To start, I’m sorry. I have lots of really good excuses, but you’ve heard them all. My relationship was new and exciting and I wanted to throw myself into it, spending all of my time with this boy. Now that I’ve been with him a while, I can see that I didn’t need to do that. We are both independent people who could have managed a few hours apart. In the whirlwind of my new relationship, you got left behind, and for this, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you mattered less than him. I was so caught up in juggling everyone’s needs and readjusting my life that I forgot to include you in my plans. You do matter. You matter so much. I just forgot to remind you as often as I should have. I know there were times when you needed me, and I just wasn’t there when I used to be. I’m sorry you had to struggle alone. I should have helped you, I was wrong.

Don’t think that because he’s not going anywhere you have to leave. I’m working on balancing, and while I’m not perfect, I’m getting better. I’ll be there when you need me this time. You come first when we’ve made plans together. There will be so many more girl’s nights and friend-bonding this time around. I hope I haven’t ruined things forever.

I just need you to understand that he really isn’t going anywhere. I know when someone’s going to leave, they’ve done it before. This one is different, and he’s not going to hurt me. You think I’m naive, but I really do know for sure. You don’t like him because I chose him over you, and I hurt you. That wasn’t his fault, it was mine. I really am sorry, and I really will do better. Just give me grace, and let me slip up sometimes. It won’t be on purpose, but I need you to be understanding when I do.

Your friendship really does matter to me. You think it doesn’t because I have other friends, but that’s not how friendships work. I promise I’ll never make you feel small or unimportant again, but you have to trust me or it’s never going to work. If you can’t, I understand. You’re your own person, and you can decide to leave if you want. Just know that that’s never how I wanted things to go. I thought we could all get along together, and I tried to make it work in a balance. If that’s not enough, there’s nothing more I can give. Maybe we’re growing apart. That does happen sometimes. So here I am, reaching out to you, saying I really am sorry and I will do better. If you don’t want to take that risk, it’s up to you, but my door is always open. You’re welcome anytime.