Ahh, college. What a time to be alive. We threatened our parents with never calling them once we moved out, we told them all the crazy things we would do as soon as we left, but then, we moved out and everything changed. The way you see college in high school is glamorous. It is the saving grace of senior year. It is the appeal for first-time freedom. It's what we dream about between AP exams and graduation practice.
When I was a senior in high school, I could not wait to leave. I was rude to everyone I was around because I couldn't wait to get away from it all. I had gotten accepted to my dream school and couldn't imagine anything bad ever happening in Athens- it just wasn't supposed to happen. I couldn't wait to wear a sorority button on game day. It's funny how a $3 pin means so much to you when you're 18. I couldn't wait to live in a shoebox-sized dorm away from my parents. I had waited and until the day to have a UGA id card with my picture and face on it. I waited forever for this. I earned this. I didn't sleep for six years of studying. I joined clubs I didn't even enjoy for the resume boost. It's funny now looking back and realizing how much everything meant back then- wearing a UGA shirt as a student rather than a fan, being able to go to be one of the students studying outside that you pass on your student tour, being able to have a UGA filter on every single snap chat I took. This was the life that seemed ordinary to most and to me now but was exactly what I prayed for every single day of my life. However, college isn't always what's on Instagram. It's not to be negative, but there are a lot of things I never realized until I spent a year of my life sharing a bathroom with 50 girls.
1. I hadn't had alone time in months.
Even though everyone is taking different classes at different times, everyone is on the same schedule you just don't realize it. You don't think about alone time much in high school because you have a room to yourself and can be there just about anytime with the exception of your sister running in to borrow a shirt every now and then. But there are times you've just been around people too much. You just want to sit in quiet and watch YouTube without headphones or get ready without having to have conversations. Some days, you've just had a bad day and just need a place to cry, to let it out, and get it together. But when you live in a dorm, you don't have a shower you can sit on the floor and have a moment. You don't have a place you can crawl into bed without having to explain anything. You don't have your mom to run to when things don't work out the way you planned. You find yourself either holding it all in, sobbing in the shower after everyone is asleep, letting tears roll down in the dining hall, or shoving your face under your covers. I love living here, but I never knew how much I would value not having to be around anyone and how rare that is.
2. I didn't realize how much I would hate eating.
Everyone talks about the "freshman 15". I assumed this meant the dining hall food was so good everyone eats it and has no self-control. Turns out, that isn't it entirely. It's not that freshman students don't have control in the dining hall, it's that there aren't always healthy options. Fruits and vegetables are more expensive and dining halls don't want to spend the extra money if they don't have to, and with a mandatory meal plan, they don't have to. Also, when everyone is on weird schedules, those don't always align with the dining hall's hours. For example, I get out of class at 2:15 p.m., meaning if I eat my first meal of the day at 2:30 p.m.-3:00 p.m., I'm not hungry for a typical 6:00 p.m. dinner. I rarely have the free time ay 6:00 p.m. to hike down the hill to the dining hall, get fully dressed according to the weather which is most likely not the same as it was when I left class, and get something to eat. I usually get hungry for my next meal after the dining halls close meaning I'm not only eating late but having to spend money to go out and eat. It's a cycle of avoiding the dining hall, eating carbs when you do go, and eating late.
3. Laundry is a bigger time commitment than my classes.
To do laundry in a dining hall, you have to carry your laundry basket down five flights of stairs or just take the elevator. But unlike at home when you can put it in at night and take it out in the morning or leave it in while you run errands or hope your mom does it for you, you have to be there. You can stay in the laundry room during a full load (or two) of clothes, take them out, dry them, and pray that there are open washers and dryers for this entire process. You can also leave your clothes in the washer and set a timer and have to take the elevator down to the laundry room to put them up, up the elevator to put up your laundry basket, back down to switch the laundry, probably back up again because there aren't dryers open, back down to check again, back up to bring up your fabric softeners and clothes that can't be dried and back down to fold it and back up to put it away. This is a solid amount of time you will never get back from your life. And if you can't check that frequently, you can expect to have your wet clothes removed from the washer or dryer and thrown onto the floor or stolen. This is approximately 2 and a half hours or more that you also can't leave the building meaning you cant go to your chapter meeting, your class, your dining hall, to meet your friends, and you just have to wait around for laundry.
