Relationship breakups aren't taboo. It is a common thing in today’s world.
A boy and a girl break up. You run back to your best friend. They comfort you in food and sad songs blasting. Throwing you a pity party. You wallow in your sadness for days and maybe even weeks. Sometimes it is an easy thing to recover when for others it is not. Your best friend essentially becomes your new “boyfriend.”
But what about when the best friend was the one who broke your heart?
Yes, it can happen. The one person who you used to tell everything to. The one who you thought would have your back for forever and always can disappear in a moment's notice, leaving you feeling abandoned and broken. You start to feel heartbroken inside.
Was it me? Was I not a good friend? You get worried you weren't good enough to be friends with this person. You start to question everything about yourself.
When people ask you how they are, you still smile and say they're fine, even if you haven't spoken to them in weeks. You'll pretend to know what has been happening with them because it's nearly an unspoken rule that you can't tell someone you're not longer friends- like you're violating the fundamentals of some ancient, sacred law.
It's alright to miss someone you truly thought you'd spend forever with. It's okay to feel a bit mournful every time you hear their name or see them out and about. You showed someone else the innermost workings of your heart and you shared so many things with them, too. Everything from those dark moments and clandestine secrets, to those unforgettable times of pure bliss and happiness of being able to be your complete and total self in front of another human being.
Friendships can come and go just like relationships, and they can hurt just as much. It's okay to be hurt. It stings. It sucks. It makes you feel wounded, burned and forgotten, left to wallow in the burnt ashes of your once-was friendship.
But that's just how it is. You will recover from it. Some day, it might not feel like you can-- especially on those dark, horrendous days when someone brings up a memory of you two, or you visit a place where a thousand memories were made. And I won't lie, you can think you're over it, but then something will happen and you'll want nothing more than to "accidentally" text them and divulge everything to them. But that's what's supposed to happen. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. But no matter what happens, you'll always have the memories and pictures, even if they cut you, and you bleed just a bit.
Now you are here trying to forget. All the memories, the talks and funny moments you have spent together. It is hard to just forget about someone who has been through it all with you; through the good times and the bad, someone who has seen you at your best and worst. But on this journey we call life, we have to realize that people change and life always moves forward, it does not wait for anyone.
But you won't be sad irrevocably. It gets easier with time, just like a relationship breakup. So go ahead and cry out loud to that awful, off-tune song you guys used to sing in the car or the one you danced to in your bedroom during the summer. Don't be afraid to look at old pictures and texts you have. Some day, it will get easier, and it will feel like something that was just meant to be- accepted and acknowledged.
People change and even if you don't change with them it doesn't mean it's your fault.