To all the friends I’ve said goodbye to, as selfish as it may sound, letting go of you was the best thing for me. I have spent my entire life walking on eggshells, trying not to hurt anyone's feelings and in doing so I have oftentimes jeopardized my own happiness.
I had to take a step back and evaluate what I was letting influence my life. Through your eyes, I know it may seem that I am being insensitive but at the end of the day we only get one shot at life, and I feel that we should spend it with the people who add joy and love to our lives.
When I was younger I was always stuck in the shadows. Always picked last, always left out of plans, always the third wheel. Even when I would give my all and do my very best to be a dependable friend, I was always the one that was never appreciated. As a young girl who was vulnerable and extremely self-conscious, this reality was a hard thing to swallow.
As I got older I got a little more confident and a little more self-aware of who I was letting leave an impression on me. Over time I gained more self-confidence than my childhood self could’ve ever imagined. I realized my worth and started letting go of people that didn’t add positivity to my life.
Now as I sit here, a kind of adult, I know what I bring to the table in my friendships and I will never give my time to people who haven’t earned it anymore. This isn’t to say that everyone I quit being friends with wronged me in some horrible way and that I’m being a bitter, grudge-holding person about the situation, it just means that not even the best of people can bring out the best in each other.
While some endings weren’t the prettiest and things may have been said that we both regret, I still have so much respect for my past friends. You know me in a way that my new friends don’t know me. Even though we grew apart and are on to better things, you have helped shaped me into the person that I am now and for that I thank you.
I hope you are living and loving life, but if things aren’t so good right now, take a moment for yourself and evaluate what you’re letting affect you. Everyone deserves to be selfish sometimes.