So I'm going to be blatantly honest with you. I can't be everything. I can't get perfect grades, never disappoint anyone, never make a mistake, be there for every friend, and have the best resume. I can't be everything and take care of yourself.
I've learned this the hard way. In high school I was in the theater twenty hours a week, volunteered with my church, worked ten to twelve hours a week, tried to join clubs to boost my resume, and would stop my life to be there for my friends. I tried to juggle everything with my hands. A person can only handle so much, and the maximum number of balls I could juggle was at its limit. If one more was added, I would topple over. I didn't topple over, though, because I put myself second to everything.
I later realized that trying to be everything is just a ploy to try and show that I'm enough. I am grateful for the friends and family who told me to slow down; but most importantly, for my best friend who told me that she would carry my load, as well. If you’re like me, I thought that if I dropped one of the balls I was juggling then someone would be disappointed in me and even worse: I would be disappointed in myself for not being able to handle more. She taught me to share my load. No one is going to be mad or disappointed. Relinquishing one thing or sharing my load allowed me to take a deep breath for the first time in my life. She let me know that not being everything was okay.
I was forced to realize that I am more important than papers. I am more important than the perfect resume. I deserve to be heard and to have my load carried by my friends and family. I can't take care of my work or anyone else unless I take care of myself. I thought that trying to take everyone’s load is how to show love because loving others was more important than loving myself. I believed that being a kind soul should mean putting everyone else’s lives before mine, but sadly that’s not how to be kind or how to effectively love.
"You can’t live your life for everyone else and think that counts as love.”
You can’t be everything and believe that it exemplifies your value or adds to your life. Trying to be everything makes it harder to breathe and makes life more of a struggle. There is nothing wrong with trying to help carry other’s loads or trying to strive for good grades, or competitive resumes; but, make sure your self-care is in there, as well.
It is possible to work hard, to get good grades, to have a competitive resume, to love and be there for your friends, and to take care of yourself. It’s impossible to not disappoint anyone or make mistakes. Sometimes you have to say no. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. You are important. Your ability to breathe is important. You are deserving of help from others. Let others help with your load and let them care for you.
You don't need to be everything.