A Timeline Of Formal, As Told By Mean Girls

A Timeline Of Formal, As Told By Mean Girls

The inside scoop on the fetchest night of the year.

It's officially spring, and that means one thing: it's time for formal. In a sorority girl's world, formal is one of the most significant, if not the most significant event of the year in Greek life. Finding a date, getting the perfect dress, and planning the perfect night with your sisters are all parts of ensuring you have the best formal. That being said, here's an account of formal as told by "Mean Girls."

1. When you ask a guy to go, and he says yes.

Unofficially the hardest part of formal to handle. No matter how many times I've done it, asking a guy to a function is still really hard and anxiety-provoking.

2. Going dress shopping with your sisters.

One of the best parts! You get to shop till you drop, finding the perfect dress, shoes and accessories. It's all great until you look at the price tag and realize you'll probably just end up borrowing a dress again... #brokegirlprobs.

3. Finding your dream dress, but the store doesn't have it in your size.

Just rip my heart out and tear it to pieces while you're at it.

4. Trying to go on a diet a week or two before.

You're going to eat healthy, go to the gym once a day, and cut down on your drinking. It's a great, well-thought out plan--just one that usually doesn't go into action.

5. Realizing the diet is a lost cause since you have no self-control.

If you go out on a Friday night and don't go to Cookout at the end, did you even go out? Gotta have that 2:00 a.m. fix.

6. Stalking the Google Docs date list and realizing your sister is bringing your ex.

Clearly someone never taught her the "sisters before misters" rule. Can you send her to standards for that?

7. Having a risk-management presentation at the Chapter before formal.

You know what they say--one drop of alcohol and you'll end up in the hospital. Don't do it. Using a fake? You'll get caught, go to jail, never get a job ever again. FELON.

8. Trying to get ready the day of.

You have the perfect, zen formal prep day plan. You start at 3pm to ensure you'll look fabulous in time for the event. But for some reason, of course, your hair isn't staying the way you want it to, your eyeliner is uneven and your dress seems to fit tighter than usual... WHY do bad things happen to good people?!

9. Agreeing to host a "small" pregame at your place.

Your friends said they were just going to invite their fams, that's all! How big can it get? Next thing you know the entire chapter is at your house and you're praying that security won't give you a noise violation ticket.

10. When you get to the house and a sober monitor asks if you've been drinking.

Who, me?? Violate our code of ethics and standards?? Never.

11. An exec member taps out that one sister who has had a little too much...

There's always that one.. The limit to her drinking? Does not exist. The limit to what her body can handle? Definitely passed it.

12. Getting your groove on at the venue.

Not to brag, but you're kind of an great dancer. The reason there's a 5 foot radius around your dance zone is because everyone is intimidated by your awesomeness.

13. Responding to the weird looks you're getting on the dance floor.

Hater's gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate...but you'll just ~shake it off~

14. Exec members attempting to stop dates from buying underage girls drinks.

You know that feeling you get when you're speeding on the highway looking out for cops? That's pretty much the same situation - the underage girls drinking are the targets, and exec is police. You know they have good intentions at heart, but what's life without a little risk?

15. That one senior who gets overemotional about her last formal.

The drunk, crying senior is a classic for every function. Each chapter has one of these, and while you guys know she's a sweet, loving person, you just wish she'd leave the waterworks at home.

16. Having a great night with your date.

In the end, all the planning, stress and tears paid off. You had a great night, awesome date and lots of memories to treasure. You've already set a countdown on your phone for next year's formal, since you can't wait to do it all again.

Cover Image Credit: media3.popsugar-assets.com

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Ilhan Omar Is at Best Foolhardy and at Worst, Yes, Anti-Semitic

Her latest statements seem to lack substance, motivation, or direction.


I find the case of Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) to be a curious one.

Specifically, I am referring to the recent controversy over select comments of hers that have generated accusations of anti-Semitism. In all honesty, prior to doing research for this article, I was prepared to come to her defense.

When her comments consisted primarily of "Israeli hypnosis" and monied interest, I thought her wording poor, though not too egregiously deviated from that of most politicians in the current climate of bad behavior. After all, Israeli PACs surely do have a monied interest in the orientation of United States policy in the Middle East. Besides, if President Trump can hypothesize about killing someone in broad daylight and receive no official sanction, I don't see the need for the House of Representatives to hand down reprimand to Rep. Omar for simply saying that Israel may have dealt wrongly, regardless of the veracity of that position.

