How To Break Up With A Friend Who Breaks You

How To Break Up With A Friend Who Breaks You

The art of handling the weight of a bad friend.

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In college, you expect everyone to act like adults. But who are we kidding? At eighteen years old in our freshman year, we still call our moms for every little thing. One of the most talked about things between children and their parents is for advice and how to deal with certain obstacles. One of the most important of the obstacles is navigating friendships.

College is the time in everyone's lives where we truly evolve into the person we will be for the rest of our lives. Joining clubs, taking certain classes, and hanging out with certain groups molds us more than some may think. Being friends with someone who is toxic for you, even in the slightest, can and will be detrimental to your mental health and your self-acceptance as a young adult.

Singling out what is making you turn sour is a simple process. Look at what has changed around you and what is new. The most common thing happens to be new faces belonging to new friends. As their personalities rub off on you, you can see yourself change into someone you may not like. A rude comment every now and then becomes more and more frequent until you are sitting there wondering how they will make you feel like crap that day. Well starting off a true "friend" would never, ever, make you feel like dirt. Friends are a part of your life to help you grow and become the best versions of yourself. They aren't there to watch you suffer and kick you while you're down.

Talking to a friend can be hard and not a comfortable situation. Face to face confrontation is a task most people avoid. Yet talking to a friend who treats you in a lesser way in person is necessary if you are continuously thinking about what the said toxic friend said to you last week. Bringing up a topic of what had hurt your feelings can go two ways. The first of the ways is that they listen to your concerns and they ask questions and apologize. The second way is full of eye rolls, excuses for their actions, and are full of empty promises.

After a while, as the empty promises began to fade and their façade beings to crumble it is time to finally just cut them out. Stop responding to texts, stop asking them to hang, and stop the snap streak no matter how many days it took you two to build. A true friend will reach out to you in a personal way, a fake friend will confront you with harsh tones and out of context replies.

Life is way too short to spend your days as a punching bag for someone else's insecurities. There are people out there on your campus and around your hometown that are in the headspace to uplift their friends and watch them flourish in life. So, take your time to discover who you are, and find what qualities you want in a friend. And never settle for someone who doesn't see your worth.

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Dear Mom, Now That I'm Older

A letter to the woman who made me the woman I am today.
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Dear Mom,

Now that I'm older, I definitely appreciate you a lot more than I did as a kid. I appreciate the little things, from the random text messages to constantly tagging me on Facebook in your "funny" photos and sending me pins of stuff I like on Pinterest. Now that I'm older, I can look back and realize that everything I am is all because of you. You've made me strong but realize it's okay to cry. You've shown me how a mother gives everything to her children to give them a better life than she had, even when she's left with nothing. And, most importantly you've taught me to never give up and without this, I would not be where I am today.

Mom, now that I'm older, I realize that you're the best friend I'm ever going to have. You cheer me on when I try new things and support me in deciding to be whatever person I want to be. Thank you for never telling me I can't do something and helping me figure out ways to be the best woman I can be. Your love for me is unconditional. They say true, unconditional love can only come from God, but mom, I think you're a pretty close second.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter To The Cool Mom

Now that I'm older, I don't get to see you as much. But not seeing you as much just makes the times I do get to see you the absolute best, and I look forward to it every time. Now that I'm older, I'm not going to live at home. But, I promise to always come back because I know the door is always open. Your house is always going to be my home, and no other place is going to be the same.

Now that I'm older, I realize how much I miss you taking care of me. I miss you making me dinner, making sure I was doing well in school, and taking me to endless appointments. I miss you waking me up for school and then waking me up again because I didn't listen the first time.

But, Mom, now that I'm older, I can see all that you've done for me. I can look back and see how big of a brat I was but you still loved me (and let me live) anyways. I can understand why you did certain things and frankly, you're one bada** of a woman.

To have you as my mom and my best friend has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, Mom, now that I'm older, thank you, for everything.

Love,

Your Daughter

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To The People I Could Never Live Without

You always did your very best to support me and loved me every step of the way.

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Mom, over the years we have grown and developed our relationship beyond what we thought it would ever be. You know I have always been an independent soul, ready to go off on my own from a young age without a single care in the world. As you also know, I am very stubborn and want to do things my own way. Always have, probably always will.

I wanted to thank you for taking such care of me for as long as you did. Knowing you were on your own for the most part, well until Derrick came along. You always did your very best to support me and loved me every step of the way. I still remember you calling me pudding pop for as long as I can remember. I never knew where it came from, but I loved hearing it. Growing up and going through puberty caused a lot of fights for us. You were trying to teach me and make me understand the mistakes I was so hellbent on making for myself. I want you to know that I have always loved you and always will.

Derrick, I honestly can't remember a time when you weren't in my life. You have always been there to support me and cheer me on. You'd pull my baby teeth out when I was too scared to do it myself. You would trick me into thinking I was late for school on Saturday. You watch scary movies with me because I won't watch them alone. We have so many TV series that we've started and abandoned, waiting to be picked back up again.

I want to thank you for treating me like your own, even though I'm not related to you by blood. You have always made me feel loved and cherished and never made me feel out of place. I know I can count on you to be there for me when I need you to be, no matter what. We may not be blood, but you are and forever will be my family.

Dalton, do you know what the first memory I remember with you? Mom was picking me up from daycare after she had gone to the doctors to find out if you were a boy or a girl. I remember that mom and I guessed girl, but Derrick said you were going to be a boy. Mom and I were wrong, obviously, but I remember being happy that we found something else out about you. Even though I was complaining that Derrick was right, I was so excited that we were one step closer to meeting you.

You have been my partner in crime. You watch musicals with me and sing at the top of your lungs when I feel like having a concert in the kitchen. You get involved in everything that interests me as a way to stay close to me. I love you more than life itself. I will forever be there for you for help and advice so don't hesitate to call. If you ever find yourself doubting my affection for you, just remember the time when I almost fought that fake intruder in my towel, fully prepared to fight naked if someone broke in.

I love you all so very much!

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