I get it. Life is hard. And not all friends need to talk every single day in order to stay friends. But one of the most important parts of a friendship for me is having somebody to rely on. Someone to go to when times are tough, someone that I know can help me out of my spiraling thoughts.

That's what I needed from you. I try not to bug you too much, considering I'm a drama queen who treats any slight inconvenience in my life like it's the end of the world, but you've always been there for me when I needed it in the past years of our friendship.

So what changed? Was it because I moved away? Because I'm not going to the same college as you anymore? I used to believe that our friendship could last through all of that. And for the most part, it has.

We are the type of friends that could go weeks without talking to each other because we get so busy and distracted, but when we hang out, it's as if nothing has changed. I've loved that about our friendship. But I also loved how you were always the one that could cheer me up when nobody else could.

Except for last weekend. I was having a rough night, letting my spiraling thoughts get the better of me. Amidst all of that, I could only think of one person that I wanted to reach out to, the one person who could always make me feel better and like the world wasn't hopeless after all: you. So despite every bone in my body just telling me to not bug you with my problems, I picked up the phone and called you.

And you didn't answer.

I couldn't leave a voicemail, that wouldn't do me any good. I didn't want to keep calling because I knew if you didn't pick up the first time, you were busy and you wouldn't answer my other calls. As I said, I get it. It's just that you've known me long enough to know that I prefer texting over calling, so if I call you, it's usually something pressing or important.

In the past, I have always tried my hardest to reach back out to you if you called and I couldn't answer. Even if I was busy or away from my phone, I always took the time to either call you back or at least text you as soon as I could afterward to make sure that you knew I was still here and that I cared.

I'm trying so hard not to let it bug me that it's been three days and I haven't gotten so much as a text from you. After all, it's only three days. But my wandering mind can't help but make assumptions as to why you haven't reached out to me, especially since I know you have your phone with you every day.

Did I do something wrong? Do I not matter to you anymore? How can one little road bump make it seem like an eight-year friendship is fading away?

You know that I have had a hard time in my transfer process in terms of feeling lonely. I've expressed that to you countless times, so being ignored by my best friend in a time when I desperately needed to hear your voice and have your reassurance that you would always be there for me like you promised isn't the best feeling.

I know you probably have your reasons for not answering, but that doesn't change how I've felt these days while waiting for a reply or at least acknowledgment that I even called you in the first place.

I don't want to reach out and bug you about not answering, because then I'm basically begging you to pay attention to me and feel bad for me, and that's not what I want at all.

I just want you to know that I will always be here for you, despite everything. It would just be nice to know if that goes both ways.