plane of intuition, yet also will get the INFJ out of their own heads and out on the town on a Saturday night.

Think you might be an INFJ? Find out which type you are here: https://www.mbtionline.com/.

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I Asked 11 People To Tell Me Their Worst Date Experiences, And These Are Their Stories

Vulgarity, awkwardness, and embarrassment ahead. Read with caution.

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Let's face it, my fellow millennials... dating is fucking hard. There are creeps, assholes, cheapskates, gold diggers, and there are people just looking to get into your pants and leave. It's a wild world out there in the dating pool, and I've asked 11 people to share with me their worst ever dates. Here's what they had to say...

1. Magen, 28

"I went to see a movie with this guy I was lukewarm about. He was excited about the movie and told me it looked really good. Turns out it's a horror film where the protagonists are all being murdered by a young woman/poltergeist that appears in photos before killing them. Then it turns out that everyone that died gang-raped and murdered the young woman. Then after the movie, he asked me to get in the back seat: No. Then he tried to make out with me: No. When I said I wanted to go home he drove in silence for the whole 20 minutes. A week later he messaged me that if I converted to Islam we could get married. So, basically, he was a psycho."

2. Emma, 20

"I once went over a guy's house for a second date with him. The first was two days before, and it was a blind date, so I didn't really know him well. When I got to his house, we went up to his room to watch 'Up.' His room was filthy. He had dirty socks, underwear, and clothes everywhere. His bed was unmade, too. I sat up and leaned against his headboard as he sat about a foot away from me, awkwardly leaning back on his elbows. After the movie was over, I made up an excuse to leave, saying I had to clean my house for my mom. He walked me to my car and kissed me out of nowhere. He then proceeded to ask me to officially be his girlfriend. I told him that we should go on more dates and see where it goes from there. I drove back to my house and when I got home, I texted him and told him I didn't see it going anywhere."

3. Emily, 25

"A guy asked me to lick his asshole in the middle of dinner."

4. Michael, 25

"I was walking up to a restaurant and just happened to walk past my date when she was snorting Xanax in her car. I turned right around and drove to Wendy's and got a Baconator."

5. Lily, 22

"On my first date with a guy, I drove him to Sonic. He flirted with the waitress and I had to pay for both of our meals because he was 'trying to be more careful with his money.'"

6. Anonymous, 23

"I met a man online to be my new sugar daddy. We only talked for a day and he wanted to meet at the mall. So the morning of I texted him where exactly and he told me to meet at a bar/restaurant. I show up in a t-shirt and white/gray floral workout leggings. We're making awkward small talk. He's telling me about the girls he tried to see before how they all ghosted him and he didn't know why. He was a very attractive man in a rich industry so I was excited to be pretty high on his list. Twenty-five mins into it, I have to use the bathroom. I was feeling crampy all day and knew my period was coming. I excuse myself to the bathroom and walk away. As soon as I get into the restroom, I look in the mirror and see a HUGE bloody stain on my ass. I'm EMBARRASSED. I try to dab as much blood out as possible and shove toilet paper in my underwear to use as a pad. I cover my butt with my sweatshirt and walk back to my seat. Luckily the seat was black so it didn't show but I could see a damp spot. He didn't notice I don't think but I needed to change so I suggested we walk around the mall. I tell him I'm gonna run to my car for something then meet back up with him. I found some black leggings in my trunk and change. I met up with him again and he noticed the change but didn't say anything. After we walked around we went back to his car and he gave me $100. He said he wanted to see me again a few days later. The day came to hang out and HE ghosted me."

7. Marilyn, 23

"A boy I met off Tinder took me to a generic, less nice, knock-off of Olive Garden, bought me dinner and then went and watched a movie with his parents. Leans over to me, whispers 'You should take my virginity because I bought you dinner.' His parents asked what he said because I made a weird face and then left."

8. Bree, 26

"I went to see a movie (the first 'Fantastic Beasts') and the guy spent the entire movie talking about how 'his woman' shouldn't work and how he wanted someone to service him. Not the previews. The actual movie itself. No second date, although he texted me every day for a month after."

9. Mia, 20

"I was 15 and I met this guy and we went to a play and then to get dessert. Since neither of us could drive my parents dropped him off at his house after dessert and he kissed me on the forehead and said I love you as he left the car IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. I had met him like once before."

10. Annie, 21

"We went to see 'Mission Impossible: Fall Out.' He didn't like it, so we left 20 minutes into the movie. We went to go get food (Bonbon Sushi), he made fun of my order, spent the entire date making weird jokes that were definitely not 'first date' type jokes (ex. 'I can tell you're gonna be a handful, figuratively and literally'), told me I was too nice (in a bad way), and that he was mean. I said I don't really like mean, even if it's just joking. He drove me home, asked me to RATE THE DATE (WTF). I said, 'I don't know, I don't really want to do that.' He said, 'Well, I'm asking you to be honest.' I said, 'okay...well...I guess a seven then.' I was being generous. He said, 'Seven?! What could I have done better?' I said, 'Honestly, primarily just being nicer. It's a first date, don't you want to put your best foot forward?' He laughed in my face, said, 'Well, this isn't going to work out then,' and DROVE AWAY! I thought, 'well, at least he knows it wasn't a good date.' Two days later, he texts me asking for a second date..."

11. Ash, 21

"We were friends and then started dating. The relationship was really short-lived and ended up being pretty crappy, but he talked for like a week about wanting to take me out for burgers at a nearby diner and then 'forgot' his card at home. I ended up paying, and he promised he would pay for the next date. Then ghosted me for a week, and when I confronted him about it, he ended up dumping me in front of my dorm building."

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