4. There are still "popular kids", but, also not really.
I thought after graduation, the rest of the world doesn't care so much who you are or who you were when you were 15. Instead, the Greek system encourages the same type of social class system. I will be the first to tell anyone in a sorority or considering rushing that there are no "good" or "bad" sororities, and I will always stand by that. The only bad sororities are the ones that aren't a good fit for you, and the only good sororities are where you belong. However, where you fit in comes with a reputation whether it's true or not. When there's a date night and you get asked who you're taking, you don't say their name, you say their letters. At a big university, it's unlikely for everyone to know who you know. It's easier to tell someone what fraternity or sorority someone is part of than to hope that they know the exact person you're talking about. But don't get it twisted, everyone in Greek life is close. You have friend groups across organizations that you hear about. You have your group of friends that are dating boys in the same fraternity as your boyfriend so you will see them at every event and everyone will know each other. You will hear about hook ups, hear about the crazy stories that happen downtown, hear about the one person that broke the house's TV or threw up in the MLC. I thought that after graduation everyone runs in different circles and doesn't really hear drama or rumors, but it's still there because even at a big school, everyone knows everybody.
5. Being homesick doesn't mean you peaked in high school or that college isn't for you.
No one admits to this. No one wants you to think they're living less than a perfect life. Their purchased presets are lying to their friends following them. Life is hard away from home. You don't know what to do when your check engine light comes on. You don't know what to eat when its 10 p.m. on a Friday and you have $0.06 in your bank account. You don't think everything is going to be okay when you failed a test and there are only three grades in the semester. You don't know how to handle the drama without sounding like you're always complaining. Sometimes it's hard. After my accounting test, I just wanted to give up and go home to have my mom hug me and tell me it was going to all work out. But the truth is, it isn't always going to work out anymore. And your mom isn't there to convince you otherwise. However, no one tells you-you're not the only one. Everyone has a class that is kicking their ass. Everyone feels alone when they're not invited to the dining hall when they see their friends all eating together without them. Everyone struggles in some aspect whether its mentally, socially, academically, physically, or relationally. It's hard, but you will get through it. Join clubs and organizations to meet friends. Sign up for a gym membership to work out when you're scared of the weight room full of sweaty boys shaped like triangles. Take a mental holiday every now and then and do what you need to be okay.
6. FOMO is an epidemic.
"Fear of missing out" controls the freshman experience. You spend your whole first semester trying to go to everything that comes across your social calendar because you're terrified of all the fun they'll have that you could miss out on. But turns out, you don't have to go to every social event to see your friends. Don't go to everything or you'll get burnt out on all of it. You want to be involved but you don't want to stretch yourself out too thin. Forget about that one night that seems like it'll be a good time, because the truth is, you could do those same things after your test, or on another day, or any other time ever. You don't have to do everything. I promise.
7. People only know what you tell them.
I forgot no one knew who I was. It took me a few months to realize no one knew I was cheer captain or the annoying girl who told jokes in every class or the girl who ranted every day about hating high school or a makeup artist that did block brows and black smokey eyes to school in 10th grade. No ones knows anything I don't tell them. I control how people see me here. I get to tell them what I want to not what they hear through the grapevine in high school. No one knows that I only wore J. Crew shorts my freshman year of high school because I watched Gossip Girl twice and wanted to be like preppy Blair Waldorf. No one knows those parts of me. They only know me for who I am now. They know me for how I treat them, how I interact with them, what I've done here. No one cares about a lot of things that made you who you were in high school- for good or bad.
I love my life here just like I thought I would but that doesn't mean it was what I expected. If you knew me in high school, you never once saw me without makeup. I would have probably told you college would be the exact same way but it's not. You get used to living with people so much they see you without it all the time and it matters a lot less. If you had talked to me before graduation, I would have told you I would never talk to a single EHS graduate ever again but I'm living with one next year and couldn't be more excited about. I would have told you I would never come home on purpose. And even though it is rare that I make the trip back, I miss home a lot more than I thought I would. Showering barefoot was a luxury I didn't realize I would miss. Crawling up to a bunk bed every night got exhausting quickly. The dining hall all-day breakfast and taco bar and custom pasta was a lot less cool than the tour guide told me it was. I used to get mad at my family and couldn't wait to live by myself, but now, I call my mom at least once a day and text my sister throughout class and FaceTime my dad before I go to bed. I never would've thought that would be the case. A lot is different than how I pictured it, but I wouldn't trade my time here for anything or how I spend my life in Athens. College is a trip, but it's worth it.
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