How College Changes You

How College Changes You

College Changes Everyone
Adrian
Adrian
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Many families feel that their son or daughter has “changed” when they come home from college, whether it is for a break or holiday. You may not know how to directly point it out, but they are different. This change captures many college students, and has been baffling families and friends for years. What is this “big change/difference” in your student?

Your sons and daughters are still the same people, but they are beginning to grow, mature, and gain a personal sense of independence. Not only are they on their own for the first time, but they are responsible for everything they do and happens. For example, college is voluntary and expensive; if you do not want to go to class, you don’t have to but it is on your dime. In high school, students have a school day that commonly consists of eight or nine classes each day. However, college you get to make your own schedule; you can have no classes one day, or classes all day, it is up to you. As a college student, you have to find a way to balance classes, homework, friends, and extracurricular activities like sports and clubs.

As you enter college, you don’t really think about upcoming changes, but rather all of the new freedom you will have. In college there are no curfews, chores, dress codes, or parents tell you what to do. The first few weeks of your college career, these new personal freedoms are the “best thing ever!”, but as time passes you realize how much easier it used to be.

The change that everyone notices in their students, is maturity. We are learning how to be an adult, how to live on our own, how to manage money, and much more. Our new personal freedoms we gain as student are shaping us into the adults we need to be. The reason this change confuses so many, is because no matter what you are always a child or baby in your parents’ mind.

Cover Image Credit: Undergrad Success

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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