And yet, seemingly discontent that she had not drawn enough ire, Omar continued firing. She questioned the purported dual loyalty of those Americans who support the state of Israel, while also making claim that the beloved former President Obama is actually not all that different from the reviled current President Trump.

In short, the initial (mostly) innocuous statements about the United States' relation with Israel have been supplanted by increasingly bizarre (and unnecessary) postulations.

Those latest two controversies I find most egregious. Questioning the loyalty of an American citizen for espousing support for a heavily persecuted world religion and in defense of a refuge for practitioners of that self-same religion that has existed as an independent state since 1948, seems, in really no uncertain terms, anti-Semitic.

After all, is it not her own party that so adamantly supports persecuted Palestinians in the very same region? Is it not she and fellow Muslim Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) (who is not without her own streak of anti-Semitic controversy) that have rejected challenges to their own loyalty in being ethnically Somali and Palestinian respectively? Is her claim not akin to the "racist" demands that Obama produce proof of his birth in the United States, and the more concrete racism that asserted he truly was not? And (if you care to reach back so far) can her statement not be equated to suggestions that President John F. Kennedy would be beholden to the Vatican as the first (and to date only) Catholic to hold the presidency?

From what I can discern amongst her commentary, in Omar's mind, the rules that apply to her framework on race, ethnicity, religion, and culture as sacred idols above reproach do not extend to her Jewish contemporaries.

Oh, and may I remind you that over 70% of Jewish Americans voted for Hilary Clinton in 2016.

And yet, beyond even this hypocrisy, is the strange disdain Omar suddenly seems to hold for Barack Obama. Even as a non-Democrat, while I can find reason for this, it is still largely perplexing.

To begin with, I recognize that Ilhan Omar is not your prototypical Democrat. She would scoff at being termed a moderate, and likely would do the same to being labeled a traditional liberal. While she doesn't identify as an outright democratic socialist, one would have to be totally clueless to avoid putting her in the company of those who do, such as Tlaib or Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY).

As such, she's bound to have some critical evaluations of President Obama, despite the lionizing that the Democratic establishment has and continues to engage in. Two points still stick out to me as obvious incongruities in her statement, however.

First, Obama and Trump are nothing alike. Again, this coming from someone who does not regularly support either, I can at least attempt to claim objectivity. While Obama might not have been faithful to all the demands of the far-left during his presidency, his position on the political spectrum was far from the extreme bent that Trump has ventured into.

Secondly, there is the style of the two men to consider. While Obama had his share of goofs and gaffes (I still think it somewhat juvenile that he often refused to say "radical Islamic terrorism" when referring to Islamist extremists) he pales in comparison to Trump. Every week Trump has his foot caught in a new bear trap. Obama is enormously tame in comparison.

And in addition to all of that, one must beg the question of Omar's timing. With Republicans emboldened by her controversies and House Democratic leadership attempting to soothe the masses, why would Omar strike out at what's largely a popular figure for those that support her most? There seemed no motivation for the commentary and no salient reasoning to back it up, save that Omar wanted to speak her mind.

Such tactlessness is something that'll get you politically killed.

I do not believe Barack Obama was a great president, but that's not entirely important. I don't live in Ilhan Omar's district; her constituents believe Obama was a great president, and that should at least factor into her considerations. Or maybe she did weigh the negative value of such backlash and decided it wouldn't matter? 2019 isn't an election year, after all. Yet, even if that's the case, what's to gain by pissing off your superiors when they're already pissed off at you?

You need to pick your battles wisely in order to win the war, and I'm highly doubtful Omar will win any wars by pitching scorched-earth tactics over such minute concerns.

Her attitude reminds me not only of that of some of her colleagues engaging obtusely and unwisely over subjects that could best be shrugged off (see the AOC media controversies), but also some of my own acquaintances. They believe not only in the myth of their own infallibility, but the opposition bogeyman conjured by their status in a minority or marginalized group. As the logic goes, "I'm a member of x group, and being so gives me the right to decimate anyone who has any inclination to stand against me in any capacity, tit for tat." So much for civility.

I initially came here to defend Rep. Ilhan Omar, and I still do hold to that in certain cases. The opposition to some of her positions is unwarranted. She is allotted the freedom of speech, as are all Americans.

And yet, in certain other cases she has conducted herself brashly, and, one could argue, anti-Semitically.

All I can say is that I am content living adjacent to Minneapolis, not in it. You'd be hard-pressed to find me advocating for leadership that makes manifest in such impolitic fashion.

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