I do a lot of things in my free time. I write for Odyssey (duh), and I also edit for the community. I am in a sorority (Go Gamma Phi!!), and I am on the executive board of the Panhellenic Association.
I dedicate time to my friends, my boyfriend, and my hobbies, like my faith. And on top of all of that, I find time to spend hours and hours in the library, focusing on doing the best I can to get my degree so I can become a nurse.
If you're asking, "When do you have time to eat? Or sleep?" I don't, really. I work it into my normal activities. I don't have free time, and I love that.
I love being involved in so many different kinds of experiences, being a part of so many people's stories, and to go to bed at night being absolutely exhausted. I feel like my life has a purpose, and that everything I do is important and life-changing, even in a small way.
But being busy is more than just personal satisfaction. It's really hard to be depressed or anxious when you move from appointment to appointment, and meeting to meeting. It is so good for my mental health to stay busy and stay moving, with little time to focus on my mistakes before I have to fix them and learn from them.
I used to think that the best way to deal with my depression was to scale myself back from activities to give myself time to heal, but that ended up making me more depressed. Throwing myself into everything I do, truly giving 110% of myself into everything I do, has given me so much more than just helping my serotonin levels.
It has given me self-confidence, proof that I can do everything I set my mind to, and an immense sense of pride as I do something that a year ago would have been impossible for someone as depressed as me.
Even the criticism I get from it has been helpful. Because what I've learned from being this busy is that I will subconsciously make time for things that make me happy.
What makes me happy are my friends who make me laugh genuinely and take my mind off of whatever I'm worried about.
What makes me happy is spending time with my boyfriend, usually listening to paranormal podcasts and watching old movies.
What makes me happy is taking twenty minutes before bed to do some bible study and to center myself to find God's grace in everything.
What makes me happy is what I make time for, and being busy makes me happy.
I won't apologize for not having time for people who make me feel bad for being so much, and I won't apologize for having to "pencil you in" to see how my week plays out. I love my life, and one of my main goals of this year is to not apologize for the things that make me happy and whole.